OS Daily Monday 21st Feb

cookie54

hi redruby,

it might be worth giving your mum time to think ? Are the people she is visiting fully aware of what is going on or are they just thinking of your mum . Has she had a carers assessment as to see what her needs are ?
Have you considers trying to put your dad in daycare for a couple of days a wk and then geting your mum a cleaner and shopper so she can enjoy the rest ?
Does you mum view putting your dad in care as the easy OPTION ( I NOW ITS NOT) and then her getting all the support / care / time that your are giving your dad and you making all the decisions for her like you are for your dad.
have you talked about the money side because i am sure she will be worse off and and she is already in debt

candygirl

RUBY hun I feel so much for you hun:(:(:(If your Mum has decided about the home, she must have reached the end of her tether.As for the debt, try not to worry too much about it at the mo, CBA were brill when we had to sort similar stuff with my Dad:(Pm me anytime hun:A:A

taplady

RosyRed wrote: »

Taplady- make the most of this week with your Mum,but does her move to Devon mean you can have minibreaks by the sea more often ?

x

yes!:j:j:j

JackieO wrote: »

Taplady we are staying at a place called Bockleton, near Tenbury Wells.I am hoping there are some nice walks nearby as we both like walking ,in my case as long as its not too hilly.We also like National Trust places, charity shops and anywhere there are bookshops.Plus I'm hoping the weather will brighten up by then as well,around six week time I think
Hope everyone is having a good day

JackieO - that's the town I live in:D Bockleton is right in the countryside - DH delivers milk there, its about 3 miles from the town I think. We have a great little bookshop in our town:T I'll PM you a few details about the area if you like plus where all the best charity shops are!;) I could post you some leaflets about places to visit if you want - just let me know.:)

Redruby - (((hugs))) I'm so sorry for you and your sister, what a sad situation to be in. Your poor Dad. x x x x

Dazi - hope you feel better soon x

candy - glad you got cuggles with Boo x x x

had a nice day at work - went to the Snoezelen centre and spent an hour on the waterbed:D then went to a garden centre for coffee.

Just cooked tea, DH very tired and had slept all afternoon once he got in from his milkround. Its pouring down here.

have a nice evening all x

jaxx46

RedRuby (((hugs))) x

LameWolf

Redruby I wish there was something I could say/do to make it all go away for you. (((((HUGS)))))

redruby

cookie54 wrote: »

hi redruby,

it might be worth giving your mum time to think ? Are the people she is visiting fully aware of what is going on or are they just thinking of your mum . Has she had a carers assessment as to see what her needs are ?
Have you considers trying to put your dad in daycare for a couple of days a wk and then geting your mum a cleaner and shopper so she can enjoy the rest ?
Does you mum view putting your dad in care as the easy OPTION ( I NOW ITS NOT) and then her getting all the support / care / time that your are giving your dad and you making all the decisions for her like you are for your dad.
have you talked about the money side because i am sure she will be worse off and and she is already in debt

thanks, I think the people she is visiting (her brother) have only heard her side of the story, and naturally tell her what she wants to hear, neither him or his wife have seen my dad for years, I also think its easier for mum to say put him in a home, as she is not having to see his face

She has had a carers assesment, but her sw is hopeless, and has not put anything into practice, (we have complained about her) dad was booked into 2 days at a centre, but mum kept cancelling that and the night staff because dad had been ill.

I think she may think putting dad into care is the easy option, and that we will continue on like we are now,which will not happen, and yes she will be much worse off financially.

Sis has suggested that we continue to see dad as much as we can, but if mum decides to put him in a home then she will have to tell him that himself, its not fair of her to keep asking us these things.

As I said, its easy to make that decision when you are hundreds of miles away


Thanks for listening everyone xx

jackieglasgow

Redruby I am heart sorry for what your family is going through just now. xxx

Molly41

Redruby - sending you a huge hug. It might be that your mum changes her mind or that she decides that she cannnot cope longterm and you have to consider a home for your dad but that there will be one that suits him better. It is such a difficult situation for you all. If you can choose a home out of crisis, involving your dad then it might be a better option for him. Your mum obviously has problems too. I know what you mean about running away but just take it a step at a time, look after yourself, eat and sleep properly. It will get sorted eventually x

redruby

I dont mean to sound nasty about my mum , I know she has been through a terrible time, and has had to cope with more than us, but it is also mum who is cancelling all the help, and then asking sis and I to do everything for her.

camelot1001

Redruby - What a horrible situation for you. Don't know that I can say anything that will help apart from that you are in my thoughts. Take care. XX