MSE Pregnancy Club 21

galvanizersbaby

Chopsie&Chelvis wrote: »

I've had this too - really quite intimate questions from male colleagues I only know to say 'Hello' to! There's one man who, if he asks 1 more question, I'm going to complain about as he's making my skin crawl.

I was meant to have had my 20 week scan today, but I rescheduled for next Friday so my husband could come. Really wish I hadn't now, I really want to see the baby again and know they're ok. I wish it would start kicking, then I can relax a bit - well, relax in one way, probably won't be relaxing to get a foot in the ribs, lol!

lol! - do we work in the same place? - quite frankly some people here haven't a clue where personal boundaries are concerned :mad:
I've got my 20 week scan next Wed though will be 20 weeks on Sunday.

gratefulforhelp_2

dustystar02 wrote: »

Ladies, I'm stressing about my mum. I am an only child and she is way too excited about her first grandchild. I'm really excited for her (more than I am for myself) but I'm quite bothered about how I'm going to keep her at bay once bubs is here.

She will be at the birth, I asked her to be there when I first got PG as OH was so scared of it all (although after these classes he is being much better) - I doubt I still need her there now but I would never tell her she can't be there, I know it would break her heart. so I sent her an email this morning syaing I was writing a birth plan and had put that I wanted her to leave us alone for an hour after baby is here so that we can bond as a family and she can go off ringing the rest of the family to share the news.

she replied saying 'you won't bond immediately, you will only bond a few hours later when you have come down off cloud 9. I was only going to hang around to take pics, I was also taking a week off work to help you with cleaning etc at home, it feels like you want my help to buy the pram and decorate the nursery but once the baby is here it's so long Nanna, it's just us now'

I know I may not bond immediately - I just used the term 'bond' but I meant I wanted time as a family, bonding or not.

I replied saying 'Well, yes, it is like that i'm afraid. I expect you to be there for me as and when I need you, you are my mum, but other than that I expect to be left alone. If i need you at the house every day then I'll ask you to be. And I don't think asking for an hour as a new family is too much to ask. Plus I don't want loads of pics taking straight after the birth. I am grateful for everything you have done but that shouldn't mean I should be obliged to involve you in every step. And I won't be made to feel guilty for asking you to leave us alone or to back off'

Am I a horrible person? - I needed to set her straight as I want as much help as I need once bubs is here and not to be smothered.

things are always much worse written down aren't they?

She hasn't replied.

She has to remember that this is all about you and the baby (and a bit about OH too;)) not all about her.

That said, you will need her, and probably you should tread gently. I wouldn't have my mum at the birth, she is brilliant, but she would panic. And any panicking to be done, I will do it!

Chopsie&Chelvis wrote: »

I've had this too - really quite intimate questions from male colleagues I only know to say 'Hello' to! There's one man who, if he asks 1 more question, I'm going to complain about as he's making my skin crawl.

I even got the "was it planned?" from my (late) MIL. Wasn't sure what to say really.

I had to threaten to punch (in a jokey way of course) the one woman who DARED to touch the bump. Clearly she can't read faces or body language.

FairyShazza

Dusty I think you have handled the situation very well. As the others have said it is best to lay down the ground rules beforehand so there are no (or at least less) difficult conversations once the baby comes with hormones are rife and tempers may fray.

I had a similar thing with my parents as my dad announced that they were coming to stay for a week around my due date without even asking me. I am not close to my parents and whilst I appreciated them wanting to be here to help I actually couldn't think of anyone I would less want to be around if I went into labour. My mum gets me stressed out and I wouldn't be able to deal with her at that point in time.

I said I would think about it and then once I'd worked out what I was going to say I explained that whilst I know they want to be here to help, there is a chanced that I may go overdue and also that OH and I would like some time to ourselves with our new arrival so we can get used to having a baby in the house before we have visitors. It is especially hard as they live a good 2.5hrs away so they couldn't come and visit for the day they would want to stay for a few days at least.

Luckily they were fine with that - I think it was good that I laid down some rules as I really don't want to be over run with family members straight after the birth. I know we are going to have to have the same conversation with OH's dad and I just hope he is as understanding.

When it comes to the questions about SPD/PGP I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. Mine seemed to start in the very front of my pelvic bone - almost in the same area as the uretha (hence why it was initially mistaken as a possible water infection) there are lots of websites which list possible symptoms and I would say if you are showing signs of matching any of them to make an appt with the doctor or midwife sooner rather than later. I've got my physio appointment next week but I have to say the reflexology I am having seems to be working wonders on it.

Evansangel wrote: »

Its free eBay listing this weekend

Oooooooh thanks for this! Maybe this might give me the push I need to get my backside into gear and put a few things on tomorrow - I've been meaning to do it for ages and not been motivated enough

ema_o

Dusty I meant to add the reason I want alone time with OH and the baby is that we were told at nct class that newborns are often very alert straight after birth, so it is a good time to have with them.

Also I got nct lady to look over my birth plan, and she said the midwife won't leave you completely alone but should leave you with minimum disruption - things like weighing can wait an hour.

Rockinbikergal

dustystar02 wrote: »

Ladies, I'm stressing about my mum. I am an only child and she is way too excited about her first grandchild. I'm really excited for her (more than I am for myself) but I'm quite bothered about how I'm going to keep her at bay once bubs is here.

She will be at the birth, I asked her to be there when I first got PG as OH was so scared of it all (although after these classes he is being much better) - I doubt I still need her there now but I would never tell her she can't be there, I know it would break her heart. so I sent her an email this morning syaing I was writing a birth plan and had put that I wanted her to leave us alone for an hour after baby is here so that we can bond as a family and she can go off ringing the rest of the family to share the news.

she replied saying 'you won't bond immediately, you will only bond a few hours later when you have come down off cloud 9. I was only going to hang around to take pics, I was also taking a week off work to help you with cleaning etc at home, it feels like you want my help to buy the pram and decorate the nursery but once the baby is here it's so long Nanna, it's just us now'

I know I may not bond immediately - I just used the term 'bond' but I meant I wanted time as a family, bonding or not.

I replied saying 'Well, yes, it is like that i'm afraid. I expect you to be there for me as and when I need you, you are my mum, but other than that I expect to be left alone. If i need you at the house every day then I'll ask you to be. And I don't think asking for an hour as a new family is too much to ask. Plus I don't want loads of pics taking straight after the birth. I am grateful for everything you have done but that shouldn't mean I should be obliged to involve you in every step. And I won't be made to feel guilty for asking you to leave us alone or to back off'

Am I a horrible person? - I needed to set her straight as I want as much help as I need once bubs is here and not to be smothered.

things are always much worse written down aren't they?

She hasn't replied.

At antenatal class we were told that the first hour is crucial for skin to skin bonding and also for letting baby settle.....apparently they can be quite dazed for the first 5 minutes so that's when the MW does her main checks but after that they start to focus so they prefer that mummy and daddy have as much time then as possible and that other checks can be carried out when you are showering etc.......

Apricot wrote: »

Back in work - in case you couldn't tell. I was literally outside my front door and boss rang me asking how long I was going to be as there are two jobs to send out for next week - sending those two jobs out took me less than 5 mins, she could have quite easily done it herself but now Im stuck here until she deigns to let me leave!

:mad: on your behalf at that daft boss

GFH I was going to have a tee made up with 'hands off the bump the mother is hormonal' printed on it but never got around to it lmao

galvanizersbaby

Have a good weekend ladies - I'm leaving work now and probably won't get on again until Monday x

Rockinbikergal

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

Have a good weekend ladies - I'm leaving work now and probably won't get on again until Monday x

You have a good weekend too sweetie xxxx

SusanC_2

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

I had to threaten to punch (in a jokey way of course) the one woman who DARED to touch the bump. Clearly she can't read faces or body language.

I must give out the right kind of vibes as nobody ever tried that one on me.

Although people seemed oblivious to my annoyance when making comments on my size.

supermaiden

Hello mummies

I managed to get myself some new trousers this week, tired of wearing my old ones unbuttoned and falling down as I go up the stairs! :rotfl:
I got a pair of jogging bottoms for £4 from Asda in my normal size and also these: http://direct.asda.com/george/women-s-clothing/maternity/maternity-jogging-bottoms/GEM58517,default,pd.html
They are 2 sizes too small BUT they fit as if they were a size too big lol. Guess I have plenty room to grow, they are soo comfy thoug, loose enough on belly to not be annoying like my other trousers. They fit better than the joggers funnily enough! I also got them for £4.50 instead of £9, bargain! :money:

I have been laughing at these sites that tell you dont do this, dont do that etc. Dont lay on your back because it cuts off a vein or something like that, and then lay on your left because its best for circulation - I dont know which way to lie anymore
Ive been getting a "click" in my back in the night when turning over, I hope this doesnt become something serious. Its to the left of my spine at one of the indents there and just when Im turning it clicks. Will try to turn slower/easier from now!

11 days until my scan

Apricot

Ooh those joggers are nice supermaiden may have to get myself a pair!