Do you allow......

vesper

suited-aces wrote: »

Tbh I'd be increcidbly resentful, and not a chance OH would be in separate room these days. That said, I'd bet a large sum you've turned out the better person of the two of you.

I can't say I have turned into the better person as I haven't spoken to her for a few years. She is with a bloke that is very very well off and lives in his house in London so doesn't have to pay for a thing. Instead I work very hard for the money I earn and rent with my partner, we have spent 5 years saving up for a deposit on a house and if I want something I have to work for it rather than just ask. So our lives have taken very different paths as due to that we don't see each other (I am beneath her in social and wealth standards anf yes she has told me that as have my parents).
On the other hand I don't care what she has, I have a true relationship were we love each other and not because of the money and wonderful holidays.

suited-aces

vesper wrote: »

I can't say I have turned into the better person as I haven't spoken to her for a few years. She is with a bloke that is very very well off and lives in his house in London so doesn't have to pay for a thing. Instead I work very hard for the money I earn and rent with my partner, we have spent 5 years saving up for a deposit on a house and if I want something I have to work for it rather than just ask. So our lives have taken very different paths as due to that we don't see each other (I am beneath her in social and wealth standards anf yes she has told me that as have my parents).
On the other hand I don't care what she has, I have a true relationship were we love each other and not because of the money and wonderful holidays.

In that case I have been proven very much right. She sounds like a horrible person.

suited-aces

And if it's any consoloation, it sounds as though she is completely dependent on him. That relationship might have an interesting dynamic...

busiscoming2

I am on the side of those who say if anything sexual is going to happen it will happen regardless. I don't have a problem with my DS2 entertaining his g/f in his room as I am pretty sure he wouldn't get up to much yet anyway. Probably just playing with the guitar, facebook and listening to music.

I have asked my DH why he is against it and his reply was "I just am" and either couldn't or wouldn't explain further.

I know he thinks sex is all males think about, so I expect it's that.

rumncoke

rumncoke can i ask what you would do if your 14 year old child had sex with their 16 year old partner?

In answer to this I trust my daughter completely. We have always allowed them to have their friends (male & female) over from an early age & they have always used their bedrooms as their space for being with friends. To automatically start banning this now it is tantamount to telling them we dont trust them anymore.
To be honest she only sees him for a few hours once a week at the weekend (daytime) as he lives 20 miles away so school nights is a definate no plus the fact he is studying hard for his GCSE's. When he has been over they are generally just talking about music & on FB. I do know that they have kissed as she told me. Hence being pretty certain that she is not interested in anything more following the comments she made at the time.
I am not naive to believe it could never happen but she is pretty clued up & although I would be disappointed we would discuss things on an adult level. Screaming & shouting & telling them no is a sure fire way for teenagers to do what they want, where they want behind your back IMO.

A 16 year old who has sex with a 14 year old can end up on the sex offenders' register. It might be worth pointing that out to them both.

Nowhere in my post does it suggest that I think they are about to jump into bed together & as another poster pointed out there definately seems to be a lack of trust between parents & their teenage children.
At the end of the day if teenagers want to get intimate they WILL find away, it is more about how you deal with the situation. I know of a girl (not a friend I hasten to add) who is nearly 17, she has been sexually active since 13 with many different lads, baby on 15th birthday(now adopted as couldn't cope) Yes the lads could have been reported but would that have been fair as the girl is certainly no better than an alley cat.
Obviously if it is a much older lad or the girl has been coerced that is a different matter.

Mojisola

rumncoke wrote: »

[/COLOR]A 16 year old who has sex with a 14 year old can end up on the sex offenders' register. It might be worth pointing that out to them both.

Nowhere in my post does it suggest that I think they are about to jump into bed together & as another poster pointed out there definately seems to be a lack of trust between parents & their teenage children.
At the end of the day if teenagers want to get intimate they WILL find away, it is more about how you deal with the situation.
[/COLOR]

I wasn't suggesting that your daughter was about to have sex but a lot of youngsters don't realise that they can get caught up in the sex offenders laws. They think it only counts if the age difference is great or that it only applies to adult/child relationships.

There have been two threads on MSE started by the parents of 16 year old boys who had been arrested for having sex with their younger girl friends. Waiting to deal with the situation after it had happened was too late for them.