The Great Stripper Issue

pinkshoes

Fang wrote: »

And that's fine. Don't get so hysterical about it.;)

I wonder if you'd be happy to be with a man that dictates what you can and cannot do, or whether you'd consider than domestic abuse as many would.

If my OH was really unhappy/upset about me doing something, then I wouldn't do it. He means more to me than some stupid night out.

Fang_3

pinkshoes wrote: »

If my OH was really unhappy/upset about me doing something, then I wouldn't do it. He means more to me than some stupid night out.

So why put 'man' in inverted commas, as if to suggest that men who do go to a strip show aren't men? And why quote my post that discusses precisely the notion that anyone in a healthy relationship can tell their alleged equal partner what to do?

janninew

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

On the subject of ''would you be happy if your daughter to srtip etc'' my thought is that its more to do with the thought of your child being sexul iyswim, just like the thought of your parents having sex is just one thought that you do not want to have! :eek:

Its not the thought of my daughter/parents being sexual that bothers me at all. I would hate, hate, hate my daughter to have a job that entails her to dance naked around/on top of strange men. I asked my husband and he is of the same opinion as me. The thought of my parents having sex doesn't bother me, I hope they do, its all part of a natural, healthy relationship.

apple111

I personally think that the OP has major trust issues that will kill the relationship sooner or later anyway.

Whether or not one agrees with strippers or not is irrelevant, the fact that ultimatums are being thrown around before the marriage means that this is the OP's way of dealing with things. Sooner or later, the H2B will get sick of this, and that will be that.

Further, will there be even more ultimatums for the H2B's stag party? And what about the Op's Hen party? Will that be a gentle stroll in the park and a picnic?

Even if he doesnt go, and the marriage happens, I give this relationship 6 months max.

janninew

Is it always about trust if women don't like their OH's watching strippers/sex shows?

In my first relationship I would have hated my boyfriend watching other women naked and vice versa for him. I was only young (19) and not very confident (even thought I was slimmer then and not bad looking if I so say so myself!) We had a very intense relationship, lots of passion etc. I trusted him 100% and I can say almost certainly that he wouldn't have cheated, so trust wouldn't have been an issue for me. I just didn't want the man I loved looking at other women in a lustful way, I wanted him to only have eyes for me. Is that unusual?

Now I'm older and more confident I don't have these issues!

Kimberley82

I trust my husband, doesnt mean I would be OK with a stag do like this.

Lunar_Eclipse

Mupette wrote: »

i get the impression the girls here don't trust their men.

(Quoting you Mupette, but also trying to explain one viewpoint on this.) It's got nothing to do with trust, in my opinion. I would trust my husband 100% not to do anything he shouldn't on a weekend like this. However, I would be incredibly disappointed if he went, or wanted to go. Having said that, I don't think he ever would.

It's about respect. For yourself, for your partner/relationship (whether or not they're happy with this sort of thing) and in this case, women in general. I would lose a lot of respect for my husband if he wanted to go or went on a weekend like this to the point where I think I would no longer want to share my life with him.

I can see that some people understand this way of thinking completely and others just don't get it. It has nothing to do with control, permission and not trusting one's partner to remain faithful, but more about the core values as to who they are and them being this person through their actions.

I also blatantly don't think this kind of leisure activity is appropriate for married people; it's lewd and inconsistent with any marriage vows I have ever heard.;)

POPPYOSCAR

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

Why do you count yourself as fortunate?
Also trust me when I say this, you cannot be 100% sure that your OH has/will not been interested in such things, he may be but just has never had the oppourtunity. (I'm not neceissarily talking about your hubby, but any man or woman)

Because he has the same views as me on this so there is no argument there.

And yes I am 100% sure. We have been together 26 years and know each other inside out. He has been invited to these sorts of things but as always declined as it does not interest him(As he always says to me why have burgers out when you can have steak at home!!)

We give each other everything we need in that department so I do trust and believe him when he says these things to me.

The kids are always telling us off and to "get a room"!!!!!!

FelinePrincess

Ahhh, another 'stripper' thread..

I haven't read through the whole thread so apologies if I've missed anything or if I'm repeating anything..

I like to consider myself quite open minded and laid back, although I'd rather he didn't I wouldn't have a problem with him watching the lesbian show, going to the meal or to the lapdancing clubs after - if they were all in the UK that is! Lapdancing in the UK is fairly tame (although, most women would probably disagree) but in eastern Europe it certainly is not! ANYTHING goes over there, the dancers will put the mens hands on them, and more..

It's almost impossible to believe any of the other wives or girlfriends would be happily allowing them to go if they knew what it was really like.

I don't realy know how you should resolve this but I hope you get it sorted

FelinePrincess

Having said that, my oh is going on a stag do to eastern europe in a few months. He knows how I feel about eastern european lap dancing clubs and wasn't going to go, I insisted he did as I wouldn't want him to miss out on his friends stag do. I trust him so I am ok with, and he isn't going to have a lap dance. He would have dances on stag dos in the uk and that would be no problem but I know that eatern european lap dances aren't really 'dances'!