Question about the death process. (Factual thread so pls don't read if sensitive)

puppypants

Condolences to you and your family.

Just wanted to send you a ((hug)).

/Rosie x

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

aliasojo wrote: »

She passed last night just before 8pm. I wasn't there but other family were with her and she stayed peacefully unconscious and unaware until the end. Her breathing had got progressively shallower with longer gaps between breaths until one time she just didn't take another breath. My brother said it was so peaceful that he wouldn't fear death as much if he went the same way.

Thank you all for your replies, I'm a 'chatter' by nature and tend to deal with things by talking a lot. It makes no difference whether I do it by mouth or by fingers on a keyboard, just as long as I get the thoughts out of my head iyswim, so I appreciate you all responding to my post.

I'm sorry for your loss, if you have any regrets about not being with her when she passed, you weren't meant to be, and it's nice she passed peacefully.

Chat away to your hearts content

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

birkee wrote: »

I have absolutely no experience of this moving subject, but can hurt just a little too, for those that have.

If my life experience is anything to go by, then my guess is this:-
Right up to the end, the life force is fighting for survival, and the fight shows in the person concerned, with all the stresses showing. At some point, the system realises it is a lost cause, and gives in, and the relaxation from struggle, is what shows in the dying person, making them appear better than they were shortly before.
It must be like being given a morphine injection, when suffering chronic pain.
Wouldn't most of us want to give that injection to a loved one?
Our pain at that time is irrelevant.

I understand this. My grandmother had cancer with an open wound for many years, how she was still living the doctors couldn't understand, I think it was just a case of it wasn't her time. The week before she died she rallied as if she had no illness at all, bearing in mind she had been almost bed ridden at this point for some weeks. She cleaned the house, went shopping, went out to dinner with my grandfather, it was as if a miracle had happened.

Then spookily she said her brother had been to see her and told her that it would be a week before she could go and she would pass on the following Tuesday, which was exactly the day she died.

busiscoming2

Sorry for your loss. At least she is at peace now.

tara747

Sorry for your loss aliasojo, I'm glad she went peacefully. Be kind to yourself, you have been through a very hard time xo

I wasn't there when my dad passed away and it wasn't a peaceful death (an aortic aneurysm which burst), my mum's words describing it at the time still haunt me to this day. But I believe with all my heart that he is in heaven and that we will be reunited one day. And for that reason I do not fear death.

sassyblue

Sorry for your loss aliasojo, l believe what you saw happening was the last 'push' of the body trying to get better again.

Your relative passed very peacefully, just like my MIL did - and that is a blessing.

xxxxxx

meritaten

so sorry aliasojo. but glad she went peacefully. remember we are always here if you want to talk things out!

Beamish

Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry to hear your sad news.

Death can be very sorrowful or a release to loved ones.

My darling Mum-in-law died just the way she would of wanted to a year ago today, she was 90 years old and a very smart lady, she had her hair done in the morning, put her make up on dressed herself up and then went for a 2 course lunch with a glass of wine at her local golf club with her daughter, when they came home my SIL put the kettle on for a cuppa and when turning around to give MIL hers she realised that MIL had gone very peacefully in her afternoon doze, we couldn't of asked for a nicer way for MIL to leave us, we believe that MIL had seen each and everyone of the family over Xmas & New Year and was quite content to go as she was ready.

I miss her still and we all talk fondly of Nanny D

XX

RacyRed

I'm so sorry for your loss ((((hugs))))

tara747

Beamish wrote: »

Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry to hear your sad news.

Death can be very sorrowful or a release to loved ones.

My darling Mum-in-law died just the way she would of wanted to a year ago today, she was 90 years old and a very smart lady, she had her hair done in the morning, put her make up on dressed herself up and then went for a 2 course lunch with a glass of wine at her local golf club with her daughter, when they came home my SIL put the kettle on for a cuppa and when turning around to give MIL hers she realised that MIL had gone very peacefully in her afternoon doze, we couldn't of asked for a nicer way for MIL to leave us, we believe that MIL had seen each and everyone of the family over Xmas & New Year and was quite content to go as she was ready.

I miss her still and we all talk fondly of Nanny D

XX

What a really lovely way to go, very comforting to those left behind, thank you for sharing your story xo