Does life have to be like this? (because this is not fun)

Nicki

The day out part of the day doesn't sound all that child friendly so not wholly surprised it was stressful. When I meet up with friends with the kids in tow, we would always choose a restaurant which is very tolerant of kids and the mess they make, and afterwards we would do something the kids really like to do, which also gives us a chance to catch up and chat, like go to the park or a soft play centre. Shopping with toddlers is never relaxing in my experience!

With the whingeing over breakfast, our technique is to always try to turn difficult behavioir round to the positive. So if our toddler pulls stuff off the table rather than get into a confrontation which will result in him moaning, we would congratulate him for helping tidy up and encourage him to carry some stuff over to the sink and leave the stuff we hadn't finished with for example. We did this with our older child as well and he has grown up to be very good natured and well behaved so it works for us.

With the changing bag, my philosophy is always that either I can do without what I've forgotten, or I'll buy it again if I can't while out, as things like nappies, wipes, baby food etc will all get used eventually. I appreciate it helps we live in a major city where there are always places to stock up though, and that this might not be so easy somewhere more rural.

pigpen

part of the baby's nap and quality time with your older one can be housework.. he can load the washer.. and empty it to the wash basket.. mine used to do all sorts.. I had my 2 y/o GS filling the washer yesterday and today he has done the dryer.. it teaches them valuable life lessons and skills,.. With mine they used to come help me for a short time then we would have lunch or a snack then go read or watch a film and snuggle or whatever they wanted.

Sublime_2

We've all had days like that. My son was a screamer as a baby. My solution was to put the kettle on, place the children safely in the living room, with the TV on, and some toys, while I sat down with a lovely cup of tea.

I could still hear DS screaming in the kitchen while I was drinking my tea, but knew he was safe, so would make myself sit there for 5 minutes or so, until he'd calmed down. Worked a treat. Good for me too!

Sambucus_Nigra

The only thing I'd add; is

RoseZebra

Hello,
I just wanted to send you a hug because it all sounds so familiar! I have a one year old and a three year old and it is chaos most days. I used to be really houseproud ( hahahah ) Now if I have a really bad day I just think sod it, deal with the mess after they have gone to bed and just start again tomorrow, and quite often tomorrow is much better. Anyway after three and half years of full time looking after my children the oldest one is starting school in a week. Im excited! So I guess it doesnt go on forever. x

pandora205

Oh yes, I remember it well! These are interesting ages and all consuming for the parent/s. It might be an idea to imagine the world at their stages of development and think of activities that way around. An eight month old is very alert and interested in the world. They like to explore by tasting and touching... and if mobile by rolling, crawling or otherwise wending their way around. This gives them great power and mastery but means that they don't like being constrained. Shops and restaurants are tricky at this stage as they want to be exploring not sitting ... although attention from smiley people is very amusing. A two year old has slightly different needs: they want to do things - to climb, run, jump, roll... to try things out. Physical play is very popular - often the more boisterous the better, although music and singing go down well as long as they are noisy and interactive, and getting messy is often a favourite pastime. All of this makes an adult afternoon out quite a challenge. Babies and toddlers would probably prefer and trip to the woods or park, or a play in a ball pool with a messy picnic to finish. Do you manage to get out to a toddler group or have friends with little ones of a similar age, as this would combine adult company with children's fun? And of course, later in the day they will be sleepy and peaceful (probably :])

mrcow

I've three children all close in age. Been there, seen it, done it and got the t-shirt with sick down the back of the shoulder and orange baby food smeared down the front.

You don't need to listen to whinging all day. Just get a bit more organised perhaps too so you're not always on your back foot. Kids will moan if they think they need to. If you sort them out first, then you don't have the whole moaning malarky. Get your youngest in the highchair quickly with something to stick in their mouth (even if it's a stick of cucumer - they're not fussy), and they'll get on with it whilst you make the rest of the breakfast/lunch etc. Getting dressed isn't something to moan about if it's made fun etc. We all have bad days, but if every day is a bad day then it's no fun for anyone. Presumably your children don't winge and moan when you're playing with them or reading to them etc?

Why are your children not in a double buggy whilst you're shopping? You certainly shouldn't be chasing anyone around a shop - they should be strapped in and behaving.

And don't beat yourself up about housework etc. You sound very tired. When did you last get an evening out?

74jax

Lalaladybird wrote: »

I am really appreciating all the great suggestions and so glad no-ne has said that I just sound really incompetent!

This bit made me laugh, not because I do think your incompetent, but because you actually thought someone would say that when really it's just normal. Especially with 3 young ones.

I would say the day out part could have maybe been a little bit more 'child friendly', maybe a coffee at soft play? That way you're around like minded parents who are all feeling as stressed as you and have taken the kids to soft play to get out of the house for a little bit. Spilt coffee, screaming children are all the norm there :rotfl:

I agree with having an 'outing' bag, stocked with nappies and wipes and maybe a feeding cup, jar of baby food and rusks?

As for no baby food in the house, what about mashing whatever you're going to have -just for today- and re-stock tomorrow?

I know you said you like your OH to look after the kids so you can clean the house once a week. What about, you have a bath when kids are in bed and he does housework then? So that the once a week he is out with kids you either a) have family outing or b) meet friends away from kids?

pigpen

Lalaladybird wrote: »

I am really appreciating all the great suggestions and so glad no-ne has said that I just sound really incompetent!

PMSL.. ok.. so it is possible you are just incompetent.. but unlikely.. cos I have days like that and I am wonderful and competent

jinky67

pigpen wrote: »

PMSL.. ok.. so it is possible you are just incompetent.. but unlikely.. cos I have days like that and I am wonderful and competent

No you are an evil mum:p:p:p:p