The Great Stripper Issue

C_Mababejive

Better make sure he isnt going here...

http://www.bigsisterlive.com/free/

Gavin83

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I can see that some people understand this way of thinking completely and others just don't get it. It has nothing to do with control, permission and not trusting one's partner to remain faithful, but more about the core values as to who they are and them being this person through their actions.

Is it because you feel it's degrading to women, because you don't want your partner seeing another woman naked or something else entirely?

I do fully respect that some women aren't comfortable with this which is fair enough. If the guy wants to go that much he should find himself a new partner who is more open to this kind of thing.

[Deleted User]

The thing that I never understand about stag and hens dos which involve strippers etc is that it is such an inappropriate way to celebrate the fact that people are going to get married.

Marriage is probably the biggest commitment in most people lives to show you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them...and then people celebrate this fact by having some stranger give them a lap dance, by watching a sex show, by hiring a naked butler etc. Not the best way to start a marriage really is it? Before the ring is even on the finger people are paying for some sexually orientated thrill. " Do you take this woman / man to be your lawful wedding wife / husband?" "I do... as long as I can have the occasional lap dance / naked butler". The whole idea of what happens on the hen / stag night is never told and doesn't count means that the marriage is already starting off with secrets and lies. If people see their stag / hen night as their last night of freedom then they probably are not the best candidates for getting married.

POPPYOSCAR

Gavin83 wrote: »

Is it because you feel it's degrading to women, because you don't want your partner seeing another woman naked or something else entirely?

I do fully respect that some women aren't comfortable with this which is fair enough. If the guy wants to go that much he should find himself a new partner who is more open to this kind of thing.

For me personally, It is just not my sort of thing and yes I suppose I do think it degrades women. I have no problem with nudity.( I often walk around the house naked much to the disgust of my teenage children!!!)
And I find the nudist beaches quite amusing.

[Deleted User]

Gavin83 wrote: »

Is it because you feel it's degrading to women, because you don't want your partner seeing another woman naked or something else entirely?

I do fully respect that some women aren't comfortable with this which is fair enough. If the guy wants to go that much he should find himself a new partner who is more open to this kind of thing.

Why would any woman want their partner to get a sexual thrill from seeing another woman naked? It is not the nudity in particular it is the setting that it the problem. Seeing other women on a beach topless is not big deal, but having someone specifically go to a place to see women naked for sexual titulation is different.

- Would a woman feel better about herself when her partner is going to see other women naked for a sexual thrill? Even if that woman has no hang-ups.

- Is it going to make a woman respect and like her partner more because of the fact that he visits such places? I doubt it.

- Is it going to increase the bond between the couple? Unlikely.

Marriages and relationships are so difficult. Lack of time, money worries, job troubles, children, ageing parents etc all make it hard to even find time to be with each other. I fail to see how one person attending such events is going to help any relationship.

I am not a prude and I have been to a strip club. I felt very sorry for the woman on the stage as should looked so bored as she was jeered at by a baying crowd of drunken men (it was not a classy place). In fact she looked as though she was trying to work out what she needed to buy from Tesco that evening. I also used to live in a country with a red light district. Any visitors, including the in-laws got a tour.

Anyone who visits such a place as a strip club is objectifying women. I doubt very much that any bloke looking at a naked woman is thinking "she looks lovely. I bet she is into gardening. I might ask her about my roses later on". I suspect the thoughts are more like "get your t1ts out love". Doesn't really make that man more attractive to their partner to be honest. Treating anyone with such a lack of respect is not an attractive quality.

I am not saying that you have to be a saint in a marriage, of course people see others they fancy and it would not be normal if you didn't. However, seeking out such thrills in a relationship, unless both partners wholeheartly agree if unfair. As you suggest if people (men or women) want that sort of lifestyle then they need to find another relationship.

The other issue is where does an activiy become OK and when it is overstepping the mark? Take lapdancing for instance. I image most people would think it would OK to have a lapdance in front of a crowd. How about going into a club on your own and having a private dance? Is there any difference paying for a dance or getting one for free? How about if the person getting the dance and their other half knew the stripper would the lapdance still be acceptable? There are some many difficulties and emotions involved in such a situation that it would be easy to cause offence and spoil the relationship..all for a single night of sexual titulation. Very sad. No one should be subjected to another persons wishes, but people also have to consider others feelings.

If my husband wanted to go to a strip club then fine, but I would not be thrilled about it. However, a lap dance would be out of the question. If he wants someone then he made a committment to me just as I did to him. I would hope that he would respect me enough to honour that. However, if he really wanted to go then I would not stop him, but I also wouldn't be there when he came home.

Wow that was a long waffle! :rotfl:

POPPYOSCAR

Spider_In_The_Bath wrote: »

Why would any woman want their partner to get a sexual thrill from seeing another woman naked? It is not the nudity in particular it is the setting that it the problem. Seeing other women on a beach topless is not big deal, but having someone specifically go to a place to see women naked for sexual titulation is different.

- Would a woman feel better about herself when her partner is going to see other women naked for a sexual thrill? Even if that woman has no hang-ups.

- Is it going to make a woman respect and like her partner more because of the fact that he visits such places? I doubt it.

- Is it going to increase the bond between the couple? Unlikely.

Marriages and relationships are so difficult. Lack of time, money worries, job troubles, children, ageing parents etc all make it hard to even find time to be with each other. I fail to see how one person attending such events is going to help any relationship.

I am not a prude and I have been to a strip club. I felt very sorry for the woman on the stage as should looked so bored as she was jeered at by a baying crowd of drunken men (it was not a classy place). In fact she looked as though she was trying to work out what she needed to buy from Tesco that evening. I also used to live in a country with a red light district. Any visitors, including the in-laws got a tour.

Anyone who visits such a place as a strip club is objectifying women. I doubt very much that any bloke looking at a naked woman is thinking "she looks lovely. I bet she is into gardening. I might ask her about my roses later on". I suspect the thoughts are more like "get your t1ts out love". Doesn't really make that man more attractive to their partner to be honest. Treating anyone with such a lack of respect is not an attractive quality.

I am not saying that you have to be a saint in a marriage, of course people see others they fancy and it would not be normal if you didn't. However, seeking out such thrills in a relationship, unless both partners wholeheartly agree if unfair. As you suggest if people (men or women) want that sort of lifestyle then they need to find another relationship.

The other issue is where does an activiy become OK and when it is overstepping the mark? Take lapdancing for instance. I image most people would think it would OK to have a lapdance in front of a crowd. How about going into a club on your own and having a private dance? Is there any difference paying for a dance or getting one for free? How about if the person getting the dance and their other half knew the stripper would the lapdance still be acceptable? There are some many difficulties and emotions involved in such a situation that it would be easy to cause offence and spoil the relationship..all for a single night of sexual titulation. Very sad. No one should be subjected to another persons wishes, but people also have to consider others feelings.

If my husband wanted to go to a strip club then fine, but I would not be thrilled about it. However, a lap dance would be out of the question. If he wants someone then he made a committment to me just as I did to him. I would hope that he would respect me enough to honour that. However, if he really wanted to go then I would not stop him, but I also wouldn't be there when he came home.

Wow that was a long waffle! :rotfl:

Yes, but a very good one!!!!

manda1205

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes, but a very good one!!!!

Ditto, you seem to think exactly the same as me but have put it in words much better than I could, lol.

sausageface

Tropez wrote: »

In fairness though, most of the "package tour" operators from the UK that arrange these types of get-aways play by the UK rules for them. Stag Republic is the main one in the UK and their rules have the typical "look but don't touch" policy. There's the iffy area of sex tourism and various regulations that they're required to abide by and while someone could easily arrange the most explicit entertainments themselves (and it'd be a darn site easier to do that in say, Amsterdam or even Brussels/Antwerp), if booking through a package company, it isn't going to be a Caligula-esque experiment in decadence.

I have just looked at the Stag Republic website and I would not be happy with any fella of mine doing some of the things on there "naked sushi girls" "lesbo shows" even the innocent sounding "stag dinner in a wine cellar" has some pretty bad photos on it, there is more than I have mentioned as well and it is pretty eeeeeekkk!!

Pee

This came up as a discussion recently when my boyfriend told a "friend" he would go to his stag do "if he was allowed" rather than telling the "friend" that he doesn't like his company when drunk, gets drunk too quickly and the stag do was ridiculously expensive. As it happened, neither the stag do or the wedding went ahead. Given who it was, I didn't mind being used as an excuse although with other people that would really bother me - I think other people would know that that just wasn't me at all - although I did say that there are two issues, what the stag party involves and who the other people on the stag do are. I have to say I completely trust my boyfriend and also know he does his best to keep his friends out of trouble and I would never try and tell him what to do over something as silly as a weekend away with friends. I like to have weekends away with friends, I like him to trust me completely.

That said, I can't really see him wanting to go on the above style stag do and although I can think of a couple of friends of his who would, I think not if they were about to get married.

I'm not Kylie Minogue myself - and actually, maybe Kylie Minogue isn't Kylie Minogue herself anymore -and my boyfriend has a lovely body, but wouldn't get a second interview for the Chippendales/ swimwear modelling agency. That said, he is still the man I want and looking at someone else is not going to change that. I don't see why it would change things for him.

Tropez

sausageface wrote: »

I have just looked at the Stag Republic website and I would not be happy with any fella of mine doing some of the things on there "naked sushi girls" "lesbo shows" even the innocent sounding "stag dinner in a wine cellar" has some pretty bad photos on it, there is more than I have mentioned as well and it is pretty eeeeeekkk!!

I can understand that in some relationships the activities on there would be considered unacceptable but whether one agrees or not, it isn't actually anything more explicit than could be found at home or a lot closer to home and certainly it isn't an exercise in debauchery as some have suggested it might be solely because of some near-xenophobic idea people appear to have of Eastern Europe.

Spider_In_The_Bath wrote: »

Why would any woman want their partner to get a sexual thrill from seeing another woman naked? It is not the nudity in particular it is the setting that it the problem. Seeing other women on a beach topless is not big deal, but having someone specifically go to a place to see women naked for sexual titulation is different.

Some women do like for their partners to get their kicks at strip clubs, from pornography, even from the tacky 900 channels on Sky.

It seems to me that many women on this thread is comparing the subject of men going to see strippers against their own ideas of a perfect relationship. The truth is, everybody's relationship is different and therefore some people will engage in activities, quite happily, that cause disdain from others.