Do I have SIL's child? **AN UPDATE**

chalkiesalem_2

Hi OP just finished reading your thread and to be honest alot of it could of been writen by myself.

My sister has 3 children to 3 different dads, they have all been taken from her now (she is not a fit mother but dont really want to go into details) the 2 older boys are with their dads families but the little girls (she is one) are also not fit to have her (my sister knows how to pick them). Anyway it was considered that i should have the little girl. After aot of thought and feeling guilty i decided against it, just like yourself. Me and my sister do not get on, she is not a nice person and i didnt want her in my son's life (he is 5). I know that may seem increadbly selfish but he has to come first for me. i also dont feel to have more than one child at the moment, me and my OH have full time jobs as we have a mortgage to pay and i just dont think i could manage a baby as well
Anyway i just wanted to let you know that i do fully understand what you have been through and how you probably felt. I belive you are responsible to do right by your own child and OH and I think you did the right thing. Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way.

I hope your SIL sorts herself out with the contreception thing, but to be honest if she wants to get pregnant again she will. My sister did, but sadly miscarried

LadyMorticia

I've read the whole thread and can't really add any more to it than the majority of other people have said.

I want to congratulate you on your pregnancy though so...CONGRATULATIONS!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

Surely this would be the 6th child she would lose

Yes - baby brain! (I always forget about the eldest as i have never met her, same as youngest)

My brother did mention the other day that he never wanted me to have the youngest anyway but not sure if he is just saying it because he's angry

I still havent heard if shes done a test yet. My mums friend apprently commented on SIL's weight the other day and asked if she was pregnant (SIL always been slimish) so im guessing if she is pregnant and that is a bump shes a good few months into it at least

Sorry i forgot who asked - theres a very slim chance brother could have his kids if they break up but he would need to move in with ny mum and be supervised. SIL said they was going "to pretend to break up" but i've had a long chat with her and explanined this is wrong and if they get caught they will get in so much trouble. SIL is on about dropping out of the case due to her mental health - she believes if she waits 5 years then tried again she can say she never had a fair "trial" although why she see's is as a "trial" i dont know but even in 5 years she hasnt got a hope in hell of having them back

jellyhead

Her mental health might improve, I suppose.

I know someone who had 4 children taken away, but they allowed her to keep the 5th child because she'd changed (stopped using heroin) and was able to look after it, with lots of help and monitoring.

jellyhead

flump is a great name for a baby

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

jellyhead wrote: »

Her mental health might improve, I suppose.

I know someone who had 4 children taken away, but they allowed her to keep the 5th child because she'd changed (stopped using heroin) and was able to look after it, with lots of help and monitoring.

I'm not sure whether it will change or not but both solicitors and SS have said she wont ever get them back. Its a genetic disorder she has - She doesnt really see dangers which is why SS removed the kids before they got hurt. Both parents had had a mental health report done, all SIL's files from when she was younger have been reviewed and her family history.

I'm one of these "look for the worst then you'll be prepared no matter what" kind of person so i've told her to not expect them back as i dont think it will do her any good holding on to a flicker of hope

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

jellyhead wrote: »

flump is a great name for a baby

I'm changing my mind on flump - its satan!! I swear my first pregnancy wasnt this bad! OH has twins in his immediate family, i have them in my extended. I'm cr*pping myself lol

Zoetoes

chalkiesalem wrote: »

Hi OP just finished reading your thread and to be honest alot of it could of been writen by myself.

My sister has 3 children to 3 different dads, they have all been taken from her now (she is not a fit mother but dont really want to go into details) the 2 older boys are with their dads families but the little girls (she is one) are also not fit to have her (my sister knows how to pick them). Anyway it was considered that i should have the little girl. After aot of thought and feeling guilty i decided against it, just like yourself. Me and my sister do not get on, she is not a nice person and i didnt want her in my son's life (he is 5). I know that may seem increadbly selfish but he has to come first for me. i also dont feel to have more than one child at the moment, me and my OH have full time jobs as we have a mortgage to pay and i just dont think i could manage a baby as well
Anyway i just wanted to let you know that i do fully understand what you have been through and how you probably felt. I belive you are responsible to do right by your own child and OH and I think you did the right thing. Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way.

I hope your SIL sorts herself out with the contreception thing, but to be honest if she wants to get pregnant again she will. My sister did, but sadly miscarried

The bold part is the main thing for me, your own kids come first, this is what OP has done as well, put her own child first.

Congratulations on the pregnancy OP! :T

pozalina

'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results'.

Quite fitting for your brother and sister-in-law.