Paying 'keep' HELP!!!

onlyroz

Fletchasketch wrote: »

I'm currently renting and paying over and above what the Landlord's mortgage payments are as I'm sure an awful lot of people are also doing.

The landlord will have costs over and above the mortgage (e.g. service charge for a leasehold property, insurance, maintenance etc). I was a landlady for 6 whole months - but I got out because it was far too stressful (student tenants who were always late with the rent).

Anyway, this is all irrelevant to this thread, which was almost certainly started by a troll. If the OP is genuine then I seriously pity her.

[Deleted User]

Sweetheart wrote: »

I'm 23 years old and working. My mum (a single parent) was made redundant from a good job in November and now, three months on she said that she can no longer afford to subsidise me and my brother and we must pay our proper share of all the bills/mortgage/council tax. (I'm 23 he is 21)

She says that with part of the mortgage included all utility bills are £1200 month -so expects me to pay £100 a week. (£1200 divided by three)

I've refused to pay as its way too much. I've discussed this with my friends and all of them say she is trying to scam me and that I could get a place of my own for less than that.

She says if I wont pay - I have to move out as she will put a lodger in my room.

Why should I pay this much? Its so unfair. I told her that I wasnt going to pay. She may not care about my future but I do! I'm saving up for my future

Also I absolutely object to paying toward HER mortgage!! Why should she profit out of me??

I told her I didnt believe that the bills were so high and demanded she give me copies. She said it was degrading to have to send me the bills and make a budget for my inspection but I think its because she is scamming me. She did send me it though.

I am refusing to pay any more than £50 a week. My brother is, looking for a job and earns £65 a week in his part time job, and my Mum is not entitled to benefits as she was paid redundancy.

So her current income is £200 a month plus £120 from my brother and she should be getting more from him not me.

Can you please give your opinion so I can show this to her to demonstrate how unfair she is being. I'm only 23 and trying to save up to move out but she wants me to go now as he cant afford to keep me. This makes me so angry as I'm hardly ever here

Hi Sweetheart
A few things I picked up from your 1st post.
1. Your Mum has been made redundant and is not earning anything at the moment YOU are the main breadwinner in the household.
2. Your brother at the moment is only eraning £65 a week that is roughly £280 per 4 weeks ( How is he supposed to help out with £400 a month when he doesn't even earn that much?)
3. I have always payed bout 1/4 of my pay from when I was at school and even now, so no £400 is not alot for your mum to be asking of you.

I earn a similar wage to you. I am saving for my own house but I have lived away from home in the past. If it came to me needing to help out by paying more to stay in my home I would be very willing.

Like others have said, take your friend up on her offer of her flat and see how hard it is.
Good luck with whatever you decide
P
X

diddyangel

You need to grow up and help your mum keep a roof over your heads. You've had 23 years of living off your mums money and now shes hit hard times you'd rather call her a scammer than put your hand in your pocket and do the right thing. I'd be disgusted with your attitude if you were my daughter!!

I'm not much older than you and I moved out of home at 17, bought my first house at 19 and by the time I was your age my bills (excluding food and petrol) came to over £1100 a month.... you really need to grow up. If you really think you can live elsewhere for less than £100 a week move out and let your mum get a lodger who is prepared to pay the going rate and who will allow her to keep the family home.

She has fed and clothed you, shes provided a warm home and a bed for you to sleep in for 23 years - how much do you think it has cost her over your lifetime? How much has she sacrificed over those years so that you could have that must have new mobile, the new dress you need for Saturday night or the shoes you really need? I'm sure your mumhas always seen you alright, its time to return the favour and help her out.

You need a wake up call and I hope your mum kicks your selfish a$$ out. Maybe once you're out on your own you'll realise just how hard your mum has worked over the years.

phunkles

Well that passed some time LOL
Well done OP your definately a troll with 3rd class honours

And for reference if op is not a troll you can rent my ohs spare room out for 600 a month in London - except he wont do your laundry and theres never any food in the cupboards, but that does include gas/electricity/water/tv license/sky/broadband/house insurance/council tax/ etc infact because its you op you can have it for £450 how about that???

twinkletwinkles

Hi Sweetheart,
Firstly I must say i feel so sad that you think so little of your mum that you are unwilling to help her out in such desperate times.

Times are becoming more difficult for most families losing jobs,prices going up,benifits being cut etc. if we cannot turn to our close famliy members when things are desperate then what terrible shame.

I am sure your mum has had many sleepless nights through worrying about the bills,and i would bet 10 to a penny many tears have fallen in the process.

I also know how difficult it must of been for your mum to swollow her pride to ask you for extra help with the bills and most likely feeling guilty too for doing so.
I know all this because i am in the same situation as your mum and i also have a 23 year old daughter who lives with me with her own daughter who is 3 years old. but the difference is my daughter offers help and i don't need to ask.

Last year my daughter took my bank card from me without me knowing and deposited £1,000
into my account she told me later that evening what she had done.
She told me to buy a new washing machine as my old one had broken down and she said keep the rest for bills.

A day does not go buy without me wishing or hoping i could pay her back every penny
as it make me feel so guilty as i feel that money could have been spent on her own daughter
but when i say this to her she tells me off. she just wanted me to stop worrying and to stop my tears from falling.

I'm sure your mum has never turned her back on you,
The best thing you can do right now is go to your mum thank her
for everything she has done for you, then give her a big cuddle, then tell her how much you love her, and apologise to her for being so unsurportive and that you are now willing to help her out.

It's a sink or swim situation for your mum so throw her a life jacket, your mum
needs all the help she can get right now.

Pollycat

margaretclare wrote: »

I have 2 granddaughters. The eldest works for the local authority as a youth worker. She lives in a one-bed council flat. I think her income is about the same as the OP, but from that income she has deductions of pension, rent and council tax. She then has food, heating, water etc to pay for. She doesn't have much left at the end of the month! I think her only real 'non-essential' is her Staffie pet, and she values him because it's a fairly rough area. She was unemployed and homeless a few years ago and everything she has now, she values greatly, because she knows what the alternative is.

The other one, who's about the OP's age, works part-time as a picker for internet grocery orders at a big supermarket 'home shopping centre'. Even though she's part-time she still pays towards living at home. She has managed to save up and buy a car and is about to take her driving test - this will save her a lot because up to now she's been using taxis to get to work for 5 am.

margaretclare
and that's why your grandaughters will probably have a far better life that 'Sweetheart'.

OK, they might not have that University education, they might not ever earn as much as she does - but even now they have an understanding of life and the value of money.
And that's something that 'Sweetheart' doesn't have - and probably never will have.

Your granddaughters sound nice girls.
And that's something you can't say about 'Sweetheart' - and probably never will be able to say.

I'm sure their parents are proud of them.
And that's something 'Sweetheart's' Mum probably isn't right at this time - and she may never be able to be proud of her eldest child, unless said 'child' changes her attitude big-time.

Pollycat

twinkletwinkles wrote: »

Hi Sweetheart,
Firstly I must say i feel so sad that you think so little of your mum that you are unwilling to help her out in such desperate times.

Times are becoming more difficult for most families losing jobs,prices going up,benifits being cut etc. if we cannot turn to our close famliy members when things are desperate then what terrible shame.

I am sure your mum has had many sleepless nights through worrying about the bills,and i would bet 10 to a penny many tears have fallen in the process.

I also know how difficult it must of been for your mum to swollow her pride to ask you for extra help with the bills and most likely feeling guilty too for doing so.
I know all this because i am in the same situation as your mum and i also have a 23 year old daughter who lives with me with her own daughter who is 3 years old. but the difference is my daughter offers help and i don't need to ask.

Last year my daughter took my bank card from me without me knowing and deposited £1,000
into my account she told me later that evening what she had done.
She told me to buy a new washing machine as my old one had broken down and she said keep the rest for bills.

A day does not go buy without me wishing or hoping i could pay her back every penny
as it make me feel so guilty as i feel that money could have been spent on her own daughter
but when i say this to her she tells me off. she just wanted me to stop worrying and to stop my tears from falling.

I'm sure your mum has never turned her back on you,
The best thing you can do right now is go to your mum thank her
for everything she has done for you, then give her a big cuddle, then tell her how much you love her, and apologise to her for being so unsurportive and that you are now willing to help her out.

It's a sink or swim situation for your mum so throw her a life jacket, your mum
needs all the help she can get right now.

Twinkletoes
if 'Sweetheart's Mum is reading this now, I'm sure she would feel saddened at the staggering difference in the attitude of 2 girls of the same age and in almost identical circumstances.

I'm sure she'd be really envious at the way YOUR daughter has stepped up to the mark (she sounds very generous, BTW) but HER daughter is bleating on a public forum about how hard-done-to she is.

Lucy1973

I think she hasn't come back because she must have died of shame....I know I would have done. Silly,SILLY girl:mad:

newcook

Grrrrrrr! I was in a nice chilled mood before I read this thread!!

OP – you need to get a grip! This whole whining ‘its not fair’ just screams child to me – I can nearly hear you stamping your feet! You ear £1200 per month and you are moaning at giving your mom £100 per week and your brother earns £260 per month yet pays £140 – your damn right its not fair, you should pay a similar % as your brother so about £650 should cover it!

If you begrudge paying the woman who has brought you up, clothed you, fed you, supported you, put up with your tantrums and kept a roof over your head the do her a favour and move out.

I cant believe you have the audacity to come on here expecting people to agree with you that your mom is charging you too much – I think the general opinion is if you don’t like it then move!
Have a look around the site and you will see most parents on here ask what they should charge their adult working child for rent – 99% of the time it’s a third of the takehome with another third going into savings and the final third for personal spends.

SmlSave

I'm sorry but the OP is a horrible, horrible person.

I only earn £1,200 a month as I've only just stated out in my career

!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm 26, own my own house and have a baby on the way and I only bring in £1000 a month. When I lived at home my Mum got 10% of my wage packet.

You are someone who deserves nothing OP, urgh I can't believe there are such nasty selfish mean people out there.