What to do?

ninky_2

i don't think i'd want to work in a job that was basically waiting on drunk leery blokes - especially if it was late nights. if this is the case, can't you find a different job? i can sort of understand why your partner might not like you doing this kind of cheap work. however, if it's not like that (i don't know the specific social club you mention but there are some near us that are pretty grim tbh) then you need to tell him to take a hike.

balletshoes

meplus5 wrote: »

Hi i didn't expect so many fast replies, thank you. His 1st reason was that he wouldn't be able to handle men trying to flirt with me ( his words ). Since I replied that I am a grown woman who is able to say no he has thrown every reason he can think of at me, it's unfair on my mum, Im taking time away from the kids and him, he wont be able to go there anymore and I'm being selfish to name a few. I've said if it was not a nice place to be I would leave.
He has said he will give me money not to do it but he's promised that many times before with different jobs and things and its never happened. I'm just trying to make sure I do the right thing.

thats all complete nonsense from him, and if he truly believes that he will get jealous because men are looking at you (!!!!!!???) and thats why you can't work there, consider dumping him yourself, before he feels he has to act on his jealousy. Jealousy is not about love, its about control.

minerva_windsong

I agree with everyone else. Take the job and if he doesn't like it then you and your children are better off without him. He's shown himself to be unreliable about money in the past and I agree with the poster who said that he wants it all his own way and to act like a single man while you stay at home with the kids, which to me sound like perfectly good grounds to take the job.

Yes he may be saying this to cover up his own behaviour, whether that's another woman or something else, but if he is (and that's a very big if, and I do hope that he isn't) you'd find out eventually somehow, if not through this job then local gossip or some other way.

paddy's_mum

No insult to the OP intended at all but hasn't it occurred to him yet that the easiest way to make sure other blokes don't get too out of line is to be clearly and obviously a big part of your life.

I'm afraid that I agree with many other responders on this thread who wonder if his opposition is because he knows only too well what he and his mates get up to with some barmaids!

I have in the past been a barmaid myself, working in our community centre's social/lounge section for such things as summer fetes, the occasional wake or party etc. When you take this job, be prepared to discover things about your neighbours' husbands that you would never have credited if some gossip had told you a juicy titbit. Many a barmaid knows the secrets of her village or community!!

blunther

Sounds like a jealous controlling loser. No offence. Get out.

puppypants

Take the job, dump the bloke!!!

NAR

. . . and with any luck you will meet someone nicer who will treat you properly.

Love_A_Bargain

Lots of good responses here, I think you should take the job too, you can't depend on these men at all and its so hard getting a job these days. Just let him know that you need it for extra money to take care of bills etc. Then its up to him, but my dear go ahead with the job. Good luck!

scooby088

My OH was going to apply to a pub just down the road from me, i advised her not to as i know this pub is full of thugs who wouldn't think twice of hitting a woman or even stabbing a woman. I know that she can handle herself physically but thats not the point her safety was paramount in my mind and also with living only about 50 yards from the pub if theres any retribution from a drunkard it will no doubt be our home that'll have damage done to it.

I can understand the OP's OH but he does come over as controlling, i for one would take the job as you need it to atleast make you and your child lives a bit more comfortable.

thorsoak

If he cannot commit himself enough to live with you and HIS children by now - dump him - try the job - if the job's no good, then leave - you'll be no worse off - in fact you would be better off because you will have off-loaded a control freak!