Partner's friend damaged my car...

NAR

Tropez please ask your OH to raise this face to face so that they can see the facial reaction of their "best friend," especially if there is any attempt at denial/I didn't realise type defences.
Might make the relationship a little rocky, but better that than your OH being duped by a dishonest person!

Tropez

pinkshoes wrote: »

Did the friend know there was CCTV?

I find it shocking that someone can knowingly cause (accidental) damage to someone's car, and not even apologise! The first thing I would have done would be to apologise and offer to get it repaired at my expense.

I am always very careful when opening my car door, but knowing that others aren't, I always park next to the most expensive looking (but not company) car, in hope that the driver will also take care! And I always avoid parking next to any car that has evidence of children on board!

It would seem she didn't know there was CCTV. Clearly she hasn't been paying much attention as there's two camera's out front, one which covers the doorway and one which covers the drive and I've made no effort to hide or obscure either of them.

My partner phoned her friend last night. Such an interesting call that was! Obviously, I only had one side of the conversation, although my partner did offer to put it on speakerphone for me, but it seemed the friend did rather a lot of flailing about before finally admitting it despite my partner repeating that we had it all on tape (well hard drive) many, many times.

In the end, several reasons were given by the friend for not mentioning it. The first being that she was unaware any damage was caused - this of course is debunked by the fact the video has her examining the damage for just over thirty seconds. Then she was afraid that I would "kick off" which is a little insulting to be honest; I don't tend to conduct myself like Homer Simpson... well except when there's doughnuts around. Apparently I also make enough that she didn't expect me to be too bothered... hmm....

Oh and that it was also my fault for parking my car there... yes, how silly of me to park on my own property.

Anyway, as expected, this friend won't be paying for my repairs, although my partner is adamant that she pays for part of the repair so we shall see.

My poor partner was extremely annoyed last night, and had a fair old rant about things so I'm not sure where their friendship stands now. I don't think she would have been half as hacked off if her friend hadn't consistently lied during their phone call as well. To be honest, solely because of how much this has upset my partner I'm tempted to make things very difficult for the friend, but still, I don't think I need pour any more oil on the fire.

Flee_2

What a cow for lying to your OH. I cannot believe that she did that without telling you on the day she did it. I would feel awful if I had done that to a friend's OH's car. Some people have no morals. I personally would leave it a year and take a sledge hammer to the front of her car (just kidding).
Make sure that she pays something towards it, just as principle, and to stop her doing it again or to someone else. She clearly has no regret for what she did or any regard for other people's property.

Pollycat

Tropez
this 'friend' sounds like a really unpleasant piece of work.

From what you say about the conversation she had with your partner, she's dug herself into a bit of a hole (with a bloody great big shovel) - a hole that she might not be able to crawl back out of.

I hope your partner sticks to her guns and insists she contributes towards the repairs.

As you say, it's not the money but a gesture from her would probably go some way towards repairing this long-standing friendship from your partner's viewpoint.

I don't think you need to pour any oil onto the fire either, you've handled this exceptionally well and your partner is bound to respect this.

Tropez

Flee wrote: »

What a cow for lying to your OH. I cannot believe that she did that without telling you on the day she did it. I would feel awful if I had done that to a friend's OH's car. Some people have no morals. I personally would leave it a year and take a sledge hammer to the front of her car (just kidding).
Make sure that she pays something towards it, just as principle, and to stop her doing it again or to someone else. She clearly has no regret for what she did or any regard for other people's property.

I'm liking the sledge hammer idea.

We'll have to see about whether I get any money back. I'm sure my partner isn't going to give up very easily, and she's quite scary when she wants to be, but I also get the impression this friend is skint. It wouldn't surprise me at all if the whole reason she didn't say anything is because she can't afford her insurance excess or something as daft as that.

Tropez

Pollycat wrote: »

Tropez
this 'friend' sounds like a really unpleasant piece of work.

From what you say about the conversation she had with your partner, she's dug herself into a bit of a hole (with a bloody great big shovel) - a hole that she might not be able to crawl back out of.

I hope your partner sticks to her guns and insists she contributes towards the repairs.

As you say, it's not the money but a gesture from her would probably go some way towards repairing this long-standing friendship from your partner's viewpoint.

I don't think you need to pour any oil onto the fire either, you've handled this exceptionally well and your partner is bound to respect this.

Thanks. Yeah, she did dig quite the hole last night.

I'm sure my partner will at least try to get some sort of reimbursement. I had the car at the garage this morning and the estimate isn't as bad as I'd expected, though they did say they're not sure what is causing the noise from the electric window so they're going to try and knock out the dent and patch up the paint job and see if that fixes it all. Luckily for me, I know the guys at this garage aren't cowboys (my dad used to work there, and the owner is still the same guy) so I know that if they can fix it easily they will.

Incapuppy

You're a better person than me; I would be insisting the 'friend' paid in full for the damage. Perhaps this would make her realise that her actions have consequences and that she needs to grow up and live in the real world.

Kay_Peel

:TWell handled so far, Tropez.

Personally, I would act as though she hadn't refused to pay the full amount.

Think about sending her a copy the estimate for repair with a covering letter saying 'Further to your conversation with xxxx on 13th April, I enclose an estimate to repair the damage. I intend to put my car in for the necessary work within 7 days of this letter and will seek reimbursement from you.'

I would get the car repaired, pay the bill and send her an invoice with copies of the repair schedule.

She may just cough up quietly. If not, you would be on firmer ground when you went to a small claims court.

Good luck - you've played a blinder, but she ought not to get away with it.

NAR

Tropez wrote: »

My poor partner was extremely annoyed last night, and had a fair old rant about things so I'm not sure where their friendship stands now. I don't think she would have been half as hacked off if her friend hadn't consistently lied during their phone call as well.

Maybe it was better that it wasn't face to face as your partner may not have been able to keep her cool with her friend!
There is no doubt the worst thing you can ever do to a friend is lie - trust is betrayed, as her friend will find to her cost.
Tropez sit back and let things run their course. I don't think, from reading your posts, that the cost of the repairs is the issue; it is the fact that the friend didn't be honest at the outset and apologise.
Your next face to face meeting with the friend will be priceless! :rotfl:

Pollycat

NAR wrote: »

Your next face to face meeting with the friend will be priceless! :rotfl:

Absolutely!
Can we all come and be 'flies on the wall' - PLEASE. :rotfl: