Does life have to be like this? (because this is not fun)

Lalaladybird

I have 2 kids a toddler and a baby (8 months) ....today has been like this....

Got up, got kids dressed and fed, listened to toddler moan constantly and baby whine constantly if she's not being fed or getting attention therefore messy house just getting worse because they quickly add to the mess but don't give me a moment to clean it up. Was due to meet a friend today so I said I'd meet her somewhere because I needed to get out of the house just because if the children are distracted they don't make as many demands (which I want to meet because I want them to be happy).

To get out of the house I had to pack up a bag of their essential stuff....couldn't find half the stuff. Got them into the car then realised I had my slippers on, found my shoes and off we went. Stopped for petrol and couldn't find my loyalty card (because my bag is such a mess )so missed out on points! Grrrr!

Arrived at the shop and met my friend and headed to the restaurant. Fed our babies, got our food. Couldn't actually chat anyway because of the childrens requirements and the baby spilled a cup of juice, I knocked over a cup of coffee, food everywhere (I felt sorry for the people sitting near us and even apologised).

Then we wandered round the shop....very stressful chasing after the kids and trying not to let them bother other people.

Then decided to head home...not that I was looking forward to getting home! I accidentally locked my car keys in the boot of the car while loading everything up and had to pull off the parcel shelf and lean over. Set off only to realise I had left some purchases behind. Went home anyway and I am typing up this feeling so stressed out because baby is crying for attention and toddler is pulling all the books off the shelf. But needed to get this out in the hope that someone can give me some advise! Today wasn't unusual, very typical in fact. Is this what most mums lives are like I wonder, just that they cope better?

ETA....just went to give the baby dinner to find I have no baby food in the house AAAAAAAAAAH!

kelloggs36

Oh dear, you have had a very bad day today!!!! My tip is to always have the bag ready, so you can pick it up at a moment's notice and go. Clear bag out regularly - put points card in your purse so you can do it when you pay without having to search!!! Are you a single parent? If not, have your other half help out if possible!!!!! Don't stress too much about untidiness - just make sure essentials are clean all the time - ie kitchen and bathroom. Get other half to do some housework!

McKneff

Get a sling for the baby and do you housework with her in it.

Calm down.

themull1

Let toddler help you clean, they love doing that, when they're asleep, you need to organise your stuff so you know where things are. Do you have a partner/family who can help?

Bennifred

This too will pass...............:cool:

YORKSHIRELASS

Sending you a hug. I dont know whether this really helps or not but it does get easier I promise. I was in a cafe recently and there was a lady trying to bottle feed her baby and at the same time trying to sort out a toddler who was having a major tantrum in a high chair. I felt really sorry for her because that was me once.

Sometimes the smallest things make all the difference. Dont try to be superwoman. Something simple like spending half an hour sorting out the changing bag or tidying one room can make all the difference. Get your OH on board if you have one. Read the flylady threads on the OS board for some advice on getting the house sorted out a bit.

If all else fails do what you did today and get out of the house. If you have a park or open space let the toddler run off steam and fingers crossed the baby might go to sleep in the pushchair. OK the mess will still be there when you come back but you might feel a bit more able to tackle it.

I think one problem is that us Mums are not honest enough with each other. I always think that everyone else has a cleaner, tidier house than me but they are probably just better at charging around picking stuff up before I visit! I had a lot of days when mine were little when I felt like I couldnt cope, but its not easy to admit it at the time. I did survive though and my boys are 10 and 12 now and have turned out fine. I am lucky that 80% of the time they are best friends and entertain each other really well. In fact last half term I felt a bit bored because they didnt really need me!

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you. I am sure you will look back one day and think "how did I manage!!". We all go through it. Good luck.

jcr16

try not to worry we all have bad day's. just sounds like a little bit of being disorgnaised today rather than anything that can't be changed.

try not to worry about any of the mess, then once little one's in bed, tidy up, it will then be tidy for the morning. i have always found if im out next day it better to get bag and stuff i need sorted the night before when the little ones are in bed.

As for babies food, ur little one is 8 months, just mash up some of your evening meal for ur little one.

as for the loyalty points, just keep the recipt and get them added the next time your in there.

when my little ones were little i had 3 under 4 and i found everything went smoothly as long as i was organised. the times when i wasn't organised it would all go really pete tong, but just a case of take a deep breath and relax, often there not much else you can do about it.

why not arrange a meeting with your friend once ur little ones are in bed, either get a sitter or arrange to go to one anothers house. if your friend has children they won't worry about the mess but will just enjoy the company.

pigpen

Does the baby not have a day time nap when you can have a quick whizz through? I find in half an hour i can have the washer, dryer, dishwasher loaded and fill a bag of rubbish empty bins and get dinner prepped. I tend to try to keep on tp of the kitchen and the room the baby is in most of the time. And instead of collapsing once they are in bed sort the living room for haf an hour and then collapse.. kick toys into a heap in the corner, run vacuum round the room, remove pots and laundry load washer and dryer and wash pots again.. things look so much less offensive with a bit of organisation.

When you get back from an outting refill the bag with nappies, snacks etc so it is always ready.

keep cards altogether in a separate wallet or in your purse.. take the receipt next time and get the points added.

I make list for everything.. so I can ask other people to do a few bits. There isn't enough of me to go around so they have to chip in.

toddlers are great with a damp cloth.. they clean everything in sight.. set him to task.. and you can have him help put the books back when he has finished 'reading'.. they don't learn unless you show them!

And let the baby scream... I am yet to hear of one exploding due to a tantrum.. and believe me mine can tantrum. I leave m 7 month old to cry if I am busy.. she won't come to any harm but she has to learn I cannot carry her around 24/7.. she weighs too much for a start!

And in a few months it will all be completly different again.

Counting_Pennies_2

You have incredibly young children, it is going to happen.

Try very hard not to fight it, and if possible run with it.

In terms of getting things done in the house, it isn't going to happen in the day, and give yourself a break and let it go to pot. When they are in bed spend just 10 minutes each night doing a full on tidy up. That is all it will take honestly if you do the 10 minutes each night. I used to despair, but it you get in a routine of just ten minutes it does work.

In terms of your outings, I think you will find going to shops are not the nicest of outings and you will end up finding new things to do. Now the weather is getting nicer, trips to the park are great, and shopping gets done on the internet. I spent nearly two years without going for a proper shop. Clothes, food, household items all got done on line, and sent back if not suitable.

This stage does end and you will get your life back. It is hard, it doesn't happen over night, but eventually you will get into a different mindset, your mind will automatically get organised into the routine.

In terms of bags for going out, do them the night before when children are in bed. For mine, I find just before I go to bed I do a check list. I make our lunch the night before. Sandwiches are made and put in the fridge. Clothes are put out and placed on a sofa downstairs. Shoes are found. Bags are packed and everything is either placed on a hook near the front door, or on the floor near the door.

In terms of cards, my children kept taking my purse out of my bag, so I now have two purses. A credit card in each, and my loyalty cards are placed in a mans credit card wallet.

Go easy on yourself. Do activities that you won't get so worried about the children misbehaving, and suddenly they will be loving their surroundings, you will relax more, and the stress will go.

take care
x

tizerbelle

OP, I have nothing practical to add to the other posters (I don't have kids) but please don't worry about it. Even without kids I have days like that. It's taken me all day to catch up on the washing up (there's only me, two dogs and a cat here), tidy the kitchen and sweep and mop the floor. The rest of the house is a tip; I have no clean undies for work tomorrow; the cat is on the verge of refusing to use his litter tray as it hasn't been cleaned in 3 days; I have no food in the house for me, did manage to get cat and dog food in but forgot food for me. Oh and as for the car keys, took the dogs out yesterday morning to the park and managed to lock them and the keys in the car!

You have my utmost respect for coping with two young kids and not only managing to write a coherent post but actually getting out of the house in the first place - even if it was only to have a nightmare day.

Lalaladybird

Thank you all so much for the supportive replies. Yes I have an OH but he works a lot of hours but when he is here he is helpful (except with my one big request which is to take them both out of the house once a week so I can get housework done!). Baby has a nap in the morning but I try to spend some one on one time with my toddler at that time and the afternoon nap has to be out in the buggy or car or it just won't happen unfortunately. I need to try to get everything done once they're both in bed but most nights I'm just so exhausted I don't do it but then I start the next day at a disadvantage!

I am really appreciating all the great suggestions and so glad no-ne has said that I just sound really incompetent!