Hoping for some support

tugrin

JUst how old is this sister of yours? Does she really not understand that arrangements made with people should be honoured whoever they are? I would suggest that if they cant get their act together then they can at least pay for a taxi for you to go with your mum to the shops!

Byatt

I hope you get on the carer's course soon; I think it will be very helpful for you.

As for your sister and brother, I believe it's time to have a family get togther (I know you say they won't get on, but it's time the grew up as this is about THEIR mother and not about them), and talk about what you do and the support needed from them.

Do you live with your mother?

I would also find out about social support and what's available/respite care and so on. How capable is your mother?

You can't have 100% responsibility for this. They need to share and appeciate what you already do.

You sound lovely, caring person and they are taking advantage of you. Next time say you will drive to your sisters, don't wait for her to come to you, and if she is nattering to neighbour, say to her, your mother is waiting!!!

I am angry on your behalf.

Hi Tugrin, hope you're ok?

tugrin

Hi Byatt
I'm bearing up just about although head/faceache is back with vengeance
I agree-Im angry too-it's just ridiculous when there are 3 children who are all around that the reponsibility should end up on only one pair of shoulders.
My daughter came back last night (late) and I was home quite late today so I haven't had THE conversation yet. Hoping to get home early tomorrow and go through figures with her and do meal/baking plans for next week
On a better note I have had a bid from Australia on one of my e bay items!! Hope I dont end up making a nett loss on p&p I did weigh item and look it up so fingers crossed I will be happy just to break even on this first thing.

ERICS_MUM

Thanks for your support. :beer:

Sister is 53 and she won't talk to my brother (he would be fine with her). She even ignored him at dad's funeral.

Mum is fine, she has a good social life at her retirement apartment complex and doesn't need respite, just a fair bit of practical help as you would expect at 87.

Tugrin, I got 99 pence for my first ever EBAY sale but I was so excited! I sold a load of old stuff lying around the house in cupboards, kitchen drawers etc and raised £400. It's amazing what some people will buy - have a good rummage around the house/shed and you could be pleasantly surprised.

Has anyone done a car boot sale to make a few pounds? I'd love to have a go but not sure if it's worth the effort. I don't know what would sell well - clothes, books, plants, hand-made crafts etc ?

Tugrin again, do you think your daughter would "help" with your budget by (for example) setting up a spreadsheet of incomings and outgoings for you ? It might open her eyes to your situation and she might spot some opportunities to make your money go further.

I do hope everyone has a good day - it's beautiful weather here and I'm off to sort out my front garden. :beer:

Linda

tugrin

EEK! Ive sold a vintage tin on ebay to the chap in Australia! I hope Ive got the P&P right otherwise I think I might be out of pocket!!!
DD is on board with all the budgeting and has been helping in garden today which is NOt her favourite pastime.
SHE is utterly cheesed off though with Barclays who point blank refuse to take the block off her student overdraft saying that Nationwide have not put a note explaining her situation on Experian - yet have blithely not bothered to stop her card even though she has had ANOTHER fraudulent transaction for an X box game made on it. She thinks it MUST be someone she knows at Uni (maybe even someone she shares a house with) which is really not very nice. Dont know what to suggest to her. Anyone got any ideas?

tugrin

Evening.
Just got home from a ghastly staff meeting and am just so miserable. All it takes is one memo and one meeting with this man and all my optimism drains. The hed has said that 4 of my very poorest children will have to sit their KS2 SAT tests despite the fact that they are working below the required level (3) and will come out as a no-score. All this will achieve will be 4 very distressed children who will either cry all the way through the week or just stay at home - which I personally hope they do. He also demanded to see their 'mock' tests which I marked because he obviously thinks Im cheating in some way! I know I shouldnt but I REALLY HATE HIM!

tugrin

Fell off the NS wagon today as I had expected (quite wrongly I know) a friend to pay for Starbucks - she makes a lot more than me in my defence. But she genuinely did not have a penny on her or a card so I ended up paying. Now is this normal - I feel extremely GUILTY. Seriously - I keep thinking about how that £10 has eaten into my monthly budget and how it wasnt actually worth it as I was thinking that as I was drinking it! Is this really the natural and normal outcome of having a real LBM rather than the previous 'Oh I need to budget' times I had in the past?
Will I now be safe to wander around shops without 'treating myself' because I now know the money needs to be somewhere better?

crafty*kate

Hey tugrin...I haven't commented before, but your reaction to the price of coffee sounds exactly like mine, so I'm hoping it's normal!
Everything I buy that is non-essential, I really think about how much it's costing me and what value I'm getting from it. Sure, I might have £10 in my entertainment budget - but that could be 2 cinema tickets (on a cheap night lol)...and I could just have coffee at my house with a friend.
I think once you really start to re-evaluate every bit of your spending, you have truly had your LBM and it's showing a change in attitude - and this is going to be what gets you through and makes sure you never end up in debt again.

chrissie52

Hi Tugrin
I'd like to give that headmaster of yours a good shaking! He really is the limit... if it were my child he was putting through sats that they were not capable of, I assure you his feet would NOT touch the floor! Can imagine what an effect it has on you.

how it wasnt actually worth it

Thought that many, many times, usually thinking 'I could do this at home for x number of pennies/pounds' and enjoy it more!:D Gets to be a habit I'm afraid.:T
Hope you're ok and that all is going ok with your daughter at home.
Take care.

rubbish_rosie

Hi
Just reading this thread, I have posted my financial situation on another thread as I am in a mess, its only the last 3 months I ve really started to analyse where Im spending my money and realise where Im frittering it away but I wondered how long it takes til being frugal stops making me feel depressed. I can see now that meals out are an extravagence and I dont want to spend my hard earned money on meals out now but this makes me feel quite sad. How long will it take til lI start feeling happy that Im saving money? When does it become normal?

I feel so very low at the thought of all the things I used to enjoy are no longer enjoyable because i can now see its a waste of money, if that make sense.

Any advice?