MSE Pregnancy Club 21

chickywiggle

forumgrazer wrote: »

Is anyone else's OH thinking doing the additional paternity leave when the new rules come in?

noo i've gotta go back after 6 month (when full wages end) cause we simply can't afford for me to be at home on SMP alone.

we work half the week each so everyday (except fridays) one of us is at home alone with the kid/s so he does his share of SAHD(ing).

infact i think i'll be rushing back to work as i'll be ready for killing him (alredy am and i've not been off a month yet!) :rotfl:

gratefulforhelp_2

mrsspendalot wrote: »

I was so thrilled to have become debt free in 2008 and vowed I would never end up debt free again. Now I'm in debt but by association, not in name! It's just as stressful as it was first time round, but more frustrating.

chickywiggle wrote: »

DH just seems to thinnk there is an edless money tree - take last night... they are getting a pressie in his pool legue for someone who is leaving - this *should* be coming from everyone giving £1.
he asked me if he could take an xtra £30 incase the money wasn't ready from people.... I said No as it simply isn't there to take and he never does bother to get it back off people. so he said "ok give me the card i'll take it off that". eventually i made a big deal of taking it out the 'spare' cash account (we had an extra £500 at beginning of year that i knew would be gradually needed for bills etc) and saying that was it - there actually physically was no more money!!

not sure has sunk in tho!!! as if he is off work sick he doesn't get paid..... leaving this months wages £200 down!

SmlSave wrote: »

Same here with my DH. He actually said once that being a SAHM shouldn't be classed as work which worries me a bit! I've spoken to him to try and get him to realise that things are going to be a bit different come June and he can't expect to come home to a domestic goddess and a clean house just because I've been at home. No matter what i think he's going to get a shock

This all worries me a bit, DH used to live on his own and blithely spend about £1300 on himself a month, not counting necessities. He has totally changed in that respect but XH used to have a hissy fit if I asked him to buy a packet of nappies...

And as for being an SAHM, just breastfeeding is a full time occupation in the early weeks, and for me, being at home with a baby (not to mention other children and the housework) is exhausting. They need to walk a week in your shoes,like Mr spendalot.

Just woken up, in pain but the wrong kind, the ligament under bump kind.

forumgrazer

Hi ChickyWiggle... not long for you now

I've only got SMP anyway so once we'd agreed that we could cope with 9 months of me on SMP, OH's wage being pretty similar to mine means that it doesn't make much difference if its him or me taking it. I wish we could take it together though like they do in Scandinavia... probably wouldn't get much done though judging by our weekend efforts at diy together

ah well lots of time to think about it I guess and save up as much as we can... 18weeks today!

ETA hope you're ok grateful and that you get the right sort soon!

mrsspendalot

The one trick I have up my sleeve is that after a year of coping with nothing, my ex has finally been grabbed by the dangly bits by the CSA and forced to start paying maintenance!!! So he now has arrears plus regular maintenance to pay. Now I've already had £625 off him in the past month, and apparently there is another £200 odd on its way via CSA this week. None of this money is currently counted in my monthly budget as I don't believe I can rely on the money coming regularly. I have simply tucked it away in my ISA for now, whilst I think about what to do with it. Once he has cleared his arrears I should get (assuming he doesn't lose or change jobs) £170 a month, and this will start about November if he keeps on top of the arrears in the meantime.

gratefulforhelp_2

forumgrazer wrote: »

ETA hope you're ok grateful and that you get the right sort soon!

Thanks, you never know;)

mrsspendalot wrote: »

The one trick I have up my sleeve is that after a year of coping with nothing, my ex has finally been grabbed by the dangly bits by the CSA and forced to start paying maintenance!!! So he now has arrears plus regular maintenance to pay. Now I've already had £625 off him in the past month, and apparently there is another £200 odd on its way via CSA this week. None of this money is currently counted in my monthly budget as I don't believe I can rely on the money coming regularly. I have simply tucked it away in my ISA for now, whilst I think about what to do with it. Once he has cleared his arrears I should get (assuming he doesn't lose or change jobs) £170 a month, and this will start about November if he keeps on top of the arrears in the meantime.

I would stash it for mat leave. Well done for keeping at them, that's a full time job in itself.

mrsspendalot

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

I would stash it for mat leave. Well done for keeping at them, that's a full time job in itself.

Well, I had a little help from my MP .... amazing what dropping their name into a complaint letter can do Not to mention the £50 compensation for maladministration

And it seems (at the moment) to have kicked ex into shape .... he keeps texting me to tell me he has made a payment off the arrears, and then texts asking if I got it .... I think he's waiting for me to say thank you, but I refuse to thank him for finally paying for his own children! I just reply, yes I got it today. Still don't trust him though. He would never pay it willingly without them on his back threatening bailiffs or whatever tactic they finally used to get him to part with his cash!

Yeah, I kind of thought if I just put it away for now, it's there if I need it.

chickywiggle

mrsspendalot wrote: »

The one trick I have up my sleeve is that after a year of coping with nothing, my ex has finally been grabbed by the dangly bits by the CSA and forced to start paying maintenance!!! So he now has arrears plus regular maintenance to pay. Now I've already had £625 off him in the past month, and apparently there is another £200 odd on its way via CSA this week. None of this money is currently counted in my monthly budget as I don't believe I can rely on the money coming regularly. I have simply tucked it away in my ISA for now, whilst I think about what to do with it. Once he has cleared his arrears I should get (assuming he doesn't lose or change jobs) £170 a month, and this will start about November if he keeps on top of the arrears in the meantime.

thats FAB..... every little helps! i'd be the same as you - away until needed - you coped this long without it.


thanks forumgrazer - bit scared now that i'll end up with a c-sect which although would make the birthing experience quicker could risk DH needing to take unpaid leave if i'm not up and about quickly...... (he's already taking holiday instead of pat leave)

koalamummy

hi I am not new to mse but for some reason my old account doesnt seem to be working anymore? I have followed the less than 12 weeks thread and also the 12-24 weeks thread and have now finally put aside my fears about all of the things that could possibly go wrong and would like to join if that is ok? I am 27+1 and my edd is 27/06

gratefulforhelp_2

*Hello* welcome.

koalamummy

thank you I was a little worried that I would not be allowed to join because I had not actively participated in the other two threads