Paying 'keep' HELP!!!

minerva_windsong

MrsDavo wrote: »

Okay so is this you feeling hard done by because your mum can't pay her own bills so is asking you to help MORE than you were doing before she was made redundant?

From the post you quoted, I'm inclined to think it's more that Sweetheart feels she should pay the same as her brother, despite the fact he's earning less and what he's happily paying is a bigger proportion of his income. He may well be looking for a 'proper' (which I take in this instance to mean full time) job, and when he gets it I'm willing to bet his mum will ask him to pay more and he'll happily do so.

In response to the original post, I'm 23 and have been living at home for almost two years since finishing university. Whilst my parents are financially comfortable and have never asked me for money towards keep, I would happily pay them rent in a heartbeat whether they were in dire financial straits or not if they asked me to. I earn less than £1,200 a month (a lot less as it happens) but I would still be able to pay what the OP's mum is asking for, save some money for moving out and afford the occasional treat.

I'm about to move to London, into a two bed flat with my OH and his housemate in an area that's not fantastic, and this is what I'll be paying a month:

Rent - £400
Council tax - £30
Water - £7
Gas and electricity (dual fuel) - £20
TV licence - £4
Internet - £2.50
Phone line - £4
Home insurance - £7 (and that's just for contents which your mum's buildings and contents insurance should cover for everyone living there)

Everything is split three ways so if one of us was on our own there they would be covering the cost to the tune of £1500 a month, which is less than the OP's mum is paying to keep a roof over her and her children's heads, keep them all fed and watered and warm, and pay what might be seen as her 'personal' bills like car insurance. (My figures are before mobile phone bills, nights out, shopping trips, coffees etc for fairness purposes.)

I think your mum is being very generous and you should pay her what she's asking.

Fletchasketch

onlyroz wrote: »

The landlord will have costs over and above the mortgage (e.g. service charge for a leasehold property, insurance, maintenance etc). I was a landlady for 6 whole months - but I got out because it was far too stressful (student tenants who were always late with the rent).

I know, and I don't resent paying what I do as he is a great landlord, nothing is too much trouble for him and he spends a great deal of money on maintaining the property (as I expect the OP's Mum has to) Mind you we do always pay the rent on time ;-)

margaretclare

Pollycat wrote: »

margaretclare
and that's why your grandaughters will probably have a far better life that 'Sweetheart'.

OK, they might not have that University education, they might not ever earn as much as she does - but even now they have an understanding of life and the value of money.
And that's something that 'Sweetheart' doesn't have - and probably never will have.

Your granddaughters sound nice girls.
And that's something you can't say about 'Sweetheart' - and probably never will be able to say.

I'm sure their parents are proud of them.
And that's something 'Sweetheart's' Mum probably isn't right at this time - and she may never be able to be proud of her eldest child, unless said 'child' changes her attitude big-time.

Thank you, Pollycat.

My eldest GD has had a lot of difficulties to face, dyslexia, being gay, a serious knee injury which stopped her going in the Navy....the younger one has always said she did not want to go to uni. She wanted a career in the travel industry, but unfortunately that was hit by the recession. She's worked in the home shopping centre for about 18 months now and enjoys what she does, the people she works with etc. Both of them are adult instructors in the Sea Cadets, the third generation of our family to do that. They put a lot back into the world and yes, I'm proud of them.

DH's 2 GDs have a bit more of a privileged education, public school! But they're well aware of the nitty-gritty of life. Their school does a lot of fund-raising for charity and that keeps their feet on the ground.

rozmister

You're severely deluded if you think you could live comfortably for £400 a month to cover all your basic outgoings.

I pay £275 rent, £25 council tax (just gone down thank god!!), £60 a month bills and £100 a month on food (at least). So it costs me £460 a month to live independently and I earn NOWHERE near what you earn. I earn £100 a week from my main 40 hr internship (that's necessary for my degree), £200 a month from my poor mum and £300 a month from my second p/t job. I live in the worst part of town near drug dealers and junkies where you find needles in the street and the alley behind my house AND I don't live in London.

You have no idea how lucky you are. If I went to live with my Mum after I graduated and she couldn't afford to pay her own mortgage I would go out of my way to help her out with it on top of paying my share of bills and her mortgage gladly. The moment I graduate she won't pay a penny towards me and I wouldn't have it any other way!!

You only have one Mum who has brought you up from a baby, wiped away your tears, watched your first steps, listened to you scream in a teenage tantrum, tidied up after you, cooked your meals, cared for you when you were sick. If you don't want to help her out when the going gets tough I think it's a real shame she ended up with you; a terrible unsupportive daughter.

julie03

sweetheart- do you actually love and care for your mum? your mum has lost her job and she needs help her outgoings are not that high, for a three bed in london it sounds about right.

when i was 19 and living at home i gave my parents £10 per wk, my dad died and my mum couldnt survive on one income so we upped our "keep", we never even queried it , if we wanted a roof over our heads we had to help, we were a family, a unit and therefore help eachother, still do.

flippin36

I can't bellieve this thread is still going....

digitalphase

Neither can I. The thread is obviously a wind up. Some people are getting really angry. People - it's not REAL.

RacyRed

Wind up or not, if you google "paying keep" this thread is right up there.

Someone somewhere might learn from it.

Pollycat

I wonder if 'Sweetheart' Troll has got what he/she wanted out of this thread.

I must admit that I've based the tone of my replies on the premise that 'Swetheart' was a troll. :cool:

Vaila

Im surprised this thread is still going!I myself am 19 and would never dream of having such a selfish attitude to my parents.The OP earns a decent wage (Some people need to support families sand households on less than that,so it is decent!),so they are being extremely selfish as they can afford to pay council tax,their own bills (maybe OP should work out exactly how much on an individual basis their electricity,gas etc costs)

Anyway,Im struggling to believe the OP has managed to get through University with such a naive attitude to finances,but if all goes well they will utilise this website to its potential and educate themselves a bit more.Or the mother will chuck their ungrateful daughter out and not have to stress so much before they manage to find a new job.