I need to leave so what’s stopping me? (very long sorry)

MadameCholet

Quick update - visited the house again & feel I could make a really cosy & peaceful home there for us.

I have promised the LL a decision by tomorrow & deposit/rent next week when I get paid if I do go ahead, he has offered to give me the keys tomorrow if I give him a holding deposit of £100 whilst waiting for payday which is really good of him!!

I think his kindness was prompted by my 6 yr old daughter telling him 'we've got to move because daddy smashes the plates'!:embarasse

sjc3

Do it, go for it. I promise you this move is something you will not regret. Bless your little 6 year old.

I hope you are too busy packing yours and the kids bags now to reply tonight. Your kids will thank you for putting there safety and well-being above everything else. You can make this work

pigpen

MadameCholet wrote: »

I think his kindness was prompted by my 6 yr old daughter telling him 'we've got to move because daddy smashes the plates'!:embarasse

That made me cry..

THAT is why you leave.. look at that little girl.. listen to what she is saying... Do you want that and similar things to be your children childhood memories?

You have the hand of friendship and care from a complete stranger who doesn't know you from the next person.. grab that hand and save your children.

that is the equivalent of mine saying it was nice getting up in a morning without KH screaming at them all and hearing DD2 laugh for the first time I could remember in years!

Do you know what my oldest son remembers? His dad pushing him so he smashed his knee on the door so he couldn't walk.. his 4 y/o sister having to go to A&E because her dad had her on his bike (on the child seat) and threw the bike down in a rage to go hit DS1 and almost broke her little tiny fingers. He screamed at DS1 all the way to school that it was his fault!!!!

mildredalien

Just wanted to say well done for taking these first scary steps. Things may not go perfectly but you are doing the right thing for the right reason, and there is a LOT of help out there. No-one should have to deal with abuse - and while you may not be afraid of your husband it sounds like he is quite emotionally and mentally abusive. It's very hard to ensure your children grow up healthily in that kind of environment, so while you may find finances and adjusting tricky, as you said you will be able to provide a loving and peaceful home for them.

I've rented privately since I was 18 and have had no problems with dodgy landlords (a few with agencies wanting to take bond money out for no good reason but there are much better protections for bonds these days). Again, there is a lot of help out there!

I'd also agree with what others have said about giving your daughter a chance. At 16 she is young enough to be very damaged by feeling abandoned, but old enough for you to sit down and explain the situation to her and what you expect if she does move in with you. It might not work out, but she might surprise you.

jinky67

MadameCholet wrote: »

Quick update - visited the house again & feel I could make a really cosy & peaceful home there for us.

I have promised the LL a decision by tomorrow & deposit/rent next week when I get paid if I do go ahead, he has offered to give me the keys tomorrow if I give him a holding deposit of £100 whilst waiting for payday which is really good of him!!

I think his kindness was prompted by my 6 yr old daughter telling him 'we've got to move because daddy smashes the plates'!:embarasse

Please take it:)

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

You have to go.

What happens when your lovely little DD says in all innocence 'We were going to move because Daddy shouts and smashes all our plates, but Mummy changed her mind and now she fights with my big sister, who got a big knife out and was going to cut Mummy's face until the policeman came and Daddy was shouting all night.......'

to her school teacher?

Social Services, that's what happens next. I'm surprised it hasn't happened before.

busiscoming2

MadameCholet wrote: »

Quick update - visited the house again & feel I could make a really cosy & peaceful home there for us.

I have promised the LL a decision by tomorrow & deposit/rent next week when I get paid if I do go ahead, he has offered to give me the keys tomorrow if I give him a holding deposit of £100 whilst waiting for payday which is really good of him!!

I think his kindness was prompted by my 6 yr old daughter telling him 'we've got to move because daddy smashes the plates'!:embarasse

Go, Go, Go...

Look forward and enjoy the rest of your lives!

pigpen

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

You have to go.

What happens when your lovely little DD says in all innocence 'We were going to move because Daddy shouts and smashes all our plates, but Mummy changed her mind and now she fights with my big sister, who got a big knife out and was going to cut Mummy's face until the policeman came and Daddy was shouting all night.......'

to her school teacher?

Social Services, that's what happens next. I'm surprised it hasn't happened before.

In ours it went..

'Daddy and DS1 were fighting in the kitchen and DS1 hit daddy in the face and daddy punched him and mummy stepped in to stop them and she got punched in the face. Then DS1 smashed the stairs and daddy had to fix them and grandma came and took DS1 to stay at her house and everyone is sad'

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Ours was 'He was really mad because DD2 wet herself and he went towards her taking his belt off, she ran into our bedroom and Mummy ran and jumped over the dog and dived in front of the door in front of him. There was lots of shouting but we couldn't see anything because I hid us in the wardrobe and the dog was barking and he was yelling and we could hear the door banging and banging on something until it smashed and there was glass everywhere. The front door slammed and we heard the car and it went all quiet until we heard something coming. We were really scared but it was just Mummy.

He came back later that week and took my dog away when I was at school and then there was another fight. He pushed Mummy lots and she sort of bounced down the hall like when I play with my ball before I get told to stop. She sort of fell into the kitchen and he went in after her. But after some funny noises, that sounded like Mummy growling, he came back out and ran off to his car and drove away. And Mummy came out of the kitchen coughing and holding a big knife that she used to cut up the strawberries we had for a treat that evening. And he went to Nanny and Granddad's and never came back. But I really, really miss my doggie'



The teacher said in passing at the end of the day 'I have heard quite a worrying story today. Does it end with him never coming back?'. When I said yes, she smiled and said 'Good. It stays with me, then'.

pigpen

Oh we are a sorry bunch aren't we?

Why do the children behave like little gits when they have seen us do stuff like this to protect them?