MSE Pregnancy Club 21

bella2121

Hi everyone

Sending massive labour vibes to all who need them xxx

Well I'm 14 +4 today have been exhuasted for the last week but am now off work for 4 days yeahhhhh was intending on resting but have just spent 2 hours in morrison lol dont know where the time went

As for OH's spending money when its not necessary mine used to be terrible but I have to say he has been trying really hard and things have greatly improved things are deffo on the up

Have a lovely day ladies, nearly time for the school run, only seems like I dropped him off 2 mins ago haha xx

supermaiden

Money, money money! Lol. Its so stressful! I get annoyed because husband wont sign up for online banking so its easier for us to switch money from his account to mine. My wage pays the rent (and that is it gone), WTC I keep some by but end up paying the council tax aswell with it so theres £100 gone straight away. I then have him pay the gas/electric, sometimes water but I sometimes pay this too. Its not really that big a deal because Im much more of a spender these days where I used to be a saver when we first got together, I dont know what happened to my MSE'ness!
So he is saving all this money in his account but I cant get to it really without asking and there is sooo much we need to buy right now ready for baby so Im getting stressed because I cant do it from my own money and just get what I like.
We also have a bill that is now with debt collectors because I wouldnt pay it as we dont actually owe it. But we havent got around to sorting it out because husband has to be the one to sort it and he never has time, very frustrating!

Im also struggling with what to buy! We need a cot, we need drawers. We have a big pine wardrobe but I think its too big for the nursery so not wanting it in there really, but I cant find drawers! And I cant buy a cot until we know what colour drawers we will have, and I cant buy drawers until I know what colour cot! You see my predicament? lol! Ive seen some cots on ebay though which have a mattress with them and pretty cheap but nice looking so may go with that. One is natural wood so maybe we can stain it or something if we want it different. Oh the dilemmas Im having lol, wish it was all so much easier!

mrsspendalot

They had some good deals on cots online at Argos recently, not sure if the offer is still on? They were Cosatto and Mamas & Papas ones too.

I'm starting to think maybe every relationship must have a saver and a spender! Re hubby not sorting the debt, when my hubby won't do something like that, I type a letter from him, and just make him sign it. Saves the hassle, and then it's done!

SmlSave

I am sure it won't happen but sometimes the comments he makes about how 'nice it must be' for stay at home mums to just be at home with baby make me feel that ultimately when it's our turn he may resent me, no matter how hard I have saved or how hard my day at home might have been.

Hi sparkle

Same here with my DH. He actually said once that being a SAHM shouldn't be classed as work which worries me a bit! I've spoken to him to try and get him to realise that things are going to be a bit different come June and he can't expect to come home to a domestic goddess and a clean house just because I've been at home. No matter what i think he's going to get a shock

mrsspendalot

SmlSave wrote: »

Hi sparkle

Same here with my DH. He actually said once that being a SAHM shouldn't be classed as work which worries me a bit! I've spoken to him to try and get him to realise that things are going to be a bit different come June and he can't expect to come home to a domestic goddess and a clean house just because I've been at home. No matter what i think he's going to get a shock

Now on this one, my DH openly admits that being a stay-at-home parent is very hard work!!!! He has been a student/stay at home parent now for around 18 months and he definitely says it is easier to go to work, particularly now I'm pretty much incapacitated from all housework and he has to do it all on his own.

SmlSave

Supermaiden, can't you and DH get a joint account just for the household bills? I put in 40% and DH puts 60% into his to reflect our earnings. There's no way I'd just have a joint account though!

Have you tried freecycle for a cot and drawers? IMO there's no need to spend money on something that's only going to last baby a year or two. No friends/family who have stuff you can borrow? Saying that we've been really lucky and a work colleague has offered us a cot-bed for free, its a bit run down but hey-ho.

SmlSave

Now on this one, my DH openly admits that being a stay-at-home parent is very hard work!!!! He has been a student/stay at home parent now for around 18 months and he definitely says it is easier to go to work, particularly now I'm pretty much incapacitated from all housework and he has to do it all on his own.

think I'll show DH this tehn Ta Mrs

mrsspendalot

SmlSave wrote: »

think I'll show DH this tehn Ta Mrs

I wish I could show you my DH's face this morning when I was trying to teach him how mop the kitchen floor :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Seriously, he really finds it hard to juggle studying, childcare and now housework and looking after me too. We have actually just discussed him taking an extra year to complete his study just to take some pressure off next year when I go back after maternity leave and he is at home with a baby to look after too. He is an OU student, but studies at the equivalent rate of a full time student (just without the student debt :D) so it will be a lot for him to juggle with a baby. Not impossible, as I managed it myself with my last 2 babies, but we study differently! I was able to cram all night, and he just can't take it in on a night.

forumgrazer

Hi Ladies,

OH is the saver/worrier and I'm the spender but we're pretty good at pooling all our resources/concerns and only have the occasional tet a tet about where all our money goes (main source of grief is my car ) doesn't help that I do all the general shopping, all credit card purchases (get points) and have the big public transport bill to get to work - he cycles

so exactly like supermaiden I do most of the household spending out of my wages leaving very little and he has all our monthly savings hidden away in his account until I can pester him to put it into the joint savings

I am sure it won't happen but sometimes the comments he makes about how 'nice it must be' for stay at home mums to just be at home with baby make me feel that ultimately when it's our turn he may resent me, no matter how hard I have saved or how hard my day at home might have been.

as for being a SAHM... I'm currently trying to persuade OH to take 3 months of my SMP paid leave partially to avoid him coming back to me in future years about my 'lost opportunity' - he seems to think that I'll be able to start up my own business etc in all my 'free time' - we'll see how much he achieves in his own 3 month 'sabbatical'. I'm quite lucky because we earn roughly the same so it won't make that much difference which of us is working.

Is anyone else's OH thinking doing the additional paternity leave when the new rules come in?

digitalphase

forumgrazer wrote: »

Is anyone else's OH thinking doing the additional paternity leave when the new rules come in?

No, we just about keep our heads above water with OH working over time. He'd just get a basic wage on paternity leave, so not enough to pay our bills.

We're normally not too bad, but his work's shipments have suffered since before Xmas so no one has had a bonus for a while. The year before last they all got around £500 bonus, last year there was nothing... Tough times.