My 11 year old keeps stealing from the family and I've tried everything??

Star1

Sorry, cross-posted with Errata. Great minds think alike

elsien

I agree with Mojisola - it may be a stage that he's going through, but worst case scenario if it's not sorted is the stealing continuing and getting worse. My nephew started off with sweets, and odd bits of money, it was never properly dealt with and now he's in his twenties and will steal money off anyone - his mum can't leave any money in the house ever and has to sleep with her purse under her pillow, he nicks from local shops and most relatives now won't have him in the house.

Edit - not trying to stress you out more, I just think your husband is mistaken in his "kid's will be kid's" attitude. Some may grow out of it, other's need a bit more help to get there.

Sambucus_Nigra

Totally agree with Errata - give him pocket money and stop buying sweets yourself!

stressedoutmum

He did get pocket money but we stopped it because he blew it all on sweets. We asked him to save half and spend half but found out the money he should have saved he spent on sweets and he still stole when he had money which is why we stopped it. This hasn't just started because he doesn't get money. His money stopped because he done it whilst also getting money so his money was stopped to pay for things. He is actually a very happy little boy, very helpful, sociable and everyone loves him. When you ask him whey he does silly things he says its because he's greedy and he wants it and doesn't like being told no. When we explain he loses out because of it he says he knows and thinks about it afterwards.

botanical

I stole as a child. It wasn't greed or silliness or naughtiness. It was unhappiness and for a while it made me feel better.

Except as a child I couldn't put that into words.

stressedoutmum

he's not an unhappy little boy. He has lots of friends, is always smiling and laughing, the teachers and staff all think he's a little cutie. Givin him money or an allowance doesn't make any difference and he's not worried about anything - we've racked our brains thinking and trying everything.

elsien

stressedoutmum wrote: »

He has lots of friends, is always smiling and laughing, the teachers and staff all think he's a little cutie.

Could that be part of it? There are times when the "cute" kids get away with stuff that others may be picked up on. Has he started to learn that the cheeky grin means people go easy on him, so he has less understanding of actions and consequences in a more general way or on a daily basis?

stressedoutmum

could be but at home we always stick by any punishments we give out so he knows he can't get away with it at home but still he carries on ...

Savvy_Sue

Mojisola wrote: »

Have you asked the school if he could be seen by the School Psychologist? If they can't arrange it, see your GP. There's something deep going on here and it needs sorting out.

I agree. I don't know WHAT is going on, but there's something.

Molly41

stressedoutmum wrote: »

Yes the x box is off him. I bought it because his behaviour had improved and he worked towards getting it . He doesn't get pocket money as we buy what he needs. I have put the sweets away but don't feel that I should have to 'hide' things from him. I have had the police speak to him but it didn't bother him. I talked to him patiently, praised his good behaviour and done everything everyone has suggested. When I give him a punishment I stick to it and he knows that. When he had his old playstation taken from him for 3 weeks he never had it. I've had him sitting downstairs in the evening before as he can't be trusted upstairs - he done that for a week and was bored stiff but still he carries on letting himself down. My husband says I'm too tough on him and kids will be kids

He needs some pocket money in order to have freedom of choice. Instead of you making all his choices for him. Also how humiliating to have a police officer cart him off at school. Totally inappropriate and OTT!