How much do you live on per month?

curlygirl1971

I've read through most of this thread and just wanted to say a big thankyou to Lucy1010 and also ani 26 and the rest of the frequent posters for sharing info and being so open. It's been a really interesting read and food for thought - it's made me look at my budget with a new determination to squeeze out waste and unnecessary spending. (Some people would be horrified with what I spend on food which I've got to drop recently from £30 per week to £25 - thats mostly for me but sometimes also my BF who is a big meat eater.)

I'm not in debt and at the present my budget isn't tight but I do want to get the most out of my money and appreciate my financial situation as it's likely to change for the worst. I also want to ensure that I do the best for myself in the future. In the past I've been on a much tighter budget than now and really struggled - and it got me down - I just thought I was in a downward spiral that I'd never be able to get out of. I wish I'd known of this forum back then - it would have been a huge help and not least to know that I wasn't alone.

I was single for a very long time but I'm 39 now and have a lovely BF (who I don't live with). When I was single I had times where I went out and times when I didn't. Throughout my 20's I had 3 close friends in similar circumstances and we went out....alot!

One was earning a decent salary and could cope financially...just. The rest of us (3) earned low amounts and lived at home. 2 of us were in a lot of debt - mainly comfort buying (Next Directory!). I wasn't - this isn't me being big-headed. I believe escaping debt is a mixture of many things including luck - it could have all been so different so I don't feel as if I did much 'right', more that I was lucky.

I was also extremely focused on saving to get my own house - when we went out I would volunteer to drive and then I wouldn't drink. So an evening would cost me £3 in the pub - didn't join in the alcoholic rounds which they were fine about and then whatever to get into a club sometimes. Although I loved to drink I was more concerned with seeing that savings balance go up and getting closer to my end goal - that was the bigger buzz for me - and I was fortunate in that I still had a good time (a great time actually ) sober. I did occasionally treat myself to a 'drinking' night but not at all often.

However I would say that me not drinking was one of a few factors that sadly led to the demise of our friendships - something I thought would never happen. Although they could all relate to budgetary constraints I think it was at times resented that I chose to remain sober - a bit silly really. A couple of unpleasant 'incidents' occured and over a period of time our little group 'failed' - I was gutted. Devastated actually. By that time I was in my own place but really struggling with my budget and so it was kind of a blessing to not be going out -however I did get pretty miserable. This was my early 30's and lasted a couple of years.

I then found a Dance club that I could go to on my own (lessons first and then was able to go social dancing at the weekend) and it transformed my life and I also developed friendships there and also found two boyfriends (one @rseh0le :rotfl:and then my current BF). However it was a real struggle to fit it into my budget. But I was careful and frugal and I made it work - how my social life made me feel was worth it's weight in gold. I later went on to 'work' for the dance club so it only cost me a soft drink and petrol.

Things got easier 3 years ago when I was offered a job on a much better salary - god that was such a relief. Looking at your SOA it seems we are on pretty similar incomes. Some of my extra salary was eaten up purely by cost of living (food & fuel) and some of my extra salary I have been squirreling away. This job won't last for ever and I want to be prepared for that.

Through-out my life I've know people who don't seem to know what a budget is, don't understand 'I can't afford, therefore I can't do' and have been happy to put me under pressure or even make me feel bad.....and that used to work, but I've got better at not caring what they think. Every one of the people who've had that attitude were upto their eyeballs in debt and had not had a LBM....and they're not my friends any more - I think because they wanted someone to join them on their downward spiral. Don't get me wrong - I have friends with debts - the difference is their attitude towards it.

I think one thing I've learned is that life is full of change - good and bad. When you go through the bad times and especially when you are single I think you feel as if life is always going to be like that. But it's not. At the present everything is good for me - great BF and good income. But I don't take those things for granted - things have been up and down for me in the past and you just never know what's round the corner.

Sorry to go on so much , obviously some of what has been discussed on this thread I could relate to (eg splitting the bill on meals out!).

Quite honestly I think that if you are servicing your debt and are able to reduce the term, I don't think that as a single person you (both Lucy1010 and Beachie) shouldn't feel bad about allowing yourself a social budget if you can - life is for living - but do yourself a favour and do it in a 'sensible' way - as you've already discovered - only you can look after your money - it's on no-one elses agenda.

I hope very much that you continue to share your journey with us (don't mean that in a cheesey way)

curlygirl1971

mildredalien wrote: »

I think people worry too much that other people are having 'exciting lives' when I bet most people who have active days (working/looking after the kids etc.) just flump onto the sofa in the evenings! I like a quiet life personally and am happy curled up on the sofa with a book, TV or the MSE forums....

ani_26 wrote: »

The trouble is, there are so many expectations in soceity, with people wanting us to be and act, something we are not. If your happy with chillout time watching tv or whatever, what does it matter what anyone else thinks? No one else can tell you how to think or behave.

I think you both hit the nail on the head here. Single people always think Married life is easier/happier and Married people always think Single people are surely having or should be having a whale of a time!

curlygirl1971

beachie wrote: »

Think that's what I need to do. Maybe join some more clubs? I like photography and such like.

Beachie - be careful! I think photography can be a real solitary activity. I 'encouraged' my BF to take it up and am now regretting it - I usually end up sat on a bench with another random woman who has been left holding the equipment for 30 mins at a time whilst they try and get the perfect shot. Taking it up for myself is out of the question - if I did I would have to ensure endless conversations about filters and lenses and blah blah blah

ani_26

curlygirl1971 wrote: »

I've read through most of this thread and just wanted to say a big thankyou to Lucy1010 and also ani 26 and the rest of the frequent posters for sharing info and being so open. It's been a really interesting read and food for thought - it's made me look at my budget with a new determination to squeeze out waste and unnecessary spending. (Some people would be horrified with what I spend on food which I've got to drop recently from £30 per week to £25 - thats mostly for me but sometimes also my BF who is a big meat eater.)

Maybe its not such a good idea to share info and be so open. I've had my misgivings all along. It leaves you vulnerable, without a shadow of a doubt.

beachie

curlygirl1971 wrote: »

Beachie - be careful! I think photography can be a real solitary activity. I 'encouraged' my BF to take it up and am now regretting it - I usually end up sat on a bench with another random woman who has been left holding the equipment for 30 mins at a time whilst they try and get the perfect shot. Taking it up for myself is out of the question - if I did I would have to ensure endless conversations about filters and lenses and blah blah blah

I am already one of those guys who get out at random times and wait for the perfect shot with my DSLR. I have a website and sell some photos online.
I also occasionally do photoshoots for people as well.

I am not in a club though. There is one at work and countless others in the area I live in so would be good chance to new people.

Souk08

Lucy just read back on the stuff from last night and have to say that I DO have a great social life, because I made that happen.
I came back to the UK from working overseas 3 years ago and only had 2 mates here. One weekend they were both busy doing other stuff and I didn't speak to a living soul from leaving work on Friday to going back on the Monday. I was so lonely and bored and realised how important company and friends are to me so I went to various groups, met friends through work and gradually developed a really good circle of mates BUT I had to work at it. I had to invite them over for dinner, or out for coffee or a few drinks and yes it cost money and took time but it was crucial to me to have a social life so I had to do it.
I've never been one for relationships so my mindset to all that is different. If I want to see a film or cook a lovely dinner for myself I do it because I EXPECT to be on my own and so am not waiting to be with a man to do stuff IYSWIM. I like the physical bit so I have people to do that with but all the lovey, dovey stuff is just not my bag (yes I am female!).
Re what to do on a Saturday night...whatever YOU want is the answer. Dont worry about other people and what they're doing and try things for yourself. I think society certainly expects certain things of us but I'm not at all bothered by that. I love seeing friends and having fun so I do that, within my budget (mostly) but if I loved staying in surfing the tinternet or gaming or whatever then I'd do that too. It's your life and as a single girl you can do what you like!
I've lived alone since 2004 and I couldn't imagine not doing so, for what it's worth. Oh and I don't backpack either girl X

ani_26

Are you ok today Lucy1010? xx

Budgets, budgets, budgets. The more i read this thread, the harder i conceive having a budget, myself. The more i'm thinking about nsd's saving £2 coins, sealed pot challenge, all the rest of it its for someone else. Definitely not me, right now. Everyone else is going in the opposite direction, to me. I had 4 £2 coins in my purse, two weeks ago, which is very unusual, so i thought to myself, i'll save them and join the £2 coin savers thread. But i'm not in a position to save anything, yet. When you have nothing, of course, the £2 coins were spent. Maybe people don't believe someone could be in this position. But they could.

But i'm getting to the stage in my life, where i don't ever want to be in this position again, and i'm going to fight hard to stay out of it, now. I've not come this far, to give up the little i have, because other people say i should.


So, budgets? I can't see me actively saying i'll live on £xxx's a month, because my first consideration will always be for travel expenses. bills etc, and whatever is left over, if there is any left over, will be spent on food. Its a long time since i've had leisure or entertainment, so that does'nt focus in my budget at all. You'll all probably say it should. Maybe it should. But whatever, my food shop won't be a huge amount, as i only buy exactly what i need now. So maybe i'll spend say £20 a week, £80 a month? I'm sure thats probably a reasonable amount to live on, for one person. Even though on the soa's, does'nt it say something ridiculous like £250 per month? I've always found that quite amusing.

For today, i feel very guilty because i DID do a food shop yesterday. Out of the small amount i received on friday, i was going to spend £20 on petrol. But i went to buy some cheap apples, oranges, potatoes, etc, and ended up spending more than i anticipated, as i was out of fruit juice, milk etc. So i spent £10 on food, ( and its a month or so, since i've spent anywhere near that amount, i can't even remember), which left me £10 for petrol unfortunately, which has risen to a ridiculous amount. One thing is for sure i can't and won't live like this for ever, as i've spent the last couple of years living like this, and i'm not willing to do it anymore. I've had enough.

ani_26

Souk08 wrote: »

Lucy just read back on the stuff from last night and have to say that I DO have a great social life, because I made that happen.
I came back to the UK from working overseas 3 years ago and only had 2 mates here. One weekend they were both busy doing other stuff and I didn't speak to a living soul from leaving work on Friday to going back on the Monday. I was so lonely and bored and realised how important company and friends are to me so I went to various groups, met friends through work and gradually developed a really good circle of mates BUT I had to work at it. I had to invite them over for dinner, or out for coffee or a few drinks and yes it cost money and took time but it was crucial to me to have a social life so I had to do it.
I've never been one for relationships so my mindset to all that is different. If I want to see a film or cook a lovely dinner for myself I do it because I EXPECT to be on my own and so am not waiting to be with a man to do stuff IYSWIM. I like the physical bit so I have people to do that with but all the lovey, dovey stuff is just not my bag (yes I am female!).
Re what to do on a Saturday night...whatever YOU want is the answer. Dont worry about other people and what they're doing and try things for yourself. I think society certainly expects certain things of us but I'm not at all bothered by that. I love seeing friends and having fun so I do that, within my budget (mostly) but if I loved staying in surfing the tinternet or gaming or whatever then I'd do that too. It's your life and as a single girl you can do what you like!
I've lived alone since 2004 and I couldn't imagine not doing so, for what it's worth. Oh and I don't backpack either girl X

Thats exactlythe mindset Souk08 x


Shame about the backpacking though

clippy_girl

you are obv an active person lucy, have you thought about dancing? like what curly girl said, i wanted a new socialable hobby so started salsa. it only costs me £5 per week for a lesson and eveyone is very friendy (admitibly i only really know the guys as we all rotate partners!) but they do social events most weekends which are either free or about £5. once you feel comfortable you could go and would allow you to do something different, get out the house and if you drive and have soft drinks could be cheap. i would not normally go to a bar and not drink but think i will be quite happy to do it if it was a 'salsa' night. i do the lessons with two friends but one is not around at the weekends and the other does not want to go to the socials. i have been doing it for about 2 months and think i would comfortable enough to go alone now

mildredalien

ani_26 wrote: »

Are you ok today Lucy1010? xx

Budgets, budgets, budgets. The more i read this thread, the harder i conceive having a budget, myself. The more i'm thinking about nsd's saving £2 coins, sealed pot challenge, all the rest of it its for someone else.

Sounds like you are having a real tough time of it Ani

It seems that for someone who is struggling to live on a very little amount, a budget is the ONLY way to cope though? A budget doesn't have to mean saving money, or setting aside money for 'entertainment' or socialising, it means careful planning so that you know exactly where your money is going in a way that is sustainable.

Your SOA should reflect what you need to spend not what others do