How can I ensure my stepsons don't get a penny from my will?

POPPYOSCAR

OP I am finding your posts very confusing now.

In one you state that you never wanted children and in the next you say you would have liked to have a child???????

Plans_all_plans

All the long, I've thought your husband sounds a bit fishy: the sort of man who pretends his own kids are out of his life and not important is the sort of man you'd do well to keep away from.

The vasectomy thing is outrageous. He could quite possibly have robbed you of the chance to ever have your own child. Poppyoscar: it's easy for people to convince themselves that something's not important to them if they can't see a way of getting what they want, so I think that's why the OP has changed her tone on the children subject.

Also, the sort of man who - in his forties !!!!!!!! -remortages his mother's house to get together a deposit for himself, is a bit of a shyster in my opinion! Why couldn't he have worked hard to get a deposit together himself??

I'm actually starting to think you're more angry with the way your husband behaves, than the way his children behave.

I think marriage counselling's the way to go.

consultant31

consultant31 wrote: »

All our money will be left to our children and grandchildren but if they were shiftless and !!!!less, they wouldn't get a full share.

Just to clarify that I didn't use a swear word, the filter has apparently objected to the word 'f e c k less'......go figure!

catfish50

consultant31 wrote: »

Just to clarify that I didn't use a swear word, the filter has apparently objected to the word 'f e c k less'......go figure!

LOL...thanks for explaining that. I was trying without success to figure out what it could have been as the most obvious possibility didn't make much sense!

Fang_3

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

All the long, I've thought your husband sounds a bit fishy: the sort of man who pretends his own kids are out of his life and not important is the sort of man you'd do well to keep away from.

The vasectomy thing is outrageous. He could quite possibly have robbed you of the chance to ever have your own child. Poppyoscar: it's easy for people to convince themselves that something's not important to them if they can't see a way of getting what they want, so I think that's why the OP has changed her tone on the children subject.

Also, the sort of man who - in his forties !!!!!!!! -remortages his mother's house to get together a deposit for himself, is a bit of a shyster in my opinion! Why couldn't he have worked hard to get a deposit together himself??

I'm actually starting to think you're more angry with the way your husband behaves, than the way his children behave.

I think marriage counselling's the way to go.

So it's wrong for a man to not mention that he's had a vasectomy to his partner who has lied to him and told him that she didn't want children? Right. Double standards much?!

Plans_all_plans

No double standards at all: why WOULDN'T he mention he'd had a vasectomy to someone who said they didn't want children? It would be natural for the conversation to have gone something like this:

OP: I don't want kids
Husband: Oh you wont need to worry about that, I've had the snip already

Unless he already had some inkling that she would have liked kids so kept quiet cos of that.

Fang_3

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

No double standards at all: why WOULDN'T he mention he'd had a vasectomy to someone who said they didn't want children? It would be natural for the conversation to have gone something like this:

OP: I don't want kids
Husband: Oh you wont need to worry about that, I've had the snip already

Unless he already had some inkling that she would have liked kids so kept quiet cos of that.

Plenty of double standards - she lied, but that's OK in your book apparently.

Or maybe he just didn't mention it? What would be the point of mentioning the fact you'd had a vasectomy to a woman who claims she has no maternal instincts and was happy to shack up with a man who she thought had abandoned his child. Lovely pair the both of them.

Jerryjerryjerry

Fang wrote: »

So it's wrong for a man to not mention that he's had a vasectomy to his partner who has lied to him and told him that she didn't want children? Right. Double standards much?!

We didn't talk about children until after we were married (for whatever reason). I remember having a conversation with my sister about it and she said, now you're married, you could have children. I remember thinking.. my god.. yes, I actually could. Until then, i'd written off ever having children.

Anyway, it was only weeks after the marriage that we were talking about our future and children and he then said, "i've got something to tell you... but don't worry coz it can be reversed".

I was not angry at the time. But as time has gone on and he's not made any move to go and get it reversed (he doesn't have much left over each month), but he hasn't even asked if he could get it done on the NHS.

I have not lied to him.

Jerryjerryjerry

Fang wrote: »

Plenty of double standards - she lied, but that's OK in your book apparently.

Or maybe he just didn't mention it? What would be the point of mentioning the fact you'd had a vasectomy to a woman who claims she has no maternal instincts and was happy to shack up with a man who she thought had abandoned his child. Lovely pair the both of them.

When he first told me he hadn't seen his children for two years, of course, immediately alarm bells rang. however, he told me that the children did not want to speak to him. He would drive past them.. stop his car and try to speak to them, and they'd walk away. I actually felt sorry for him. He said that his ex wife had told them that he'd slept with her sister (their aunty), and that the kids were so disgusted in him they didn't want to speak to him again. I believe him.

His son only came back to him because he had nowhere else to go. His mother kicked him out a few days before my wedding.

Lovely pair? I'm amazed you are able to judge me in this fashion.

Gothicfairy

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear that. That's very sad. However, you can make your own life. You can earn your own living and hold your head up. You don't need someone eles's money.

sorry this is so late.....I never ever expected anything from my step mother, she can do what she likes with her money ( although she stopped working the day she married my father and lived off him )
I am leaving the country and will be leaving the family and am more then happy to do so off my own back..All be it hard work as I was made redundant and have been unable to find any work since then, but that is my problem and no one elses.

I just think it is such a shame when family comes down to money