Love, lust and the percentage of each...

hieveryone

Sat watching P.S I Love You and thinking of how absolutely gorgeous Gerard Butler is. Can imagine if I was in a relationship with him (well, I can't imagine really, but you know what I mean), that we wouldn't actually get out of the door to go anywhere

I'm in a relationship at the moment but I don't have that 'oh my god' feeling. I know people say that feeling fades eventually, but we've only been together 6 months. In mostly every other way he's perfect. Do you think lust can grow? Or something that needs to be there from the start?

determined_new_ms

Ok can I ask is the s e x good or does it need working on? (sorry you don't need to answer that "out loud" so to speak but you should definately think about it) if it needs work there is so much you can do about this, books, the internet "film" I could go on.... do you fancy him, does he make you crease up with laughter? I think these are the questions you should be asking yourself. You say he is perfect - is that on paper? Honestly I think working on your "alone time" might be the answer!

hieveryone

Hi - thanks for your reply... To be honest these days he makes me a sarcastic, moany person, in that I find faults with everything he does. From the way he walks to the way he talks. I don't know why I'm doing it.. I was single (although dating) for about 2 years before I met him and am more than happy with my own company etc..

PinkLipgloss

hieveryone wrote: »

Hi - thanks for your reply... To be honest these days he makes me a sarcastic, moany person, in that I find faults with everything he does. From the way he walks to the way he talks. I don't know why I'm doing it.. I was single (although dating) for about 2 years before I met him and am more than happy with my own company etc..

Think you already know what you should do .

deborahmcgeachy

Gerard Butler IS a s e x god!!! Its one of my favourite films and books of course!! If your in a relationship and don't have that phwoar feeling you have for someone like Mr Butler I'd be slightly worried especially whilst only into 6 months of a relationship!!!

I get like how you get with my husband but I tend to put that down to nearly that time of the month!!!

hieveryone

Is it more important to fancy someone or to like them?

**curlywurly**

hieveryone wrote: »

Do you think lust can grow? Or something that needs to be there from the start?

I think it comes and goes. I have been with my OH for 21 years (OH! HOW TOLERANT HE IS!). I have loved him that whole time. A lot. The lust is there the majority of the time (apart from just after having a baby ...). Perhaps the fact that for 15 of those years he was in the Navy and away at sea a lot of the time. Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder.

IMHO if it's not there after 6 months, I would be having a serious think.:o

Alikay

I'd be worried if that madly-in-lust feeling had already gone after just 6 months. I seem to remember some article on the news about it lasting on average 2 years or something, then it gets replaced by something deeper and more committed, but less intense. Did you ever have that feeling with him, or even with someone else? Also I wonder if age has anything to do with it as I was fairly easily swept off my feet at 17 (tended to come back down to earth 3 months later though:D) and can't imagine being so daft at 50.

hieveryone

**curlywurly** wrote: »

I think it comes and goes. I have been with my OH for 21 years (OH! HOW TOLERANT HE IS!). I have loved him that whole time. A lot. The lust is there the majority of the time (apart from just after having a baby ...). Perhaps the fact that for 15 of those years he was in the Navy and away at sea a lot of the time. Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder.

IMHO if it's not there after 6 months, I would be having a serious think.:o

You're right.. I was with my ex for a long time and I could still look at him and think some pretty decent thoughts :cool:;) but I don't have that feeling...?

hieveryone

Alikay wrote: »

I'd be worried if that madly-in-lust feeling had already gone after just 6 months. I seem to remember some article on the news about it lasting on average 2 years or something, then it gets replaced by something deeper and more committed, but less intense. Did you ever have that feeling with him, or even with someone else? Also I wonder if age has anything to do with it as I was fairly easily swept off my feet at 17 (tended to come back down to earth 3 months later though:D) and can't imagine being so daft at 50.

If I'm being totally honest it wasn't really there from the start. I sort of got swept up in things and it all happened very quickly... If you asked me if I'd rather watch P.S I Love You or you know what ;) then I'd rather watch the film..

As I mentioned in the post above, I was with my ex for a long long time and god, he was gorgeous... if I'm truly honest I'd say he still is!

I'm in my mid twenties if that makes any difference?

**curlywurly**

Well unfortunately I think you have your answer then.

hieveryone wrote: »

Is it more important to fancy someone or to like them?

I think for a long-term relationship, most people need both.