Improving my life in 2011

Mags30

Maybe I'm being too hard on her :huh: I have quite a bit of life experience of illness. My dad died from heart problems when I was younger, I know others who have had bypass surgery, people on dialysis, people who are carers, etc. I know how difficult it is but maybe only because I've encountered it quite a few times. But then again haven't most people, illness is rather common unfortunately.

vasseur

Mags I know this is going to sound awful but I think she had this reality check coming to her. I just can't believe that she is so self-absorbed when something like this is going on. To have a go at her Dad when he is going through goodness knows what, well, words fail me!

You're not being hard on her, you're just making sure that when reality hits she isn't going to br brought back to earth with quite such a thud.

I'm glad the op went well though. I wish the lady concerned a speedy recovery (unhampered by toxid friend's self-centeredness). This is such a horrible illness.

Mags30

I've been watching the celeb big brother final. For people with better things to be doing : In 3rd place Jedward (:( I wanted them to win) 2nd Kerry Katona and the winner Paddy Doherty from "big fat gypsy weddings"

Really strange how almost everyone minus 3 of them ended up in the final. I suppose they made more money from votes this way but I much prefer the X-Factor format with only 3 left for the final.

Wordsmith

Mags30 wrote: »

Maybe I'm being too hard on her.

No. No you are not being too hard on the little madam. Polesalot has it spot on. You are being a good friend to someone who doesn't deserve you.

Will she expect her mum to start waiting on her as soon as she is back from hospital?

Lula-Hula

Hiya Mags,

just catching up.

To be honest, I'm with wordsmith & polesalot on the matter of toxic friend. Some people really are that self absorbed, but maybe the reality of the situation will hit home eventually.

Rather than getting updates on her mum from her, would it be possible for you to speak to her Dad - if you feel that's appropriate - he might well appreciate someone showing concern & it might make her realise what she shoud be doing to support her parents.

I hear you on the winter depression, just keep taking thsoe multi vitamins & minerals & treating yourself kindly. I'm also considering one of those SAD lamps.

Keep on using that special word on the PP :T

xx

Mags30

Thanks guys. Unfortunately toxic friend has messed up rather badly. The mammy has been keeping her illness a secret. Apart from myself nobody outside of the immediate family knew. Toxic friend who doesn't drive was getting a lift from a neighbour. In the course of the conversation in the car neighbour asked "and what did your mother wear?" Toxic friend couldn't think on the spot and blurted out the whole story to the neighbour :mad:

Neighbour texts Mrs B on hearing the news and Mrs B goes mental at toxic friend. Mr B (toxic friends dad) had to mediate and Mrs B has had to forgive her. She would have told people eventually in her own time but I don't blame her for being furious. The ONE thing she was required to do, to keep her mouth shut about this and she messed up.

So toxic friend rings me to update me and said she was afraid it might happen again because she doesn't know what to say to people on the phone. So I told her: Don't answer it. People will leave messages, then you get a chance to think/plan before you call them back. I belive this rule now applies to everyone in the house for the weekend as her dad liked it.

Wordsmith wrote: »

Will she expect her mum to start waiting on her as soon as she is back from hospital?

Possibly :wall:

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Rather than getting updates on her mum from her, would it be possible for you to speak to her Dad - if you feel that's appropriate - he might well appreciate someone showing concern & it might make her realise what she shoud be doing to support her parents.

She rings me with the updates (then I call her straight back because she doesn't like to pay for things like phone bills). I'm not ringing the house at all now because hearing the phone ring is a bit scary for her dad with someone in hospital. If I see MrB I'll have a chat with him but both he and MrsB seem glad that toxic friend keeps ringing me. They know I'm a sensible, reliable person who will point out obvious things to her.

Toxic friend is visiting MrsB in hospital today but it's convenient for her because she wanted to come into the city to buy a cd of meditation music she heard playing in the hospital church. (No she couldn't stick it on the wishlist to buy later, see needs to get it today)

I wouldn't have minded meeting her for a coffee but I didn't suggest it because that would involve an appointment which her dad would then have to work his day around and I was afraid I'd be putting him to trouble so I left it.

Only postive thing here is that if MrsB is well enough to be shouting at toxic friend that's a definite sign of her doing ok :T

Mags30

Lula-Hula wrote: »

I hear you on the winter depression, just keep taking thsoe multi vitamins & minerals & treating yourself kindly. I'm also considering one of those SAD lamps.

I would :heart2: one of those.

@shoegal Easons (Irish bookshop) had a new display of kindle type devices today and I had a look. They are lovely, didn't seem to have wi-fi though. If ever I was buying it I'd go for Amazon Kindle but I think it would be a lovely thing for you to get with those vouchers.

And speaking of amazon my dune shoes are at my mothers for when I get home later

Shoe_Gal

:j to new shoes! I am sooooooooooo shallow!

Mags30

Just had a lovely surprise from the postman. Wasn't expecting anything when I got handed a package. It was a promotion/fundraising pack from action breast cancer for the "get the girls round" fundraiser.

Inside was a small teddy bear, car magnets AND :T a canvas shopper bag from Paul Smith. It's one of the bags that was designed for "fashion targets breast cancer" and would have been on sale for €35 at the time. It's not the most recent bag so I guesse this is just a nice way for them to get rid of excess stock.

I didn't even register for the event this year although I did last year. Obviously for purely selfish reasons I love this freebie BUT it's also the reason charities annoy me. It's an absolute waste of money that has been donated by people to be sending someone like me nice free stuff in the post. Even the postage on the package was €4.

How does any of this help someone like MrsB who actually has breast cancer? I know the official answer to this is all about raising awareness and encouraging people to donate but I still think it's an absolute waste of money.

Mags30

"No" didn't really work on the painter. I ended up going for coffee with him twice last week I was invited almost every day. But here's what REALLY annoyed me :mad:

He texted on Sat night asking if he could get a lift from West Cork to the city on Sunday night. I received quite a few texts on Sunday asking about what time we would be leaving. Then when he got in my car on Sunday night I found out he hadn't really needed a lift at all as he had in his posession a RETURN bus ticket which he had used on Saturday to get to West Cork. Could he not have just used that instead of hasseling me :huh:

He also informed me that he had called to visit my mother and I on Sunday and seemed ever so slightly put out that we weren't there at the time.

I spent Sunday working at my friends bar/music venue and was run off my feet all day so I really wasn't in the mood for painter by late Sunday evening.

The car journey was a nightmare (I don't think he noticed, he commented how nice and comfortable my car is). On stopping at his landladys house to collect him I noticed that my dress which I had worn all day in the bar was rather short when I was sitting down. I had black tights on and had changed the heels for converse for driving but had I thought of it I'd have changed the pretty dress for a round-the-house tracksuit pants. Anway nothing I could do then and it was dark so off we went.

We had to stop at the local shop where his landlady works because he wanted to give her a key.

The weather was bad and by the time we got the outskirts of the city the rain was pouring down and visibility was terrible. He announced that he wanted to get coffee. I wasn't sure how to refuse this request so I agreed but said it had to be for take-away as I was in a hurry because my "boyfriend" was expecting a phone call from me. The same "boyfriend" I'd been dropping into the car conversation every 5 minutes :undecided

We got the coffee (this place is open until 11) then he announced he needed to get cigarettes and phone credit :mad: There's a petrol station nearby but on the other side of the road so we had to go there. This was much more trouble than it would normally be because with the dark, really heavy rain, roundabouts and taxis flying around it was dangerous and I was tired.

Got there safely while thinking "if ever I crash my car please don't let it be while I have a gossiping painter as a passenger". Then while he went to get the cigarettes and phone credit I tried to work out why he hadn't bought those things from landladys shop when he was dropping in the key.

Then finally I dropped him to the house where he's working and waited until he had got inside before leaving. Haven't heard from him since :T Not sure why, I was polite (too polite). Maybe the constant references to "boyfriend" turned him off.

There was only 1 days work left at the house but with the rain who knows how long that will take. He has another city job lined up which he seems to think is "tiling the floor of a shoe shop in Marks + Spencers" I think what he means is a small empty unit in the shopping centre near M+S that is being fitted out as a shoe shop. M+S don't employ solo traadespeople who like to be paid cash.