Please Please help me - husband walked out earlier today

demir2424

sjc3 wrote: »

Would be very interested to know how you do that. A friend of mine is in the middle of a messy divorce and I am sure she would like that applied to her kids passports.

Sorry I feel like I am taking over lindyloos thread again- I will ask my solicitor as I feared my ex would take my babies abroad whilst I was at work. I will pm you as soon as I find out - I think it's to do with passport services and their child abduction policy.

nsimpson123

Hi lindyloo77,
My husband left me and my children last year, so I know exactly how you are feeling, from my experience you need to put your emotions to one side for now and get the practical things sorted, I found the tax credits people really helpful, they sorted my claim out really quickly and I had money through within a couple of weeks, also you need to contact the council tax office , you will get a 25% discount for only one adult in the household, also I would advise you open a bank account in your name only.
You will be able to get a free 30 minute appointment with a solicitor who will be able to help with regards to your home! I am still in our family home and my ex pays half the mortgage and 20% of his net income for child maintenance, I do struggle to balance the books but it is worth it to me to be able to keep the kids in some sort of normality.
Please talk to friends and family about how your feeling, try not to bottle your feelings up, sometimes talking to someone else puts another perspective on things and helps a lot.
You will come through this xx

Zepheranthe

Change the locks, he no longer lives there and has no right of access.

Believe me he will try to get back in at some point probably when you are out in order to retrieve something.

nsimpson123

Zepheranthe wrote: »

Change the locks, he no longer lives there and has no right of access.

Believe me he will try to get back in at some point probably when you are out in order to retrieve something.

He may no longer live there, but if his name is on the mortgage he still has a right to enter the house, I don't think you can 'legally' change the locks.

elsien

Zepheranthe wrote: »

Change the locks, he no longer lives there and has no right of access.

I'm fairly sure that this is incorrect. He may not be living there at the moment but it's still his house as much as the OP's and he does have the right to enter and retrieve his belongings. Please take legal advice before you start changing locks or taking any other such measures.

Zepheranthe

You may be right in my case it was rented with only my name on the agreement.

What if the OP felt threatened???

lindyloo77

My husband is 13 years older than me, the woman he is now having a thing with is closer to his own age. I have had treatment on and off for years due to my depression. I find I recover and then something will set it off again. I am an anxious person but it is only lately that I have felt my husband sometimes feeds my anxieties. In the last couple of months I have wanted to take control of how I feel and look at the underlying reasons for my recurrent depression. I have an appointment with a psychological department next week in the hope of starting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.
I have lost wieght and started taking more pride in myself and I thought he was happy about this. He says I'm just too much hard work and over analyse everything.
Sorry I'm rambling 37hrs with no sleep and enough tears to float away on. I love my husband and believe in my marriage vows, which is why i wanted him to stay, unfortunatley he doesnt seem to want to work at the marriage and i can't force him. I'm fighting the urge to ring and beg him to come back. He's the one who cheated and I end up feeling i'm to blame.
The girls uniforms are washed and ironed ready for the morning. Will try to keep to a normal routine for them but I won't be going to work tomorrow.
I am exhausted and have never felt pain like this, thank you for your support and advice.

backinbusiness

You are bound to be all over the place at the moment.

Well done on getting organised for tomorrow - baby steps and normality (as far as you can) for the children at the moment.

Don't make any rash decisions in the very early days.

You may well find that being in control of your own destiny is quite liberating!

The very best of luck, and cliche or not - time is a great healer.

bib x

nsimpson123

linyloo my thoughts are with you, I was exactly the same as you this time last year I begged and cried, but 12 months on I realise it was for the best, don't get me wrong I hate being on my own, but my husband also dragged me down, you will come through this a much stronger person, and you have to do it for your children, tomorrow wont be easy, make yourself a list of what you want to do and try and get things ticked off it, and remember the people on the end of the phone are human, - I cried many a time to complete strangers, but everyone was really nice to me, ooh apart from one woman at o2 who wouldnt help me to change my mobile into my own name!! but she'll get her comeuppence - lol

space_rider

sjc3 wrote: »

Would be very interested to know how you do that. A friend of mine is in the middle of a messy divorce and I am sure she would like that applied to her kids passports.

I had a letter lodged with the passport office to say that my children weren`t to be issued with new passports unless I said they were lost. My ex wanted their passports but refused to say where he was taking them. I knew he would say they were lost which is why I did this. He did indeed try to get replacement passports. It cost him the money in application fees but he didn`t get new passports.