Stress / Anxiety - I need help!!

learning_to_drive

Breaking news, I've been offered a job as a normal colleague by a former duty manager of mine at York store over Xmas, he rung me today to ask me.

Not only that, but a supervisor positon at the White Rose store has come up, potentially in the new year, I should hear about that tomorrow. Should that be confirmed I will move to York over Xmas and then move to White Rose in the new year. It's a career move, I cannot sit behind a desk, however, should this not come off, then I may have to for a bit longer.

learning_to_drive

It's a strange thing my condition, at the minute I feel ok, but I have a few issues on the money side of things, they are solvable though, but sadly Christmas is on it's way.

I have a lot to pay out, lot of gifts to buy for people, however I intend to start matched betting today, and also begin the bank charge reclamation!!

With that bank charge money, I intend to pay it off my credit card, but it depends on whether I get the money back, FD may just use it to pay off my overdraft, that will get paid off by my next payday but if it's sorted before then, they may just take it off my overdraft.

I feel better, I feel that a return to Sainsbury's is needed, even though it is a different store, It's still the job that I want to go back into until I decide what I want from life.

learning_to_drive

I'm having a particular low point, I think brought on by the fact that it's Saturday and soon it's Monday and I have to go back to work. It's strange, I've never dreaded work before, I don't know why I dread it coming.

Not heard owt from Sainsbury's yet, the problem is that If I were to take up the offer and White Rose comes off in the new year, what happens if that doesn't work out? What will I do then?

I just dont know what to do for the best anymore, it seems that no matter which way I turn, I could mess something else up. If I go to York and I'm the same again (the prospect of waking up dreading things etc) doesnt appeal. Then where do I go?

learning_to_drive

anyone?!?!

themaccas

Hi LtD
I'm not sure what you are asking here, - if this is whether you should go back to Sainsburys or go back to the IR job or neither. I think you have been given good advice but this is a decision no one can make for you. You will need to come to a decision yourself but you really need to ask yourself if you are really fit (emotionally) to work right now.....I do wish you well in whatever you choose to do.

learning_to_drive

I had a massive post about everything written, and Ive just closed the page!!!!

learning_to_drive

Nightmare! Ahh well,

I was just rambling, but I found it quite therupatic, I think my issue is linked around money and work, naturally we know that we must work to ensure that we can pay the bills. I never had a problem earning in the past, I never had the issue because I was a worker, very motivated and I earned a decent wage for doing a good days graft, not the best wage but I was happy.

However now, Its a struggle getting myself to work which concerns me, will I ever be debt free and out of my shambles of a financial situation, I admit that I have got myself into it, but we all sign loan agreements etc when we think times are good and we have never heard of stress or laugh about people who get stressed, Im always in control................... erm...... oops!

That snowballs nicely onto the taking time thing, I need some time, I want to just go an get signed off and start again in the new year, the problems with this are that my parents would go mad, its hard trying to explain what my problem is when even I dont know!! Not only that but i need to take the time so that i can get my head right, get on top of the finances with a proper plan, stop maxing my overdraft and start with the reclaiming bank charges thing and matched betting etc etc etc, but more importantly get my head right.

I just keep having a week off here and there before ploughing into more stress at a new job, be it FD, Tax etc. It's doing me over that I may never be able to move to a new job and cope, I'm 21, I wanted to be doing well for myself now, not have a bit of debt, constantly maxing my overdraft and never getting any money for anything. I have a credit card I want to pay off, I have a HP on a laptop I want to pay off, but I have real trouble getting to work on a morning, the mornings are terrible for me at the minute, really bad, I get up feeling full of dread and just so low, I have no idea why.

My mum thinks its cos of my g/f, she is away at Uni, she says I was never like this before i met her, rather simplistic, i wish it was that simple. Fact is if we broke up tomorrow, I would not be automatically back to how I was before all of this, it just wouldn't happen.

I need to find a reason why I am like this, was it the Dewsbury thing? Did that really knock me, because I had my life planned out, then it went wrong, was it the moves to FD and tax office too soon? Should I have waited at JS for a bit longer before I took the plunge? Is there another reason? Has my financial stress finally got to me? Am I burnt out after all the hours and not having a proper holiday in ages?

I went to magaluf but came home after 3 days, missed my g/f and generally didnt have a good time, was ill when I came home, tonsilitis and asthma was bad, couldnt sleep or eat or do anything. I came home on the Friday night, what did I do on Thursday of next week? Went to work at Dewsbury for 1.5 overtime, I had been doing 6 days a week at work for god knows how long, about 6 weeks. Then I had to housesit with my g/f before moving to Dewsbury, first day I got my car I had to go to Dewsbury to work. It just all got too much, then she had to go to Uni, shes my first big love, its hit a rocky time at the minute.

Its the money issue and the work issue, I need money to sort out my finances, I badly want to, but I cant get my head right to work, I want to badly, but I cant, I need time, but then I wouldnt get paid, I need to take stock, make some plans, where do I want to be in 1,2,5,10 months / years?

I need time, but as ive discussed above, its not that easy, there are other factors.

learning_to_drive

Strange thing, talking with my mates tonight, they had to dance around the issue about tablets, one mate said "uncle happy" are you still on them?

I was like, you what? "auntie" depressants he meant, I dont know, I just told him to talk about it freely, I had told them all for a reason!

My other mate just said that I have to look after number 1, so I've tried to go back to Sainsbury's, emailed a couple of people, and rung a couple of others, I need to go back to be happy in my work. I cannot be unhappy at work, I cant do it, I get to the stage where my problems all mount up and I just wont go!

Another mate said to me, is it just the tablets or are you still with your g/f? You havent spoke about her for ages, I had to confess that I hadn't and we had been having problems, interesting that my mate had picked up on it.

Then I was just on about money, how I never have any, but have to work to get some, but cant do work cos I hate it that much, really hate it, hate the culture, the desk job, the attitude everything, its everything I am against.

I just cannot see a way out of this mess, I mean, I need to get my debt down, I hate having no money all the time, and owing loads, my wage seems to go too quickly, admittedly having different jobs means I get paid at different times which doesnt help. I just want to get finances sorted, but I have to work to do that, but the work makes me ill / depressed.

I like to post on here, its therupatic, my book says that I should post all my feelings at the time then look back to see what I was thinking, its usually my thought process that runs away with itself that does me over, especially when Im low, it really does me over.

learning_to_drive

Quick update for y'all!

I feel a lot better, I believe that the tablets have started to kick in now, I'm still way off what I should be with regard to being motivated to do things out of work and sorting money things out, but I intend to tackle it at some stage.

I finish on 22nd December this year, and don't go back till the 2nd January, I have to book my holidays in between Xmas and New year but they said it will be fine, my new job is ok, it pays the bills.

I was motivated for a return to JS before Christmas, as many of you knew that was where I saw my future in the long term and I felt ready in myself to give it another go, I had a couple of old managers ring me and offer me a job.

I emailed my contact (but after turning them down a couple of weeks ago) they blocked any move and emailed the store saying not to employ me at all!

Strange stuff, I'm looking seriously at teaching once again now, but I realise that that is a long long term thing and something that I will have to dedicate myself to in terms of study and ambition.

anniestar

Just a small thought. Teaching is VERY VERY stressful, can often be dull,you have to "play by the rules" ie do all lesson plans on the correct pro forma(nightmare). Children can be very difficult and can sniff out any problems at 100miles!! If you are seriously thinking about teaching why not approach various schools and either volunteer (even a couple of weeks may be of help to you) or try for a job as a classroom assistant. Not quite what you want but perhaps better than making a huge mistake and deepining your debt(ie with a student loan) What age group were you thinking about? Do post an dlet us know. Whatever you decide good luck.