Please Please help me - husband walked out earlier today

lindyloo77

Not sure this the right place to post this but really need help, i'm desperate.
I have suffered with depression on and off for the past 11 years since having my eldest daughter. Today my husband basically told me I'm a rubbish wife and he's met someone who makes him happy . I told him if he gave "her" up I would work at being a "better Wife" but he couldn't have his cake and eat it. He said he wasn't willing to give her up, packed his bags, gave our 2 daughters a kiss and left.
I think he wants the house, I can't afford it anyway. I work in a school and only earn £6700pa. I don;t know what I'm doing I don't know what advice I need. I just feel I need help. Please.

harry7075

I'd go and see a good lawyer!

karenx

Firstly cancel your joint tax credits claim and claim as a single parent.
Secondly you are due maintenance from him, check on csa website theres a calculator. Input his income details and it will give you how much he is due you per week. Ask him for this, if he refuses then call CSA and make a claim with them. They will persue him on your behalf.
Is the house mortgaged? See a lawyer about where you stand with this as you may be able to keep it

harry7075

As you put Her in inverted commas has he entered a same sex relationship. Before everyone jumps on my back I only ask as he may have been hiding his feelings for a long time. In which case his anger and frustration has been vented at you.

cte1111

You poor thing, what an awful thing to happen. I think the first thing I would do is ring a friend and ask them to come round. You must be in shock and a sympathetic ear would hopefully help.

With regards to money etc, you should first ring the tax credits people and tell them about your change in circumstances. How many hours per week do you work? If you work 16 hours or more, you will be entitled to tax credits to top up your income and help with childcare costs. Perhaps the next organisation to contact is the CSA, as you have 2 children, your husband will have to pay 20% of his net income to help support them.

With regards to the house, I think you really do need to see a solicitor. They will be best placed to advise you of your rights and help you look after your's and your daughters' best interests.

Look after yourself, try and rest and relax when you can, at this tough time you need to give yourself chance to grieve and space to recover.

dmg24

cte1111 wrote: »

Perhaps the next organisation to contact is the CSA, as you have 2 children, your husband will have to pay 25% of his net income to help support them.

The correct figure is 20%.

lauzellen

I'm very sorry to hear of your situation and you must be in shock! As another poster has said if you have a tax credit claim phone up first thing tomorrow to cancel the joint claim and put in a single claim.. if you don't already claim put a single claim in. So long as you normally work more than 16hrs a week you will be entitled to working tax credits as well as the child tax credits - income from child maintenance is not counted for tax credits purposes if you do manage to come to an arrangement.

Definately seek legal advice re the house etc.

I hope you and your two girls are as ok as can be x

chelldavies

Very good advice already given above especially about getting support from friends and then maybe check turn2us for benefit/financial advice.

Good luck hun and make sure you use this board for support, there's always plenty willing to give

quietheart

Oh what a horrible situation to be in.
There will be folk along shortly who have direct experience and they will help you through but in the meantime have a great big hug - :grouphug:
If there's a positive to be found in this at least when you have rebuilt your life for you and your daughters you are free to meet someone who'll treat you better.

danaharrison

i cant give u any advice re money except as others have said get a good solicitor. i know its a terrible time but dont blame yourself, none of this is your doing, try to be strong for yourself and your children the last thing any of you need right now is for you to become ill from this. take care of yourself hun big hugs xxx

cassieB57

If you work under 16 hours and one of your children is under 7yrs you may claim Income Support. Ring 0800 0556688 to claim and ask for backdating to today.

He can talk about being a "rubbish wife"; at least YOU haven't walked out and left your partner and children; I know which I think is more rubbish at being a spouse!