Do I have SIL's child? **AN UPDATE**

neneromanova

to be honest If your brother gets the snip, she sounds like she could be the sort of woman to leave your brother and go find someone else to give her another baby.

pigpen

neneromanova wrote: »

to be honest If your brother gets the snip, she sounds like she could be the sort of woman to leave your brother and go find someone else to give her another baby.

Exactly my thoughts.

But who actually LIKES operations?! They are the means to an end not something people would subject themselves to because they are pleasant!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

i dont think its a choice of "like" i think iits a "i dont want to" more than anything but surely if you KNOW you must do something and you was given the choice of a full blown operation or a needle in your butt every so many months, if your THAT scared of an op then a needle would look more appealing?

(I dont actually mind operations - but then ive had a few so am a pro now lol)

jellyhead

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

No, they've been told they will never get kids back and that only chance is when the children are 16 and if they ask to go back (which is doubtful aqs they wont know their mum and dad, except one)

I dont think she'll be persuaded either - she keeps saying she hates operations. Not sure if Bro will be snipped

What if they split up? Would your brother be allowed to have the children that he fathered? Would he be allowed to keep any children that he fathers with another woman?

If not, then there's no reason not to have the snip imo. It's much easier than the female operation.

It seems to be a hopeless situation but I feel so sorry for your SIL

jellyhead

pigpen wrote: »

Exactly my thoughts.

But who actually LIKES operations?! They are the means to an end not something people would subject themselves to because they are pleasant!

I don't LIKE having a coil put in. I have panic attacks just thinking about it, even smear tests upset me It's worth it (with valium!) to have contraception sorted out for 5 years though, as we can't afford another baby and my husband doesn't want one.

If someone she trusts goes with her and keeps her calm, gets valium from the GP for her and reminds her that it's worth it she might be okay with a coil.

neneromanova

How about your brother gets the snip on the sly that way she still thinks he's firing gooduns, when in fact he's firing blanks...

make_me_wise

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

Sorry if i souldnt put the update on the last page but:

I told SIL i would be needing the cot back i gave her (Obviously she has no child who uses the cot) and the %&£^Y£$&"$"£$& daft c*w has said "oh, i think im pregnant too"

I want to throttle her . . . .

She isn't 100% sure if she is but shes put on ALOT of weight

I asked why she wasnt on the pill - she said docs refuse to give it her because of all her other medication

I said "depo!!!" she said she doesnt like needles

"implant?" her reply "i dont like the look of it"

So i told her to get bl**dy fixed - her reply "i dont like operations"

Am SO SO angry with her right now (shouted at bro - he said he thought she was being careful - idiot)

any one got the number for Jeremy Kyle ...........

What a desperately sad situation. I do feel like your sil has been let down all her life. Fancy being so young and having so many children taken from you. That is heartbreaking.

I do feel you have made the right decision completely OP. The baby has a chance to be adopted by a loving family who will cherish it and hopefully give it all it needs. I feel that contact with its parents would be detrimental to its childhood and upbringing. It would have been an impossible situation for you and your family.

Huge congratulations on your pregnancy. We are due within 3 days of each other. Hope things go smoothly for you.

~Chameleon~

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

I personally dont like the implant, but if i had 4 kids took off me, i'd make sure there wasnt a 5th - regardless what i had to do

Surely this would be the 6th child she would lose as you previously said:

SIL is 19 and had 5 kids under 6 with this genetic disorder so that was heavy in this case.

I do hope for the sake of all concerned she's not pregnant again. I do think you've made the right decision a far as not adopting the baby though, and congratulations on your forthcoming bundle of joy

meritaten

So sorry Mimi - I was so upset for your family that It didnt enter my head to congratulate you on YOUR pregnancy! SO - BIG CONGRATULTIONS HUN!!!

Bloomin_Freezing2

I think you have made the right choice here OP, especially now that you are pregnant - Congratulations! You should not be made to feel bad for saying 'No'. I really hope the young girl isn't pregnant again also.