Stress / Anxiety - I need help!!

MinnieSpender

Well done!

And very good luck to you!

Tiff_2

learning_to_drive wrote:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=296115
Link to my thread, previous one that I wrote around 2 weeks ago or so.
I have started at FD, it's not for me at all, I have had some stress / anxiety issues in the past, and they have returned here at this job.
Basically, I worked at Sainsbury's for 4.5 years, grew up in the store, then I moved to Dewsbury, and that happened at the same time as a lot of other things, i.e. new car, g/f moving away etc, i became really stressed out and had anxiety all the time, worrying about things.
I've been at FD a week, and the same has happened again, the doctor couldn't believe that I had moved jobs so soon after what happened last time, and recommended that I go back to my old place of work (they did leave the offer open) until I am better, could be anything up to a year.
That means a lower income, that admittedly is the least of my worries, it sounds daft but I need to get myself better, because I am not looking at anything else, its strictly on a day by day basis.

I have no idea why I am putting this, maybe for a bit of support, so when I sort everything out, I can sort out my financial issues, I just feel really stressed / exhausted, I am on medication, but I need to get back within a comfortable surroundings until I am properly better.
I wasn't better when I moved, I thought i was, but I just came off my medication and didnt go back and see the doctor.
I'll keep updating this, it helps me, but I'm only 21 and I feel worried all the time, about everything, even strange things, I know the income will be a drop, but with good financial management I can be fine.
I dont like FD, its making me ill, stressed out again, I just need to sort myself out.
Anyone with offer of help, stories, please feel free to bring them to the table.
I'm not sure of the entire point of this thread, I just need some help really, Im sure people must have gone through a similar thing before.

Good mornning l-t-d!
Absolutely hun - many people have been in this situation.
These are all very high stress factors hun. Completely natural. You sound like a hard worker from your post and you should feel proud that at your young age, (no offence meant to you or anyone ), you are able to identify the problems you have & are trying to resolve them. Well done for that! Bizzylizzy said something that is a favourite saying of mine - be kind to yourself! You are taking one day at a time - that's good.
I justed wanted to say that as well as taking care of your financial situation, you must also look after your health - that is a priority, because if you can't work hun due to being poorly, you will a lot more stressed. So make sure you're doing the basics right - eating and sleeping as best you can. I was pleased to see that you were talking things over with your GP hun.
l-t-d, please don't ever stop a medication without consulting your dr angel. Sometimes we think we're better & come off them, but we are not very good at being objective when we're ill and any stopping should be supervised. it may have been the medication that was making you feel better, who
knows?
There is a thread on the Health Board called depression. Inspite of it's name, the thread discusses their experiences of all kinds, including anxiety and stress and panic attacks. It's very non-judgemental & although they can't advise you on medications/treatment, there's some very good advice to be had - including financial. It's amazing just how much debt or work problems affect your mental and physical health. I can guarantee you a welcome - friendly people, as on here, and great listeners. I just thought that you might want to look over there at some experiences of other people & stress & anxiety.
I'm also very sorry that your g/f is not filling the job description! What you need now is support. She needs to be put on a final written warning hun.;)
May I ask why you feel so strongly about leaving FD after a week hun? If you were getting help for the anxiety & stress, would you be able to enjoy that job ? Just something to think about. Hope it helps a little.
Best Wishes,
Tiff x

bizzylizzy

learning_to_drive wrote:

Good advice, guys, bless.

Went to see my old bakery manager tonight, hes a mate, so we went to the pub.

Told my folks, they dont agree but obviously support.

I'm going back to earn some cash to pay the bills, and a little bit more to enjoy myself, its not forever, and it wont make me ill.

Then i can concentrate on getting myself better through medication / seeing doctor / counselling (if appropriate) but I can be around friends at work and then focus on that, I dont need to learn anything new, i know the job inside out too.

Well done!! It sounds like you've made the right decision - for YOU! :j

loneranger

learning_to_drive wrote:

Good advice, guys, bless.

Went to see my old bakery manager tonight, hes a mate, so we went to the pub.

Told my folks, they dont agree but obviously support.

I'm going back to earn some cash to pay the bills, and a little bit more to enjoy myself, its not forever, and it wont make me ill.

Then i can concentrate on getting myself better through medication / seeing doctor / counselling (if appropriate) but I can be around friends at work and then focus on that, I dont need to learn anything new, i know the job inside out too.

Great idea, you will find that at the end of the day your gf and parents will support anything that makes you feel happy and well.You are a very sensible 21 year old,both my sons were disorganised (especially about money) and one even refused to work!!! at your age, now they are both settled in jobs they enjoy and starting to get things together. You are doing amazingly well and in taking a job in which you feel happy and confident,surrounded by good friends you are making the best decision. Throughout our lives we encounter many changes and trying to seek out the best and being a go getter can often leave you depressed if the results do not come up to your expected standard.Be happy in what you are doing and the rest happens.Also remember that if you sit on the train of life do not sit with your back to the engine--you will only be looking at where you have been, change seats and look at what is around you now and where you are going, you are young, it is all in front of you to be enjoyed!! Good luck.:beer:

learning_to_drive

Guys, just a quick note to say thank you, I am amazed by the level of support that I have received, it's quite emotional that the level of support that I have received is so high!

Superb, I will update later with the latest, and to answer any queries that have been posted.

I will then in good time look at the financial side of things, but that is a long way off, for me it's not that big an issue, just a case of reducing outgoings.

learning_to_drive

Oh !!!!!! it! I'll do it now, feel tonnes better, and had a decent nights sleep.

My g/f and I have hit a rough patch, it's not going well, again, I feel I need the comfort zone of work so that I can take my mind off all my problems and focus on the future.

I have set myself a year maximum to be back at my store, until I decide what I want to do, so I can be around friends. I need to earn money sadly, to pay my bills, I dont want the extra stress of having to learn a new job, meet new people and deal with the other stuff (travelling) whilst I have my personal problems (succeptible from anxiety / stress).

I don't think it's a step back, Ive got the job, Im jst waiting for the call to tell me where and when, the hours are available and everything like that.

The thing with FD is that I just dont want to do the job, I started for the money, but it's so wacky its almost forced, the job is mundane and after running departments and dealing with problems on the spot, Im now effectively a robot, its all big brother checking sign ons, we got told off for having 12 minutes for our break the other day instead of the 10!

I hate that regimented rubbish, retail, despite it being dire, !!!! poor and badly organised, there is something about the job that I enjoy. It's not forever, Ive got to stop looking for a career and purely focus on getting myself better. I know the job and the people inside out, so thats one less worry off my mind whilst I deal with other problems such as debts (potentially), g/f, getting better etc..

I also have the chance to go to ASDA, if I chose to, I have a selection thing on Weds, Im going to go, but JS have been really good to me, I can just resume my service as If I had never left.

With FD again, i'm a believer in not wasting my time, whats the point of going in on Monday If i have no intention of joining? Wasting petrol and putting myself at risk of more stress? I'm going to ring and inform them that I'm taking a week off on doctor's advice, I will then be in touch on Friday to inform them what doctor says when I go to see her, by then I will have a new job.

It's a big relief, I can sort myself out this week, sort out ebaying all my things, sort out what will happen with g/f, as i've said, its a rough time, I hope we will be ok, but I dont know.

I hope everyone keeps posting, I will certainly look at the board that was mentioned at the top, and thanks again,the support I've had has been overwhelming!!

sophiesmum_2

Hi LTD

Glad to see you are feeling more positive this morning and not so anxious about things.
You have made some good decisions that are right for YOU. Your health is the most important thing, anything else can wait.
Hope you can sort things out with the g/f. If you need it there is always support available on this site, there are some great folks on here.
Good Luck

sophiesmum

Tiff_2

Hi l-t-d
Well done hun. You sound like a tonne has been lifted off your shulders already! Good luck hun.
Much love
Tiff x

learning_to_drive

Should find out everything tomorrow, where I am working, which department, plus must ring FD and tell them I wont be in for the rest of the week on doctor's orders.

I will ring them once my new job is confirmed, then I can begin to look at the financial side, I can easily sort out my finances out, just with help from you guys, and a practical look at my finances. Plus, claiming back my bank charges, the FD guys have a whammy of losing me (job not right etc) then having my money claimed off them!

In fairness, the FD £500 overdraft is causing me more problems than its solving at the minute,.

learning_to_drive

Morning folks, secured a week off, in fairness to them (FD) they have always been understanding, I didn't mention anything about my preference to return to JS or anything, just said I would ring back on Friday after I have been to my doctor again.

With regard to the bank charge thing, that's definitely the right way to go, get my money back, and then get another account (Natwest) and bank from there, nothing against FD, £500 overdraft I just simply max every month and I will have to have a couple of months worth of strangulation with finances in order to get myself back on track.

I think that would be an underlying stress issue out of the way, I feel guilty because even at Sainsbury's I earnt a decent wage, it was just down to poor financial management that I was unable to do anything with it. Another reason that I have looked at, is that whilst the people are FD are lovely, sadly the job isn't for me, then i get frustrated, and away we go again. As I've said and someone else said, i'm a go getter, I get wound up and tense if I'm sat at a desk. Whilst Sainsburys had its problems, at least i was an active job that hand on heart I actually did enjoy.

With regards to my new bank account, would it be best to open it straight away? before I begin the reclamation of my bank charges? I've read that some people struggle to open new accounts when they begin to claim back charges.

On the budgeting side of things, my idea is brilliant (given to me by a friend) that you have two bank accounts, one that has wage paid in, and another that has all the outgoings (Direct Debits et al) that has a small overdraft (£100 - £200) if for example higher than expected mobile bill. Then simply transfer the set amount to cover direct debits via standing order.

The money then left in the wage account is the sum of money left for the month, simply divide that by 4 and you have your weekly budget!

Obviously, (and i can feel my problems decreasing) there are many other (easier) ways to earn cash, for example, I was looking at getting a second job, but after what I have been through (again, recently) I don't think that is the best move for me. So as a result I'm spending more and more time on here, looking at matched betting, quidco and other easier ways to make money.

Just to prove that every cloud truly does have a silver lining, I've been blowing massive amounts on mobile bills recently, literally, (I have 2, long story, 1 going in Jan, other in March) £100 + most months. I have cut back on bundles and other things, bill from Orange - £33.49 - the lowest in literally ages.

However my carphone warehouse contract may be a bit high as I've used it quite a lot recently It's standing at £46 before VAT I'll stop using that sim now and move back to my Orange one that has been recharged with the free texts and minutes.

As my dear mother said to me, all these people that have high powered jobs and big cars and houses. They may not be on here discussing which brand of budget beans to buy and how many ways in which you can use them, but, how stressed are they? They end up spending most of their wages on creche / nursery fees and never see their kids. Whilst most of us here may not have much money, debt, and struggle occasionally, but at least we are happy and at least our kids (I dont have any...yet) will grow up to realise the value of money.

As a famous philosopher once said - "No one will ever die wishing they had spent more time at the office"