What to do?

liney

Your post is too long to quote so just a few points: You are both effectively unemployed at the moment as you have worked only 3 days in the last 3 months so you have plenty of time to work on your relationship. This also means there is no reason why you can't mind the children instead of your MIL.

Your partner can have a taxi waiting for the sake of the minimum fare at the end of the night, but i'm still intrigued if the place is so awful why you chose to go there 3 nights a week yourself.

brisy72

i would love to look after my children ..

as mentioned i only go there to play snooker untill im sent a text to come to the house which is 2mins away,,,,

i can asure you its not by choice,

i would rather be with my family and instead of paying rent where i am now i could give her £100 pounds a week

meplus5

Ok for an update, I wanted my ex partner to see other peoples points of view, I don't think it's helped in the way I wanted but it has opened my eyes to how much of a controlling, bullying relationship I was in. I went to the club for 2 hours last night and it was fine no flirting or trouble yes mainly men but playing skittles, snooker and watching football quietly.

I had over 15 phone calls and 17 texts from my ex in that time ranging from nice to nasty.

I have no idea what day job he's referring to.

As for the boots, not been worn and ready to return. I was told they were a present on the same week he spent over £200 on clothes for himself for the weekend.

He buys his children sweets every week, thats not support.

My mother is only 61 and and is just looking after the children to have an adult in the house so I feel safer. It's not pressure on her. The younger two settle perfectly well with the teenagers.

Not once did my ex mention meeting me to help me lock up the club and keep me safe.

Thank you for all your replies, I knew deep down what was happening I just felt submersed in it all and needed some clarity.

I dont think my ex is a bad person deep down but I have asked him to get some help.

brisy72

all i was trying to do was make are family closer,,,

i love you and wanted to sort are problems

i

Money_maker

meplus5 wrote: »

I went to the club for 2 hours last night
I had over 15 phone calls and 17 texts from my ex in that time ranging from nice to nasty.

Brisy - just these few words would send cold shivers down my back - 15 phone calls and 17 texts :eek: - you do have a problem whether you admit it or not.

OP - if you are working then turn the phone to silent or off. If it weren't for the kids then I'd suggest you change your sim. This sort of behaviour is not normal and you can't be bought off. Your life, your choices.

brisy72

the texts were mostly saying i love you,,

and i would do anything to keep are family together,,,

ive just been told its over for good and she doesn"t love me.

paddy's_mum

I'm perplexed how you manage your money. You're not on benefits, and had only three days work in the past three months and yet you imply that you pay £100 a week rent, as well as found £40 last week for a pair of boots.

Can I politely suggest that you join the Old Style board since it is quite clear that you are a wonderful manager/stretcher of a small income and that we could all learn a great deal from you.

brisy72

im living on my savings

southoftheriver

brisy72 wrote: »

the texts were mostly saying i love you,,

and i would do anything to keep are family together,,,

ive just been told its over for good and she doesn"t love me.

You wouldn't do anything. You would only do what suits you it seems. Your desperation to make your partner love you is suffocating any chance you have of making things work. Incessant texting and calling when you know she is at work is not the way.

I really think it would be best for you both to take your discussions (about your relationship in particular) away from here and talk in private, preferably with someone impartial there.

brisy72

i agree and thanks for your input