Stress / Anxiety - I need help!!

learning_to_drive

Slight update, JS are letting me know tomorrow with regard to which specific post I could be filling, however, the tax office have offered me a job!!

Tax office is very close to my house, less travelling, plus its a decent move for me, allows me to see if i can really live without Sainsbury's.

Tiff_2

learning_to_drive wrote:

Slight update, JS are letting me know tomorrow with regard to which specific post I could be filling, however, the tax office have offered me a job!!

Tax office is very close to my house, less travelling, plus its a decent move for me, allows me to see if i can really live without Sainsbury's.

Hi l-t-d !
It certainly sounds like a better option to you from the tone of your post, especially as you don't know if you'll be shelf-stacking with JS, bless them. The only caution I'd add is that maybe JS won't offer again if tax place doesn't work out either. But to balance it out, job offers don't seem to be a problem for you and there is life after JS! :rolleyes: I loved working for them. However there is nothing wrong in taking an opportunity to broaden your skills, experience and options. Good luck.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

pickle

It's awful having anxiety. I think that being in a call centre would have to be one of the most stressful jobs going. I think at 21 you shouldn't be too concerned about going back to a job you feel comfortable in and I think that only YOU can make the best decision for yourself not anyone else. As long as the doctor thinks its for the best. The way you feel probably won't last forever so view it as a temporary phase which will be resolved, you're only young and when we're young life is difficult to work out and to set up something which works. You're far more sophisticated with your money spending than I was at 21. Who doesn't blow a bit of money at that age? Just keep plugging away at the debt as best you can. That's all you can do really and I'd regard the foray into the call centre business a mistake (and we all make them) and look at something else eventually.

Just read the above post - the tax office job sounds much more promising. Maybe you could give it a go and ask your friend at the bakery if you could take a rain cheque just in case. It sounds like they're on your side and quite supportive. The tax office job would be much less stressful than the call centre job I would imagine and to be honest you write very well so I would think it would suit your abilities better. Good luck with it all.

learning_to_drive

Cheers again guys, honestly I find this forum really good therapy to talk about problems with other like minded people.

My finances aren't that bad, I would just absolutely love to manage them better (wouldnt we all) I just feel that is the issue for me. As has been said job offers / employment isn't an issue, I think to an extent I panic myself, imagine being a "big hitter" with Sainsbury's, succesfully turning around 2 departments, telling everyone about it, working your nuts off, stable job for 4.5 years, having your career mapped out. Then for one reason or another it all goes wrong, issues out of work prevented management.

Then you sort of think, well, where is there to go after this? As a result bouncing from job to job, that's why I intend to get it 110% right with work, I know I enjoy work, if it's a job that I will enjoy. I've always been a worker, hours galore and overtime etc, so for that reason, its why I wont pay lip service to FD it's not something that I want to do, so whats the point in travelling 12 miles there and back to do something that I have no intention of doing?

To put it into context, the reason I am struggling with change is because I have grown up in Sainsburys, developed as a person, had my social life there, got a lot of friends there, done 4 and a half years which for a student is a lot.
The travellling is the main issue with any job, this was my travelling (theaa.com)

Home > JS Bradford - 0.4 miles, (literally 1 minute away on foot, I could get up at 09:45 and be in work for 09:55)

Then I got a promotion, just passed my test, g/f went away, basically all the lifes stresses at once, I moved to Dewsbury:

Home > JS Dewsbury - 12.5 miles each way - Add your traffic in there too.

Then I said I was struggling at JS, with the new job etc, I asked if I could move closer to home because of the travelling. Instead of the HRP (HR woman, her job is to speak with people) coming to see me, she didnt even speak to me on the phone, just said I would be going to Selby Road

Home > Selby Rd JS - 11.2 miles

I said no way, so moved back to my home store whilst I got my head together, basically disgusted at the lack of support. I then applied for tons of jobs, tons of interviews (tax office etc) and was succesful at FD, I must admit I had doubts but because they had been good to me I thought I would give it a go, sadly it wasn't to be, and once again, the travelling got to me.

Home > Stourton FD - 11.7 miles each way, + traffic (terrible)

Admittedly, I jumped into the FD move, really didnt think things through, its not for me with my background, plus as the guy at Natwest said (interview again!) I would be on the phones for quite some time before I got anywhere near a promotion.

So here we are, if JS wanted me back, as a CTS (s'visor) I basically went in and demanded that I should be given that with previous track record, new gaffer seemed very impressed, but they didn't make a decision on the spot, which disappoints me as there is a job available at the minute that I could do really well in, everyone in the store says it needs someone like me to go in there with a strong mentality and sort things out.

The Tax Office job is good, near my mates (work down road) and I have some people who work there who I know,

Home > Tax Office Shipley - 3.5 miles - On Bus Route too!

Whilst I was earning a lot more with FD, JS with the moves, I was actually losing out because of my higher petrol costs, I do feel that there is an element of risk involved in the tax office thing (contract til March) but that's because they cannot gaurantee that there will be an extension, its been extended 4 times now, and with April being end of the year, I cant see them getting rid of everyone so close to that deadline.

My plan is to go in and make a damn good go of it, its a good career move, and I need to get focused, I hope that my problems wont repeat themselves again, in theory there is no reason why they should. I just have to keep on my medication and go from there.

learning_to_drive

Went off at a tangent there, with my finances, I just end up with no money at the end of the month, or maxing out my FD overdraft again, once I claim the bank charges back and open my Natwest account (£200 odraft) that will mean I have to spend better otherwise I will be out of money completely.

It's just poor financial management, budgeting et al.

bugbabe

stress and aniexty is awful i use to have terrible panic attacks till i learnt to cope with them, a good tip is try to remeber how you feel when you first wake up in the morning before you start to worry

learning_to_drive

Talk about full circle, HMRC just rung me, £14,631 assistant officer job, the one i originally went for I have just got!

Just rung me now, it has only just come up, so I must have been at the top of their list!

Im well chuffed Amazing how things pan out, everyone out there, just remember, the light at the end of the tunnel is there!

learning_to_drive

So yeah, that is decided, I start on the 4th December, so I have this week and the weekend to get myself right, I think I will be ok, I certainly hope so, I'll keep taking my medication and hopefully things will fall into place.

I know how bad I can get when I get stressed, I just have to keep taking my medication and beat it!

I'll chill out and enjoy the rest of my week off and the weekend then I'll go in Monday ready for the new job and place. I'm sure I will be fine!!

Today, I'm aiming to start looking at finances, I haven't gone into too much detail, I'm opening an account with Natwest Bank which will become my main account with salary / DD to be paid in and out of there, this will then allow me to be free of the shackles of the FD £500 overdraft.

The only issue is transferring the DD over, should I do it as they have been paid for the month? Then I don't miss any payments, plus Christmas will be strange as I have a bit of pay from Sainsbury's, a bit from FD and then a bit from Tax Office.

Once I have a new slate to start with, I wont max out the £500 overdraft and be constantly left without any money, I can pay back the overdraft that I owe £100 a month till it is paid off.

Of course I am claiming back my bank charges from FD, which they treat more as a fines system, not realising that a £60 overdraft charge, then snowballed into a £100 one, and then they wonder why I kept going over the limit all the time.

Plus I'm having a look at Quidco, matched betting and other things, I earn a decent wage, there is no excuse for my poor management of finances.

learning_to_drive

Hi all, had my belated birthday night out last night, tonnes of drinks bought for me, woke up a bit ill today (anti depressants and drink dont mix that well, I took it steady so wasnt that bad today).

Got paid from FD (£500!!!!) had to ring to see if that was correct, it seemed a lot for just over a week's work! They said they would ring me back and let me know, last thing i wanted to do was chuck it all on debts / presents before realising that I wasn't actually supposed to have been paid that much!

Will really help with debts if it's correct though, again it's a case of luck with it being so close to Christmas. I set up my new natwest account yesterday, £150 overdraft only, they offered me £500 but I dont need that much, its madness. So once that Is sorted I will migrate everything across and start again.

Plus Im starting the bank claim tomorrow too, should be owed around £400 - £500 from FD, if they close my account or not, I'm still closing my account with them, fresh start an all that!!

I hope everyone is ok! Please post messages of support, or questions or anything really, its all appreciated!

mrslawrence2003

learning_to_drive wrote:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=296115

Link to my thread, previous one that I wrote around 2 weeks ago or so.

I have started at FD, it's not for me at all, I have had some stress / anxiety issues in the past, and they have returned here at this job.

Basically, I worked at Sainsbury's for 4.5 years, grew up in the store, then I moved to Dewsbury, and that happened at the same time as a lot of other things, i.e. new car, g/f moving away etc, i became really stressed out and had anxiety all the time, worrying about things.

I've been at FD a week, and the same has happened again, the doctor couldn't believe that I had moved jobs so soon after what happened last time, and recommended that I go back to my old place of work (they did leave the offer open) until I am better, could be anything up to a year.

That means a lower income, that admittedly is the least of my worries, it sounds daft but I need to get myself better, because I am not looking at anything else, its strictly on a day by day basis.

I have no idea why I am putting this, maybe for a bit of support, so when I sort everything out, I can sort out my financial issues, I just feel really stressed / exhausted, I am on medication, but I need to get back within a comfortable surroundings until I am properly better.

I wasn't better when I moved, I thought i was, but I just came off my medication and didnt go back and see the doctor.

I'll keep updating this, it helps me, but I'm only 21 and I feel worried all the time, about everything, even strange things, I know the income will be a drop, but with good financial management I can be fine.

I dont like FD, its making me ill, stressed out again, I just need to sort myself out.

Anyone with offer of help, stories, please feel free to bring them to the table.

I'm not sure of the entire point of this thread, I just need some help really, Im sure people must have gone through a similar thing before.

welcome to my world!

firstly - you are not alone. i have gone through this before and i am almost out the other side. i have had many hours panicking about anything and everything that in my more rational moments ican see is absolutely ridiculous.

as regards your medication - perhaps you have come off them too quickly? perhaps it would be worth considering going back on them until you have better learnt to manage your anxiety.

secondly - i strongly recommend your ask your doctor to refer you to counselling and / or cognitive behavioural therapy.

thirdly - something else that might help you is hypnotherapy.

as regards your job - if you are not ready to do it then pls dont force yourself. you cannot rush your recovery - you will improve in time but if you push yourself too fast then you will only end up going backwards.

pm me if u want a chat.

xx