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The Great Stripper Issue
Comments
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I've tried that we've been arguing about it for 2 days, he's slept on the sofa for the past 2 nights as he thinks its unreasonable for me to be upset about him going. He says he still loves me, says that i'm important to him but says he's going and that is that. - we've been together 5 years and are supposed to be getting married ourselves in 5 months. I just feel like everything is falling apart and he's putting spending a weekend ( that we cant even afford) before us and ultimatley before me.
Wow, I am a bloke and I have been married for 20+ years and if we had not trusted each other we would not have managed 20 months never mind 20+ years and 2 kids.
You make it obvious that it has so much more to do with the stripper issue than the cost issue.
You must be insecure. You should not assume that all blokes that go and see a stripper are going to be unfaithful and you should ignore any banter between him and his friends on Facebook or anywhere else, that will just be male bravado.
A few weeks ago I was in Amsterdam for a few days and ended up going to see a live sex show with 2 other males (there was some minor audience participation, not by me) but the most amazing thing for me was that probably 40%+ of the audience were female! I am sure they were just curious and not thinking of being unfaithful!
I told my wife that I had been and that is it, she knows that I was just out with the lads.
If me and the wife worried every time that we were out of each others sight that we were being cheated on, we would not be together today.
But we trust each other. We know what is acceptable and as far as I am concerned a weekend away drinking with the lads and going to see strippers is acceptable. Participation would not be acceptable and I know neither of us would consider it.0 -
georgie262 wrote: »I don't deny that many women do it to pay their way through university. That's the reason most of the girls I knew where doing it it. Also, the statement about many of the businesses being owned and controlled by women means nothing. Statistics mean nothing I can only go on my personal experiences since it is not something I have studied academically.
Fang's correct - statistics mean everything when you're speaking of over representation.
I can just as easily argue that your view point means nothing because clearly you have something against the industry and you're willing to dismiss counter evidence and arguments as meaningless because they don't subscribe to your opinion.0 -
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I can't believe everyone is banging on about the rights and wrongs of strippers etc. The OP said that they couldn't afford for him to go. That would be the biggest issue for me.0
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So because nudity is involved for strippers do people consider exploitation in this industry worse than exploitation in other industries?
I personally think financial exploitation is not paying someone enough for their role, I really don't see how paying someone so much they don't wish to leave is exploitation in any way. I do think they offer such attractive wages to actually get girls to do it but at the same time if someone chooses not to leave thats their choice. I really don't buy that someone can't leave due to the money and if they stay for their own greed they only have themselves to blame.georgie262 wrote: »That sums it up really. Why wouldn't they want a family member doing this? Because it's degrading/cheap many other reasons. so why then is it acceptable for another person's daughter/sister whatever to be degraded in this way. I cannot believe that there are many women out there who would chose to do this work whenthere are other options out there
I'll be honest on this one, even if I may open myself for some flak. I wouldn't want my daughter or partner becoming a stripper but I would go and see one myself. I don't think the job is degrading as such but at the same time I wouldn't want blokes staring at them while they take their clothes off. I understand this makes me a bit hypocritical but thats my opinion on the matter.
I don't actually think it's the same thing though. If a girl chooses to take up stripping it's their choice and I don't think you should base you viewing a stripper or using any job for that matter on what their family thinks of it. I wouldn't be able to stop my daughter from doing it but I wouldn't be happy.
However I wouldn't be happy for my son/daughter/wife taking up several career paths that I'd use if the situation called for it, such as a soldier so it's not exclusively the sex industry I'd have an issue with.0 -
Caroline73 wrote: »I can't believe everyone is banging on about the rights and wrongs of strippers etc. The OP said that they couldn't afford for him to go. That would be the biggest issue for me.
The virtual entirety of the OP's initial post was with regards to her feelings about strippers and sex shows. Perhaps I missed it but the "we can't afford it" comment was chucked in as a throwaway remark in the first response.
Therefore, with phrases such as "physically sick" and the title of the thread being about strippers, it does make sense how the thread may have drifted off into the rights and wrongs of stripping.0 -
So because nudity is involved for strippers do people consider exploitation in this industry worse than exploitation in other industries?
I personally think financial exploitation is not paying someone enough for their role, I really don't see how paying someone so much they don't wish to leave is exploitation in any way. I do think they offer such attractive wages to actually get girls to do it but at the same time if someone chooses not to leave thats their choice. I really don't buy that someone can't leave due to the money and if they stay for their own greed they only have themselves to blame.
I'll be honest on this one, even if I may open myself for some flak. I wouldn't want my daughter or partner becoming a stripper but I would go and see one myself. I don't think the job is degrading as such but at the same time I wouldn't want blokes staring at them while they take their clothes off. I understand this makes me a bit hypocritical but thats my opinion on the matter.
I don't actually think it's the same thing though. If a girl chooses to take up stripping it's their choice and I don't think you should base you viewing a stripper or using any job for that matter on what their family thinks of it. I wouldn't be able to stop my daughter from doing it but I wouldn't be happy.
However I wouldn't be happy for my son/daughter/wife taking up several career paths that I'd use if the situation called for it, such as a soldier so it's not exclusively the sex industry I'd have an issue with.
I have to say I find this hard to understand.Why do you not want blokes to stare at them while they take their clothes off exactly?0 -
I can't believe there's another of these posts, so similar to one we had a few days ago.
As other posters have touched on, it is about a lack of respect for the OP, no matter what the subject. I'd seriously question wanting to be in a relationship like that.
It works both ways of course, but it just so happens that in this case it's the man in the relationship wanting to do something that the woman doesn't feel comfortable with.0 -
POPPYOSCAR wrote: »I have to say I find this hard to understand.Why do you not want blokes to stare at them while they take their clothes off exactly?
I can't really comment on a daughter as I don't have one so I'll presume we're talking about my OH here.
I really wouldn't want other men viewing her in a sexual way. I see her body as hers and mine alone, as does she and therefore I wouldn't want others viewing whatever they want to see. It just ruins that privacy and intimacy in the relationship.
However if the stripper wants to do it then it's their choice and they have clearly come to terms with other people viewing their bodies on a regular basis.0 -
Actually I've thought about this a bit more. I don't think it's even that which would bother me, it's that I know my mates would go and check it out and that would get to me. I think it was completely anonymous I wouldn't have a problem. Same with naked or topless sunbathing. Haven't got an issue with it but if people we knew were around it would upset me.
I do think it must be pretty terrible for some of the partners or fathers of these girls but at the same time I don't think that should be a consideration of if you go or not.0
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