Partner's friend damaged my car...

Tropez

ali-t wrote: »

Do you still have the footage of the incident? I would be tempted to e-mail your partners friends the section of the footage showing her damaging the car with a 'thanks for letting me know...' message. Let her sweat it out a bit, the best kind of revenge - especially since you don't like her anyway.

:rotfl: Yes, I still have the footage. I have no contact details for the friend though.

Pollycat

Tropez wrote: »

I suppose what I mean is I could understand if I came across as attacking her friend by saying something like "Look what she did" that my partner might want to try and neutralise any ill feeling by suggesting that she would be embarrassed, or slipped her mind, or any other such thing. My partner, bless her, wants everyone to get along but I know if I approach it in a calm, thought out manner she'll understand my dislike.

I don't really mind being left out of pocket. I'm sure I can afford the repairs without having to go through insurance, and at the end of the day, a bit of money doesn't mean much to me in the grand scheme of things but my partner's happiness means everything. She doesn't get to spend much time out and about, spends 11-13 hours working per day and although I'd rather she didn't get wasted everytime she goes out with this friend, I'd rather they maintained their friendship because it gives her a break from everything. This is why, if her friend had just apologised to begin with, I'd have no problem.

Re the bits I've highlighted:
I think if you can pull it off (i.e. my suggestion), you might find that your partner will be really annoyed with her friend for the deception and you might even get some brownie points for not going over the top with her friend.

Hope it works out OK.

ali-t

Tropez wrote: »

:rotfl: Yes, I still have the footage. I have no contact details for the friend though.

C'mon Tropez you aren't trying hard enough :rotfl:

Do you have access to facebook or similar where she may have details posted, you could google her, PIPL her, go through her workplace e-mail or any other bit of detective work that would give you her details.

Posting the footage on facebook would be a step too far though.....

Mojisola

I think if you took it up directly with the friend, you're going to be in bad books at home. Show your partner what happened - the damage on the car and view the CCTV together and take it from there.

Tropez

Pollycat wrote: »

Re the bits I've highlighted:
I think if you can pull it off (i.e. my suggestion), you might find that your partner will be really annoyed with her friend for the deception and you might even get some brownie points for not going over the top with her friend.

Hope it works out OK.

Thanks. I thought about it and if I manouevre my car slightly then my partner should see the damage herself when she comes home. I'm surprised she didn't notice it herself this morning.

ali-t wrote: »

C'mon Tropez you aren't trying hard enough :rotfl:

Do you have access to facebook or similar where she may have details posted, you could google her, PIPL her, go through her workplace e-mail or any other bit of detective work that would give you her details.

Posting the footage on facebook would be a step too far though.....

:rotfl:

Aren't you the devious one?

I'm an old fashioned 27 year old who doesn't use Facebook.

Mojisola

Tropez wrote: »

Thanks. I thought about it and if I manouevre my car slightly then my partner should see the damage herself when she comes home.o

It would be interesting to see if she changes her attitude between thinking some so-and-so did it and learning that her "friend" did it and then came in and visited without mentioning it.

thistledome

What a cheeky mare!

Perhaps you could ask your OH, in a casual way, if her friend mentioned anything about denting your car the other night? Say you're not really that bothered but the dent was large enough to make you look it up on the CCTV (in case there are vandals prowling the neighbourhood) and to your great surprise it was her friend.

Tbh, if you're really that worried about upsetting your OH and money is no object then perhaps you shouldn't mention it at all. I have to say that I wouldn't be able to let it go without saying something, regardless of the money - what she did is wrong. In fact, it's outrageous. If I were your OH I would want to know.

LEJC

You have CCTV covering your car and presumably your partner is aware of it....you also have a car thats been damaged whilst being covered by CCTV...surely your partner will also be aware of that...so it wont come as a shock to her when you review the footage with or without her and find out that her friend was the cause of it...

Now I understand friendship and I assume that you have CCTV installed so as to make it easy to identify acts of damage or the like on your car...which is what has happened...I also understand your sentiment about it only being money and affordable for you to repair...but clearly in my mind you have the CCTV for exactly this reason...to identify who damages your property

IF the shoe were on the other foot and you had acted in the same fashion as your partners friend would she simply shut up and pay up for your error so as not to risk her friendship with your partner?...

Its for you to decide what to do to keep the peace but I cant help but think you are being very soft on this person...even if next time you see her you at least make the comment that you know that she was the one that caused the damage to your car....at least the next time you have the misfortune that she parks next to your car she will be a bit more careful of how she opens her door!

Incapuppy

She's done it, she knows she's done it - the bit that I don't understand is why she didn't rush into your house saying something along the lines of 'OMG, I'm so sorry but I've just accidentally bashed your partner's car' or at the very least 'I think I may have bashed it, can we go check please?'

Sneaky bint. I'd be questioning the value of your OH's friendship to her if she is prepared to behave in such a manner.

Olokia

Pollycat wrote: »

Could you possibly tell your partner that someone has damaged your car and that you're pretty sure it happened when it was parked in the drive and ask if she would look through the CCTV with you?

I second this