Low Mood Mummy Support Club

pinkmum2010

What an awesome thread it’s so nice to know I’m not alone.

I work full time and my daughters 5 and 6 are in full time education. I do all the regular mummy stuff like cleaning, washing, cooking, etc. my kids are always well presented and probably a lil spoilt I take them to all their different social events and hobbies but still feel I’m falling short as I mother. My OH doesn’t break a sweat when it comes to running the home and child care and the running of the household is left to me on top of the 35 hrs a week I work. He plays the Martyr (I feel) because he’s been decorating and “can’t do it all” but he’s just making so much mess moving from job to job without finishing them which is driving me mad as he want’s so much credit for what he’s doing but gives me none! I’ve began to feel so depressed I cried myself to sleep last night after a massive argument with OH which happens more and more lately and just think I would be better off without him. Our history has always been wracked by arguments we broke up in 2006 and got back together at the back end of 2009 and I think I’ve made a huge mistake!

nomuny

pinkmum2010- I think we all feel like this sometimes but the thing is we all think we'v got to look as if we can do it all. TBH no one can lots of mums with jobs have outside help from others. My OH is at home all the time but if I don't give him instructions he does nothing and I'l come back from shopping to find him sat on the chair and pots etc still undone. I feel the same regarding my relationship also but am not in a position to do anything about it but I know how you feel and send you hugs.

Am now upset my daughter goes riding - one of the few times I see anyone to chat to having no friends - but her friend and her have cooked upto go together every fortnight with DD staying at friend s FRi and all day Sat -not keen on this freind so that doesn't help[-I'm being unreasonanle wanting to watch her ride so now shes in tears too - so sick of my life

pinkmum2010

You're not being unreasonable, i love to watch my kids doing things they enjoy too, seeing them happy makes me happy. my daughter has one of those friends too, she's only six but she's too grown up for her age and too chheky and that's not how i've raised my kids and don't want thme to be like her.

nomuny

Pinkmum2010

Thats exactly how it is this friend is cheeky, and talks to her parents in a v. disrespectful manner. So when dd comes back from her spending time with her shes a bit like that too and as a result usually gets told off. I,ve noticed she started speaking differently aswell, (might not be a bad thing in some respects as I do use slang etc like most who live in this area) but it sounds false IYKWIM. After I'd said no last night dd wouldn't answer phone to her friend, although I haven't said no never I've said not every time - I know I can't pick her friends. We've had issues in the past tho with her being bullied (shes very sensitive and doesn't seem able to stand up for herself ) I blame myself for this she must have picked up on my moods and unhappiness whilst shes been growing up and its affected her. Had to pick her up this morning from school feeling sick. This is what used to happen before and although I sought help was fobbed off and it just never happened. This year shes had a brill teacher, who knows nothing of her issues from past years, but is aware shes sensitive and has done alot to boost her confidence. Dd's promised me she is ill but am not sure its just a coincidence its happened after last night. Don't think I can cope with that all over again. Why do people think they're doing their kids a favour by letting them act in this way. Just don't want her to end up like me walked all over an d fed up

[Deleted User]

Evening ladies, i havne't logged on for a few days and you know what its been really nice to feel liberated from the internet world and just get on with normal life, but then i've been busy and not needed the net to occupy me. Tomorrow is our home day and i expect i'll have my emails, fb and mse all paged up and refreshed every 10 mins.

Big hugs to tose who need them, Miss Mouse in particular, i second what CP wrote, its very sensible reasoning. Myself, i know its all too easy in the heat of the feelings to think and feel things that you don't really mean in a sound mind. After all a few weeks back I was so angry at my DH for his lack of sensitivity and thoughtfulness that i (in the heat of the mood) felt ready to leave him overnight and take the kids to the travel lodge nearby and was thinking all sorts of stupid divorce stuff/single parent stuff, but of course, once i'd calmed down and we talked, we moved on and i realised what a waste of money and precious weekend time if i had done that. Now i've read that back it seems really drama queen stuff and i'm usually very pragmatic and sensible, but i do have this side of me that wants to run.....

Anyway this week for me has been hard going, i forgot to take my tablets for 4 days running (forgot) in the loosest sense, shall we say my DH has been complaining about my lack of s e x driive for the last few weeks, which i know is down the the AD's. So i came off them but by day 4 i was feeling low, down, very unsafe and spent a whole night awake in a state of anxiety, so i admitted to my DH what i'd done and we agreed my s e x or org asm wasnt worth it and my mental health was. my own fault, but i spent monday puking up on and off due to withdrawels then a high dose of ad's again without build up, so warning ladies, don't suddenly withdraw unless you want to be acquainted with the toilet bowl all day in charge of two kids. Not recommended.

Anyway, little people should be in bed, so i'd better go.

Take care and i hope your all enjoying the sunshine.

Counting_Pennies_2

Hi all,

How are we this week?

Bailey I do hope you are back on track now with the tablets and that you feel more settled. You have had so much on lately, have you any chance of just sitting back for a few days each week and just stop?

Haven't heard from others lately do hope you are all ok?

Well I thought my run of good days were going too well. I think I fitted too much in at the beginning of the week for my DS's birthday, and have now been hit with a throat infection.

I took the children to their relevant schools and preschools and came back ready to throw up, and spent the rest of the day in bed shivering and boiling all at the same time. This happens regularly when I over do it, I get run down so quickly, but this went on for far too long, normally I just end up with a bad cold or cough within a few hours and get on with it, but I got to the point I was really not well enough at school pick up. DH couldn't come back from work to help, had a late afternoon presentation.

So with the help of a babysitter I managed to battle my way to the end of the day. I then had to brave the day with smiles and enthusiasm for my DS's party yesterday, when I just needed to curl in a ball and sleep off the temperature. By then my throat was raging. Thankfully I got to the end of the party, my son had 'his best party ever' and my DH drove me to the weekend doctor surgery at the hospital to be told I had a throat infection. He said because I had several weeks of the virus, my body was so low that it picked up any bug that came my way.

So yet another week out of action. I have had one week of being well since the beginning of the half term holidays, and by the time I get better it will be the start of the preschool easter holidays.

I am feeling more frustrated that yet again my quest for getting fit has taken a bashing. I have tried so hard to get my body in some form of reasonable shape (size 16 is my current aim).

I am literally taking such a bashing at the moment with being run down that I just don't seem to be able to do anything.

This is how my life has been since PND struck nearly 4 years ago now. I am so fed up with it. Of course the emotional/hormonal bit is 100 times better than those scary early days, but health wise I just don't seem to be able to crack it.

My DH is better these days with accepting that I need to be taken to the out of hours Dr on occasions when I am struck down, and that I need to go to bed, but sympathy is short lived.

Only last week he had a go at me for not getting things done, BUPA illness lists for the last four years of my medical history (an essay is needed for this and in the BUPA format and I have a wedge of printed doctors notes over an inch thick I have to wade through). Plus I was letting the house get out of order.

I tried to remind him that I had been laid low with a virus for weeks and that since half term I hadn't had a chance to do anything, apart from food on the table, kids looked after, and washing and ironing done. That I had just started to get my fitness back again. It is accepted while I am poorly that things will go, but the second I am better, I am supposed to be back on track with everything.

Should I go to a rare coffee morning, I am criticised for just chatting with friends (I say rare, it averages once in every two months, the rest of the days I spend very lonely on my own here at home). Just two weeks ago I finally broke through the loneliness and started walking for an hour a day and chatting with people in that hour, that is my only break through this loneliness.

Each day I need to have a rest to make it through to the end of the day. Typically I get up, get the children sorted, get me sorted, log on internet while eating breakfast, washing on, school runs (take an hour) food shop if needed, home, washing out, list of tasks for the day, ironing, lunch, quick internet check while eating, rest, school run, children home, hour play time, kids supper cooked, internet check while they watch a bit of tv, school homework, bed routine, cook supper for us, dishwasher and bed.

I am getting so bored of this routine. When I am well enough, I take a walk or an exercise class. I have the rare coffee meet up, one night a month there might be something on at school.

Sorry I rant, I am sure everyone is having it tough, but today with this throat I am feeling dreadful.

Take care everyone

x

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi, great idea for a thread. There seem to be lots of us Mums around who are finding things tough and this is a great place to offload your feelings when you cant really talk to anyone else.

I am 39 years old, my boys are 10 and 12. Two years I was working at a job I loved, it was very challenging with lots of responsibility and I had to work really really hard but I was lucky to work flexible hours and work from home sometimes so I could balance that with being a Mum. Then we found out that my eldest son has a Chronic Illness. He became very poorly very quickly and hasnt been to school full time since the summer hols started in 2009. I kept working for a while then it all got too much and I had to leave my job.

Fast forward to now and he is making some improvements. The medication he is on seems to be helping and he is managing part time school but we have no idea when he will be well enough to be back full time. Nothing is guaranteed with his health and he could suddenly go back to being very poorly again at any time. I am bored and lonely and my confidence has hit rock bottom. I have realised that through working so much and trying to be a good Mum I have lost touch with all of my friends and if it wasnt for my OH I dont know how I would cope.

I come on here and read about other peoples stories and feel guilty. Things could be a lot worse for me, we have got enough money to pay the bills (just) and I have got two lovely children and a great marriage. I just feel very lonely and unhappy sometimes.

Last night I saw an ad in the paper for a local pub/restaurant who are looking for pt staff. I laid in bed awake for ages thinking that I should apply for a job. If I worked a few evenings OH could manage with the boys and it would get me out. Not sure if I have the confidence to do it though ...

Oh well, DS1 will be up and about soon, hope everyone has a good day, big hugs to anyone finding things hard at the moment.

Counting_Pennies_2

Hi Yorkshire Lass,

So sorry to hear your news, and glad your DS is making slow progress in the right direction.

I wonder if it is worth looking at things like Avon, so you can do the regular things at home, and get out and deliver the brochures as and when you are able.

I used to do this for additional pin money, (I saved in just a couple of months for a very expensive flight to Africa), very little effort for ok returns and it was always very sociable, people would themselves be at home lonely, and would chat on their doorsteps when I went to collect the books and deliver the goods.

I often wonder about an evening job, but my concern is that I have seen so many of my friends working different shifts to one another and they just lose touch with each other and go their separate ways, so when I get back on my feet again, I intend to try to get something flexible in the day when the children are at school. I know that is difficult for you at the moment, but with my medical health I will be unable to commit to a regular job, and instead will try to get something I can pick up and put down when necessary.

Take care of yourself.

mum2twinsx2

Im having awfully rubbish day :(.
Sorry cant read through all the post.
Hope everyone else is okay?

I had a leak in bathroom and it has caused damage to ceiling in the kitchen now it looks all horrid. So having to pay out for plumber which I can just about afford, and now for the ceiling. As i dont want it getting damp spots etc with there being children in the house. The plumber was an !!!! aswell, could done with a nice happy face.
DH is away at sea.
So many things need doing round the house which i cant physically do as always children wanting attention once their finally asleep I can barely keep my eyes open. Bathroom needs flooring down, garden isnt secure enough for children.. plus i need a goat to get the grass down.
I know its not the end of the world and we can survive without doing those jobs but would be nice to have everything complete for once.
Twin boy one is major grump badly teething, so not been able to put him down. twin boy two cant entertain himself needs constant attention. Im dreading the mood girls come out from school, if anything normal one will whine all the way home the other will just be a rebel.
Ohh it could be worse.
Im off to go rock in the corner.