Question about the death process. (Factual thread so pls don't read if sensitive)

poet123

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

This is all sounding so terribly familiar. It's been over a decade now but the memory of it still manages to distress. The only good thing is that the person is almost certainly not aware at this stage and probably hasn't been for quite some time. I imagined that the end would be distressing for our mother because I'd never witnessed someone dying before but it really wasn't, it was very gentle and gradual and the only distress was ours. When I go, I want to leave this earth just like she did, God willing.

I don't know whether it's appropriate to offer one's condolences before the event but I wish you and yours all the best Aliasojo

This is the same for me, with both parents 19, and 9 years respectively.

I hope you manage to get through this

Savvy_Sue

Happened with my Dad too, though I wasn't there to see it. He'd been completely 'out of it' for 48 hours, and I was with him the first night of it. Just before he died though he spoke to those who were there, knew who they were.

Hugs.

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

I don't know whether this will help anyone or not but I have noticed is that there is no fear in death. Before it is the time to pass the majority of us will be afraid as we don't really know what is ahead of us, or if there is anything after this life, and we all have our own beliefs, but when it's time to go there is no fear.

OP, I am sorry you are having to go through this as well as all the other problems you have with family and your job, I hope, what can, works out well for you. Up to now I think you've had a rotten year and I hope it soon gets better.

aliasojo

She passed last night just before 8pm. I wasn't there but other family were with her and she stayed peacefully unconscious and unaware until the end. Her breathing had got progressively shallower with longer gaps between breaths until one time she just didn't take another breath. My brother said it was so peaceful that he wouldn't fear death as much if he went the same way.

Thank you all for your replies, I'm a 'chatter' by nature and tend to deal with things by talking a lot. It makes no difference whether I do it by mouth or by fingers on a keyboard, just as long as I get the thoughts out of my head iyswim, so I appreciate you all responding to my post.

Money_maker

So sorry for your loss, aliasojo.

Such a comfort it was all so peaceful x

NickyBat

So glad you updated, but so sad too, but be aware where ever she is now is a much better place than where she was, i truely believe that when i think about people i have had in my life that have died.
x

nearlyrich

Sorry for your loss Aliasjo x

Mupette

aliasojo

Thanks for letting us know.

I agree, getting things off your chest via verbal or typing helps, kind of like therapy.

sorry for your loss.

zzzLazyDaisy

I am sorry for your loss, but you can relax now, knowing she is at peace.

Sending you blessings

Daisy

birkee

I have absolutely no experience of this moving subject, but can hurt just a little too, for those that have.

If my life experience is anything to go by, then my guess is this:-
Right up to the end, the life force is fighting for survival, and the fight shows in the person concerned, with all the stresses showing. At some point, the system realises it is a lost cause, and gives in, and the relaxation from struggle, is what shows in the dying person, making them appear better than they were shortly before.
It must be like being given a morphine injection, when suffering chronic pain.
Wouldn't most of us want to give that injection to a loved one?
Our pain at that time is irrelevant.