Does life have to be like this? (because this is not fun)

Pinky15

Just wanted to say Hi! and that you are not alone. I have 3 little ones also and gosh the times I had. We had some really good days and equally hard ones. My DH works away a lot also which I found incredibly hard at times. In the end I just made sure I planned my week in advance so I knew we could get out of the house/ get tidied up etc. So mondays - playgroup, tuesday - walk in woods/park. I would try on a weekend to go to a play centre with a friend and have lunch which would give me a night off cooking:D.
I found keeping on top of the mess is key and the children had to tidy up before getting the next lot of toys out. I tried to make sure they were in bed by 7.30 and would do an hours house work eg ironing whilst watching corrie, washing on and hung out before bed. Oldest DD would then pop round with a basket on a morning and collect dried washing in - she loved doing this.
I can only echo what others have said and say try not to be hard on yourself it is sooooo tiring with 3 little ones and will get better. I now have 2 at school and one soon to start nursery yey and it does get easier - take care x

onlyroz

JoJoB wrote: »

All I have to add is - don't go shopping with young children except when absolutely necessary, they will drive you bonkers!

I disagree - my two-year-old is at her most manageable when we're out shopping - she's far too busy goggling at everyone to be much of a bother.

A tip I was given, to give yourself 30 mins of peace-and-quiet when out-and-about is to give the child something to eat that they adore, but which is really fiddly and requires much hand-eye coordination. Favourites are a bag of crisps (sod the lack of nutrition) or fruit segments. Bliss...

celebrate

gosh what a thread, mine still whine !!!! when do they stop doing that again ??!!

actually i think it turns to arguing as they're getting older, when they are tiny they just have tantrums and scream at you, as they get older they start trying to argue a point with you and my gosh they never stop arguing with each other

and i was thinking of having more kids ........:eek:maybe not!!!

(already have a 4/6/9yr old)

pigpen

celebrate wrote: »

gosh what a thread, mine still whine !!!! when do they stop doing that again ??!!

actually i think it turns to arguing as they're getting older, when they are tiny they just have tantrums and scream at you, as they get older they start trying to argue a point with you and my gosh they never stop arguing with each other

and i was thinking of having more kids ........:eek:maybe not!!!

(already have a 4/6/9yr old)

I won't have arguing.. if they have a point to make they don't need to argue they just have to plead their case .. argue over a toy.. it is mine.. argue over clothes, they are mine.. argue in general I give them jobs to do..

Tantrums are a doddle.. you walk away... my 16 year old would hold her breath until she passed out as a todder.. frightened my HV to death lol.. my sister used to headbutt the concrete floor and knock herself unconscious.. both are fairly sensible large people now. there is always the option of doing it back!

I last took mine shopping when there were 3 of them.. and it was horrific.. 2 in the trolley DS1 walking and falling over and knocking stuff over and daydreaming off and just being a fool... NEVER again!!!! I jut have shopping delivered and they have to put it all away

As for whining.. my dad is 58 and STILL whines.. and my stepdad is a champion whiner at 64... I think whining is a personality trait rather than something they might outgrow.

jinky67

Whining gets on my goat as well, I try my best to ignore it, and dont let them get what they want either, till they ask nicely or even forget about it

bromleymum

I had three close together and there were some awful days when I can honestly say, everything went wrong.

I too have locked my youngest in the car, but even worse, the engine was running while I was scraping ice off the windows. I had to put a brick through a window!!! Five minutes later when I'd stopped crying and got back in the house to calm down I remembered I had a spare key in the kitchen.

My absolute worse day which I can laugh about now... just ... was in an airport (what was I thinking!!!) trying to get all three on a plane. My OH took the toddlers and all I had to do was collapse the pushchair and get on the plane with the baby. I kept trying to close this pushchair one handed and it kept getting stuck. I couldn't figure out what was stopping the blooming thing from closing. I was getting really frustrated and as I apologised for holding up the queue a flight attendant pointed out that I would probably have more luck if I actually removed my son from the pushchair first.

Sessie

I can see this becoming a legendary thread where we all come to let off some steam after a taxing day. In my case, with Girlchild being taken over by the Devil, this may be every day!! :rotfl:
I think the number of people who have replied saying the same thing proves that none of us are on our own in this. I also think that, at some level deep down, we all knew this but it's nice to have a lot of other people say it.

Some of the advice I've seen here I will be giving a go myself.

Yesterday Mr Sessie's grandmother could see I was reaching the end of my tether and helpfully pointed out, "If you give them some toys to play with they'll be fine.." .....!!!! Oh REALLY? Now why didn't I think of that?!?!:mad::mad:. Does she seriously think I keep all the toys locked up at home and just sit them in the middle of the room with nothing to do?? Grrrr..

Have subscribed, will be back...

Now, off I go to do a full day's PROPER work (actually at work, I work part time as well!).. and then go home to wash the kitchen floor and do an online shop and the ironing ...

*sigh *... and on it goes...

x

HooCanTellMee

Hi to lalaladybird,
Just read this and thought, wow, I was just like that. Three under four, and it was crazy, eldest had heart problem, which meant even getting to playgroup consisting of keeping tabs on a fighting fit and stroppy girl, waiting for the eldest to go at his own pace, and a buggy! Many days of chaos, lost keys, house was untidy and I was shattered. Then just when it seemed to get into a routine, the youngest would get a cold, so we would end up in hospital overnight with a nebuliser and I was back where I started. I even went home one night whilst he was in, and asleep, to get something to eat and ended up cooking for hubby and the other two, hubby had managed to burn his way through a packet of fish fingers, he wanders off and they burn, so start again! That happened three times before I got home!
Just remember this time will pass, and you will be surprised how quickly, I bet there are many good times, we are usually just too frazzled to think of them! Be proud of your kids, not ashamed, they are children and expected to be trouble on little legs! Ask your mum what you were like, I bet you were a handful too! Think what stage you will be at in even a year from now! Once playgroup and school take over you will have some time to yourself. Leave an emergency bag in the car, but try to never use it but if you ever do make sure to refill it.
You will miss this time when they have grown up, try to make the most of it, mine are teens now, 15, 17 and 19, the eldest is at Uni! You will have more than enough time to tidy up! I am still untidy, miss my eldest like mad and wouldn't have missed the chaos for the world! I would do it again if I could, but you can't, so don't wish for change it will come whether you like it or not.

pinkclouds

My kids are 20 months apart - I guess they are technically a toddler and a preschooler now but I still think of them as two toddlers. (Well, I probably still think of them as two babies!)

Always have your changing bag packed and ready to go (restock it when you come home or late at night when the kids are asleep - nappies/pants and wipes are essential and everything else is a welcome bonus). Use a double stroller when they are little - reins are a nightmare. Sod the housework. So long as people are fed and clothes are washed then ignore the ironing and most of the cleaning. Hoover when you remember, put some bleach down the toilet and accept your house is a home and will look like a tip for a few short years. Use a playpen and stairgates. Age-appropriate TV or DVDs are fine and will not harm your kids. Do your weekly grocery shopping online and only go to the shops for small top-ups or "fun" shopping. So long as the kids aren't upset/ill/injured and you don't habitually ignore them, then you can tune out the chatter while you are using the bathroom or changing a nappy or turning on the oven - you don't have to keep responding every 2 seconds and it won't harm them for a few short minutes. Occasionally screaming "argh, this place is a mess and I can't take any more of this" is all right - do it in a comedy tone and the kids will think it's hilarious. And so on and so forth.

Honestly, everyone uses the same little tricks to get by through the day. No one is perfect. The only way to have a pristine, orderly life is to use a very strict Gina Ford style routine and the old "kids should be seen and not heard" concept. If your kids make a mess of crumbs in a cafe or start crying in church then do not worry. All the older ladies around will reassure you that they've been there, bought the t-shirt. I will miss the chaos so much when it's gone...

sassyblue

Yes ladybird l've had days like you and l only have one child! My God he was a whinger :eek:

Life with children is chaos, sometimes it's organised, sometimes not, and sometimes despite your best efforts it will still descend into chaos! :cool:

Whenever you're having a bad day just tell yourself tomorrow will be different and sooner or later the bad days become less and less.

I used to get stuff done while my little one was sleeping, l swore l would NEVER open packets of stuff going round the supermarket for my kids to eat but l did to ensure peace and quiet for myself and others :rotfl: sometimes changing your kids toys around renews their interest in something and gives you extra 10 mins to get something done, and l never put the tv on until the afternoon when l started getting tea ready so that became a novelty for a little while - just enough time to get the tea prepared!

Good luck, it's hard work when they're little but you know we wouldn't swap them for the world. :A

ETA a little story...... yesterday l was busy so l gave hubby a shopping list and he and our little one went shopping together, our son is 4 1/2 now so shopping is alot easier. I told hubby to always look for the best deal with something it may not be the value range but just look at the prices. He gave me a look and then looked at our son and said 'but l can't do that with him with me!' No sympathy from me l've managed it uptil now. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: