Worry about leaving my son :((

Queen_Of_The_Jungle

I couldn't leave my kids to go on a holiday with hubby. I would be like you and worried about something happening to him whilst I was away or something happening to us whilst we were abroad.
I wouldn't diss anyone who holidays without their children but it something I wouldn't do. I did not have them just to leave them with family whilst I holidayed. I want them to experience everything with me whilst they are young.

I would take him with me if I was you, good luck in your decision :-)

madison-nyc

lisaloo1977 wrote: »

Ok,

I have a son aged 4 and a half, he tells me the half is important.:rotfl:

My husband and I share the same birthday and as we are already abroad for a christening on the actual date, he decided to book a 4 night break to NY for me and him as a birthday surprise.

Now I have to add in I'm quite the green day fan and Bille Joe is playing the lead in the broadway show American idiot, we have 3rd row seats and my hubby did all this as a suprsise

Here comes the problem. Whilst I travel all over the world, we all travel as a family and it's all great, I do go through the control issues and fear now I am a mum. And I'm terrified to leave my son behind :eek:

He is going to my parents house and will have a blast with his cousins who he does not get to see as often as we would like because of distance. He has asked his dad if he is not coming with us because we dont like him enough

I'm torn between amazing gift from hubby, chance to see a fave person of mine live on broadway and leaving my boy behind...

This sounds stupid, but I just think what if something bad occurred and he lost his parents (dramatic I know) but totally how I am feeling. Less than two weeks to go and I can't sleep thinking about leaving him, I'm worried sick, being pathetic.

Options are take him with us, not end of world money wise and Marriott will babysit for our show night.
Cancel whole thing lose about £1200.
Go without him and be brave!!!! I'm never brave and I'm def a person who worries so not sure this option would result on me being on the plane!!!

When did you first leave your child. Am i being stupid, I just love him so much if something were to happen it's unthinkable ((

Bite the bullet and GOOOOO! lol I have two kids , aged 4 and 17 months and I know exactly how you feel but once your actually on your way and get through the first day you'll be fine! honest!

Me and my hubby went to new york last month for 5 nights , the kids stayed with my mom. I cried as we said goodbye and fretted but I and they were fine.

Your son will have a great time and so will you!

As for taking him with you , i definately wouldn't take a 4 year old to nyc it's just too busy and as for letting the hotel babysit , no way would i do that! lol i'd rather leave my kids at home than without be in a foreign hotel with a stranger!

Go and enjoy , you will love NYC and a break from the kids every now and again is very good for you and your hubby :-)

Nenen

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

I wish i hadnt looked at this thread now, bet you lot will have me down as an awful parent as the longest ive been away from mine is about 6 hours and never overnight, they are 1, 3 and 5 lol

I certainly don't think you're an awful parent. I was the same when my children were the age yours are - as I said in my first post, we didn't start going away overnight until our youngest child was three (which means his siblings were five and seven). For one thing I was still breastfeeding until my youngest was almost two and personally I preferred to wait until my children were old enough to understand what was happening and I could explain when we would be back etc. However, everyone's situation is different and some people are lucky enough to be very close to their families so their children feel secure with them from a younger age.

My dh and I happened to feel strongly that we wanted to be there every night for the children when they were very young but equally, after almost eight years of caring for them, we were ready for a night to ourselves occasionally! Mind you, I remember the first one vividly - we stayed for one night in Margate and really enjoyed the evening together but the next day, sitting on the beach together, all we could talk about was how much the children would enjoy being with us - I felt like I'd had a leg amputated and spent ages choosing them all presents! Even now (they are 21, 23 and 25) I still buy them all a present if we go away for a couple of nights! :rotfl:

pinkclouds

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Not at all: however if a chance of a lifetime was presented to you, with childcare sorted with people you knew you could trust, who loved and were loved by the children, I hope you'd want to take it.

actually it sounds as if the fear of flying is the big thing for the OP, so that's the thing I'd want to concentrate on, if it was me. I usually have DH's hand tight in mine on take off and landing, but I've had to do a few flights where he's not been sitting next to me, and I stay in my book!

Nope, I still wouldn't go without my kids.

However, I agree that going with or without kids is a red herring. Fear of flying is the actual issue and a very real and genuine fear for many people. I don't know what coping strategies are most appropriate for the OP but maybe her GP can prescribe or recommend something. Someone I know finds Bach's Rescue Remedy helpful. Or there's various other options like relaxation techniques or distraction methods. Maybe an iPod with classical music or visiting the cockpit to see for yourself that all is well. And so on.

Sugardonut

My dad passed away when i was 8 and myself and my brother spent the odd holiday here and there with aunties and uncles. I loved the time away, being with my cousins. It also made me feel i was part of the family in my own right, not just through my parents (if that makes any sense!) I think having that seperation from my Mum made me more idependent. It's very natural for parents to have a bit of anxiety about leaving their kids overnight, but if i'm lucky enough to have them, i'd try and over come this and let them stay at the grandparents now and again.

Your trip away sounds fab, get a drink at the airport pub to calm your nerves and enjoy it. Your wee one will no doubt have lots of fun and enjoy being spoiled rotten while your away and when you get back - win/win.

JC9297

Queen_Of_The_Jungle wrote: »

I couldn't leave my kids to go on a holiday with hubby. I would be like you and worried about something happening to him whilst I was away or something happening to us whilst we were abroad.
I wouldn't diss anyone who holidays without their children but it something I wouldn't do. I did not have them just to leave them with family whilst I holidayed. I want them to experience everything with me whilst they are young.

I would take him with me if I was you, good luck in your decision :-)

But the OP isn't talking about going away on holiday without her son instead of having a family holiday, just a special weekend break with her husband. Are you saying that you won't do anything that your children can't do too, so would never go to the cinema unless to see child friendly films? It is possible to do both.

Queen_Of_The_Jungle

JC9297 wrote: »

But the OP isn't talking about going away on holiday without her son instead of having a family holiday, just a special weekend break with her husband. Are you saying that you won't do anything that your children can't do too, so would never go to the cinema unless to see child friendly films? It is possible to do both.

Cinema is different to going abroad without them!

Each to their own. I would miss them too much and so would my husband. We don't feel the need to "get away" from it all - well not yet anyway

Savvy_Sue

pinkclouds wrote: »

or visiting the cockpit to see for yourself that all is well. And so on.

I didn't think they would let you do that these days! All locked up etc ...

Spendless

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

well i dont think that would ever happen tbh due to alot of things that have happened when i have let other people look after the kids, it now doesnt happen often

If you'd had a bad experience when others are watching your children then that will influence your decisions. For a few years I refused to go away o/night because there had been an occassion when we had a spare ferry crossing to use up (we'd been let down over a family holiday let after booking the ferry and for various reasons were unable to use it on a different family hol) so we asked a family member if they would have the children and if so we would go the weekend that suited the person babysitting. So far, so good. Apart from the person we left in charge decided to do something else instead that weekend, 50 miles away from our home and left a teenager in charge instead, something they hadn't mentioned to us, or we'd agreed on. They were even going to leave the teenager in charge overnight, till DH had sharp words and they changed their mind. We were overseas by this point with no way home till morning.

poet123

I know where you are coming from here.....I never left mine for anything that involved a plane journey until the eldest was 18! and even now the youngest aged 13 always travels with us when we fly.

It is irrational, as we have left them all with grandparents, and with each other when they were older, when we have gone away in this country for the weekend.

Like you it is the plane which is the issue. Completely irrational as we could just have easily left them orphaned in a car crash 2 miles away, I know this, but I never managed to rationalise it enough to get on the plane.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, whichever way you view it, I never had to make the choice....I do hope you manage to go, it sounds wonderful and a lovely thing for your OH to have done. I know how hard it will be though.