new nanny how often visit the baby?

thebaileys

I hardly left the house for 2-3 weeks after having my son, they do seem to be packing a lot in. The baby is less than a week old, hopefully your daughter will not get too worn out.

All you can do is be there for your daughter when she needs you, and she will. Visitors will die down, your daughter will probably feel tired and need a break, Im sure you will be the person she will turn too.

Maybe she feel's a little overwhelmed at the moment, with the house being busy and full of people. I must add I think people should take a step back when baby's arrive, it is life changing, and can take time to adjust.

A few of my friends have recently had babys, although I couldn't wait to visit, I didn't straight away, and I told both of my friends I was there if they needed me.

I would keep the contact up maybe ask if she needs any shopping. I know she has her in-laws round a lot now, but in my experience in law's are in law's, a daughter always needs her Mam.

sjc3

Huge congratulations on your new grandchild. I would speak with your daughter and ask her when she would like you to visit. You know each other best. With such a tiny baby she may want to sleep as the baby does and so having set visiting times may become unmanageable or a little inconvenient.

I remember the first few weeks with my daughter in a bit of a haze. I certainly didn't have the energy or the inclination to text updates on how baby was. My family waited for me to call them and say how she was, incase we were both sleeping.

Have fun with the new little one

GEEGEE8

I actually do think you are being pushed out a bit.. It seems that they are visiting the In Laws family much more than your family.

I usually speak to my mum every other day, via text or phone.. and if I had a baby I would probably want her there every day for the first couple of weeks.

If you had a good relationship before, then maybe it's not yours and daughters relationship that is the problem, but maybe the hubby is putting pressure on about visiting his family.

I can't understand why they couldn't fit you in over the weekend.. and why didn't your daughter say, well actually I'd like my mum and dad to see the baby again as it will have been over a week by then.

Saying that, your daughter is probably not thinking logically like that at the moment.

I feel sorry for you OP, because I know my mum would feel exactly the same.

zaksmum

My daughter's just had her first baby and I would love to go round every day!

But she doesn't know if she's coming or going at the moment and sleep is a distant memory!

Fortunately she lives with her partner who's brilliant with baby, but the little darling is a screamer and we all know how exhausting THAT can be!

So I ring her each day and ask her if I can do anything or bring anything or help in any way.

Baby's 10 days old today and I'm going this afternoon, but only because my daughter said I could! Last time I went round was Monday even though she only lives a couple of miles away. She knows I'm here whenever she needs me.

sashadesade

I can understand why you're feeling a bit left out, but remember that your daughter has a lot on her plate just now. It may be that she feels pressured by her husband's family to run around introducing them all to the baby, but she thinks you'll understand if she doesn't have the time or energy to do the same with you. I'm sure it hasn't occured to her it might be hurtful.
I maintain that things will soon settle down and for the time being it's best to take a backseat whilst making sure your daughter knows you're there to help and that you're interested in how she and the baby are doing.

At the end of the day, people always rely more on those who prove themselves to be consistant and not on 'fairweather friends'.

freebiequennie

I had my little boy 6mths ago and had a c-section all our family live 200miles away my mum drove up the day after I had him and visited us in hospital for 1hr (visiting time and they wouldnt let her stay longer!!) and then went home and then when we had been home a week she came to stay for a week, that was sept we then didnt see her again til 2wks ago.

I think if my mum was closer once or twice a week would be enough just for short spells

RAS

Saint_Chris wrote: »

2 weeks ago her hubby was at work, not anymore he's just been made redundant, and he didn't get paid for his last month work.

so we gave them £600 to help them out.

Did the hubby contact ACAS about getting his pay sorted out?

So, right now hubby is not working for the first time in a while, it feels like he is on holiday and they have a new baby. Yes, the whole family will go overboard a bit.

Just take it gently and things will calm, certainly when he get work.

belfastgirl23

I wonder is your DD doing the visiting rather than having them round at her house so she can leave rather than have them stuck there all night ...there might be more going on with the frantic schedule than you think.

the other thing is that I know when I'm very tired I'm docile and do pretty much what people tell me. Maybe your DD is the same and is just agreeing to things because it's easier than actually thinking about them!

Hold tight! It will get better.

The_Next_Verse

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I wonder is your DD doing the visiting rather than having them round at her house so she can leave rather than have them stuck there all night ...there might be more going on with the frantic schedule than you think.

^^ This is EXACTLY what we did as we wanted the freedom to go when we chose.

Gigglepig

Saint_Chris wrote: »

I don't want to be a intefering mum/gran but it's all new to me as well, and i would like to pop round more than once a week, and it's not that i don't like his family as i like them, but i just don't want there to be a full house of people, which is why i don't want to go round with them.

I understand that you feel a bit hurt, but this is not about you.

Your daughter has started her own family, and you are one of many loved family members and friends who need to share her attention and time. Instead of resenting it, try feeling pleased for your daughter that her house is full of people.

If she has just had a baby it is not strange at all that she prefers to socialise in her own house. She probably has lots of visitors so it is not strange if you won't get much time alone with her and the baby until things settle down.

Also - if she has not had that much support and attention from her other half's family in the past, then it is a good thing if having the baby has brought her closer to them.

I don't have a baby but if my mother or mother in law expected me to constantly text them/tell them about about it, it would drive me nuts in no time.