Do you allow......

diddyangel

I was allowed to have my (now ex) boyfriend stay overnight in my room at 15, almost 16. We had been together a year and my mum knew I was already on the pill. We had already had sex but I hadn't discussed this with my mum but I guess she already knew as she had found my pills. Her opinion of things was that I was less likely to 'do it' under her roof and she was quite right. We NEVER 'did it' with anyone in the house. She also knew that if we weren't allowed to share a room there we would just find somewhere else to go and if we were there she knew what we were up too!! He was allowed in my room from when I first took him home at 14/15 but there were always people in/out or the door was open as we had nothing to hide when the house was full.

His parents were totally different though. We were never allowed to share the same bedroom at his house and were only allowed up to his room if we kept the door open at all times. His room was at the top of the stairs so there was no chance of doing anything without getting caught !

I think the open door policy might be best. I'm hoping to have a bigger house before my girls reach that age and will hopefully have a separate living room/study for them to have 'friends' in so that bedrooms are out of bounds..... hopefully :rotfl:

moomoomama27

Yes we allow DD, 13, to have boy ''friends'' in her bedroom! She isn't going out with anyone yet, they are just friends from school who happen to be male, but if she had a boyfriend it wouldn't be a problem, as long as she leaves the door open, so I can check on them every now and agan!

We have clued her up on safe sex, and she comes to us with anything, and speaks openly, and while I would hate my DD to be having sex at a young age, burying your head in the sand does nothing, but cause more problems from my past experience! I trust her as much as I can, and know that if she was going to have sex she wouldn't necassarily need a bedroom! Thankfully she's not at that stage yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time

brighthair

I was allowed from being about 14 I think. Also allowed boyfriends to stay over from being 16. Odd maybe, but I never had sex under my parents roof. I think because Mum trusted me to be in my room with them, I didn't IYSWIM. Stopping them from being in a bedroom alone probably just means they'll be on a park/behind a bus shelter anyway

LittleLauz

celebrate wrote: »

i'm still not allowed and i'm 39...........:(
lol!:rotfl:

A colleague of mine was 59 and wasn't allowed to have her boyfriend over to stay in her room as her elderly mum lives with her!!
She's relaxed now they've been together for about 8 years though. Lol.

rumncoke

We recently had this conversation about our DD 14. She has been seeing her BF for 2 months now who is 16. We agreed he could go in her bedroom as all her female friends do & at this stage we did not want to make too big a deal of it but definately open door. Pretty certain that she is not ready for more than a kiss at the moment anyway judging by her comments but we all know how things can progress.
We have always been very open with both DS & DD & can talk about anything. Although hopefully the situation we had with DS a few months ago may put her off anyway.
He is 20 at uni & last October he announces that his fiancee of 2 years is 33 weeks pregnant. Made much more complicated that she is American & lives with her Dad in the US. We went ballistic mainly for them not telling us. (& DH had just had an operation following being diagnosed with cancer so stressful time anyway)Turns out they had an accident with a condom & didn't know how to go about getting the morning after pill. Definate lesson learned here-although well clued up about condoms etc make sure they know how to get emergency contraception.
So we now have a lovely grandson who we hope to see in the summer. DS thankfully is continuing at uni before making plans to move to the US next year.

As others have said teenagers will find a way if they really want to.

abby1234519

This made me laugh a lot

Firstly, you cannot stop a teenage who wants to get intimate (even if its just kissing) with their boy/girlfriend. If you try to tell them not to you get resentment

Also isn't it part of growing up? Desires and all that? Its better surely to talk to them about it and find out what they think before you ban them from having a "friend" over.

I never could talk to the parents so when I did become sexually active (at 18 so late compared to some) I was always at his house. I have never had a boy at my house because it would have been just wrong, my parents would laugh at me. I remember coming home at 16 from my boyfriends with a red chin from his stubble and they just laughed at me :S

When my baby is all grown up, I would rather he was going to get up to stuff in my house in a safe environment, but at the same time he WILL know that if he has sex under 16 he is in big trouble. But I also hope I will have instilled some morals in him.

On another note, I'm not allowed to stay at my boyfriends as him and his last girlfriend used to keep the whole house awake on his squeaky bed so his mother has banned sleeping over. However she is warming to me and I was allowed to stay over once and all I did was sleep! Then again he has a single bed and I soon will have a large baby bump so not very convinenent ^^

Mupette

rumncoke can i ask what you would do if your 14 year old child had sex with their 16 year old partner?

bluenoseam

No, no and a further no - if i have daughters they won't be allowed to have BF's until they're atleast 25!!! Ok in all seriousness, no, i wouldn't allow it under 16 years of age as they know unless you're the CIA/MI5 you have no way of enforcing it 100%

God forbid i should have children, i will be the parent from HELL!

Mojisola

rumncoke wrote: »

We recently had this conversation about our DD 14. She has been seeing her BF for 2 months now who is 16. We agreed he could go in her bedroom as all her female friends do & at this stage we did not want to make too big a deal of it but definately open door. Pretty certain that she is not ready for more than a kiss at the moment anyway judging by her comments but we all know how things can progress.

A 16 year old who has sex with a 14 year old can end up on the sex offenders' register. It might be worth pointing that out to them both.

Errata

Whilst parents may be accepting of an offspring having sex under their roof with a partner, I wonder if they'll continue to be accepting with the next partner, and the one after that, and the one after that? Teenage romances are not noted for their longevity.