Hoping for some support

tugrin

Good evning all,
Spent most of the day in a sort of headachey fuzz - not good and pills not doing much still it's over nowand I'm tucked up in bed with thelectric blanket on - I tell myself its cheaperthan heating the downstairs.
Erics mum - there isnt a focus - I asked and all I got given was a generic observation form , the sort used by Ofsted which basically says (stretched over about 15 boxes) tick here if the teachers is absolutely perfect/really good/ satisfactory/crap so no joy there. I believe they are MEANT to have a couple of specific focuses but hey, the head makes it up as he goes along!!
Deputy was off again today - funny that she had a load of data of all of us on Friday that she has to process. It siad she was ill but actually she does this so often we know shes just taking the day off for paperwork. Remember this is a primary school- a place where I stupidly thought the children were important and that you NEED TO BE AT SCHOOL to be effective, but what do I know Ive only been teaching 30 years and she's done all of 11. (Sorry for rant)
RAS thans for stovelink.
Chikilegirl - thank you for your inspiring post, you should feel extremely proud of yourself. I WISH i could submerge myself in work but I find it all so pathetic that I just end up staring at piles of pointless paperwork in a kind of daze.
If anyone has any tips on writing a really really good letter of application for a job pleas pass them on!

ERICS_MUM

Hi Tugrin,

just checking in to see how you are. Here's hoping you will have an "OK" week at work.


Linda xx

tugrin

Hi Erics Mum,
Thank you so much for checking!! Yes I am OK although now the dreaded obsevation is over I just feel drained. It was laughable really. It was an outstanding lesson ( I know when Ive done it right) but it only got 'good'. However all my colleagues say that it must have cost the head very dear to have to give it that as they all know how much he dislikes me, so at least I have the consolation of knowing my colleagues , who are all people who know what they are doing, are aware of what is going on.
I spent the w/end trying to recover and really hoped I could get out in the garden, but by the time I felt strong enough it was Sunday and raining.
I hope everyone here is OK and glad that Monday is over. Can anyone hazard a guess as to why my bathroom sink hot tap has no water coming out of it even tho' it turns? Please don't make me go over to the DIY forum, they are all so...DIY-y if you know what I m?
mean

tugrin

Im stealing a moment at school to do this. Had an AWFUL phone call with daughter last night. She was ranting on about how much money she owes and that Barclays wont extend her student o/draft because she is still showing as blacklisted by Nationwide on the joint account we had (my fault I know). -Cant afford driving lessons or the test therefore wont get job in summer-wil have to spend it 'bumming around the village' etc etc Basically its all your fault mum and I want you to know it. This even AFTER her brother had explained to her the mess Im in (I did ask if he could and dont know HOW he went about it tho) She comes home in exactly a week and usually empties the fridge evry 36 hours when shes home with no though of where the next lot of food is coming from and basically I feel like running away from my own daughter. I really don't know what to do. Just when I thought it would all calm down and I'd got myself into my little budgeting routines she explodes at me and now I dread her coming back.
PLEASE HELP SOMEONE

chrissie52

Couldn't just read and run. Oh Tugrin, the things these 'kids' put us through! The trouble is they're not kids any longer and as such (although we would love to molly-coddle and protect them from the financial problems in life) need to deal with their own financial situation.

She was ranting on about how much money she owes and that Barclays wont extend her student o/draft because she is still showing as blacklisted by Nationwide on the joint account we had (my fault I know)

Then she needs to stop spending.Does she know for FACT that it's due to the old bank account, or could it be that the bank are not willing to extend the overdraft because she's a student? Just a thought. In these straightened times I can't imagine any bank extending an overdraft further than they think the recipient can afford, especially to a student who's earning power is in the future, not now!
As to the driving lessons and test(although there's no given that she would pass;))Tough! Plenty of other people have to deal with getting a job without this and I know you are in a rural area but if she so desperately wants to work then she needs to look at staying somewhere other than home, in an area where she can find employment, possibly in her uni town(sorry don't know where she is at uni).
Think what I'm saying is now's the time for tough love she's 21 not 12 (have done it myself and know it's not easy;))
As for the fridge, fit a lock!:D
Suppose what I'm saying is that it's better she learns to deal with life now and finds out that nothing falls to you on a plate, you have to work for things.
Stay strong, hope I haven't upset you but I know it's not easy. You haven't done anything wrong, you obviously love your kids to bits, so don't let them 'push the buttons'!
Take care.

pmlindyloo

Found your thread today and wanted to add some support for you.

First, you seem to have made some good steps already (this site can become soooo addictive!) so keep going!

Wanted to say a few words about your job. I am a retired teacher (primary school) and know exactly what you are going through. I retired early as I could no longer put up with the constant stress, paperwork, targets etc etc. Us 'older' teachers are treated with utter disregard (it seems to me)and are seen as 'stuck in our ways' and 'not willing to change.' As far as I was concerned the children were my priority - not a view that seems to be held by many. Sorry for ranting! I have friends who are still teaching and going through what you are at the moment. They can't wait to retire. We have many discussions about how to get out yet still survive money wise.

For my part I chose to do supply teaching until I received my pension (not everyone's cup of tea) but at least I could go home at the end of the day and leave any problems behind.

Another of my friends took early retirement and supplemented her money by doing some supply work. And another friend does a little supply teaching and works in a supermarket.

It might be worth getting a breakdown of your expected lump sum etc etc. Look at early retirement options/supply teaching/tutoring. Explore all possibilities. In my opinion being so stressed in your job means no stone should be left unturned.

It may, of course, mean that you have to stick it out. Getting a 'good' in your assessment is amazing. Knowing you are a good teacher makes all the rest of the carp even harder. Keep your head down and have plenty of bonding sessions with colleagues who you like and respect. Remember that the Head and your line manager are being pressurised to come up with 'the goodies' so try and have a little sympathy (why am I being so nice?!!!!!!!)

Best of luck! Keep up the good work and keep posting.

tugrin

Oh Chrissie
I know you are right and she has been spoiled rotten. I dont know if I have told everyone this but I did put her through 7 years of private education - admittedly on a bursary but it still amounted to roughly the equivalent of 2 mortgages for those years and bearing in mind that was just on my teachers salary (her father contributed the odd £50 here and there but that seriously was all). I did it because I did not want her to suffer at the hands of the petite pretty (!!!!!y girls) and the pressure that exists in high schools when there are boys around. SHe is very clever and talented and although she didnt get past the Oxford interview she is doing well at Durham.
The blacklisting IS my fault I thought I had paid the bloody thing off when I moved, they wouldn'nt accept change of address in branch, mail stopped being redirected -- a real catalogue of stupidities on my part and what was a £19 o/draft ended not being paid for several months and cost me £107 to close. I wrote about it on the trying to claim back board under Nationwide Flexaccount but no one answered.
And you say lock the fridge - its no joke - she eats constantly, almost obsessively and not just plain old jam sandwiches. Maybe I should show her the de motivator on here then she might begin to realise how a mars bar a day ends up eating all you cash.
The REALLY upsetting thing is she is the best one with money in the family and lives on next to nothing at Uni andcertainly drinks almost nothing even if thats only because she is afraid it will further damage the kidney she had surgery on last year. So she sees me as a spendthrift and useless. Doesn't help that all the people she is at uni with are of course loaded because its that kind of place -- I think Durham, as an institution, actually belives it's better than Oxbridge!!!
I do love her so much and hr brother - they are the 2 people I most like to spend time with because we are all three of us so quirky and share the same rather irritating sense of humour BUT its like living with a bear who suffers from frequent unpredictable pre- menstrual lunacy when she is stressed!
And of course you haven't upset me!

RAS

tugrin wrote: »

Im stealing a moment at school to do this. Had an AWFUL phone call with daughter last night. She was ranting on about how much money she owes and that Barclays wont extend her student o/draft because she is still showing as blacklisted by Nationwide on the joint account we had (my fault I know).

Has she tried posting a note of dissassociation on her credit files? it might help, even if it takes a month or two to work.

tugrin

Hi RAS - what is it and how does she do it? Sounds as if it might help - the overdraft is to cover her student loan until next payment it's not massive just a few hundred pounds I think so anything will help






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chrissie52

BUT its like living with a bear who suffers from frequent unpredictable pre- menstrual lunacy when she is stressed!

Oh I so identify with that one! Used to be my daughter when she was home from uni. Have to admit I found boys easier.:rotfl:

she eats constantly, almost obsessively and not just plain old jam sandwiches

Would she consider baking for you all when she's home, doesn't cost the earth and you might end up with a freezer full of goodies that we all know we need/want?;) when we're feeling low.

Keep your chin up girl and keep going, if your daughter is the one who is the best with money as you say, get her on side. Explain how things are and ask her if she thinks she can help stretch the family budget in any way when she's at home.
Take care.