Love, lust and the percentage of each...

hieveryone

Thanks again all - some good advice. When we're apart, I miss him and think about the kind things he's done for me. But when we meet up, I feel like a coiled spring just ready to burst open with the little things that bug me.

To the person who asked if I'm on the pill - nope. I just think, for me, lust/fancying someone is important - one of my friends says that as she grows to love the 'person', she grows in lust with them too, but I don't think that's my way.

Thorsoak - wise words, but heartbreaking story. So sorry for your loss. x

Jinx

jcr16 wrote: »

but don't you find those, those annoying little things they do, just makes you love them even more. My hubby will never put his socks in the wash basket, always on the floor in front of basket :rotfl: it annoys me, but i love his quirky little ways. i love the way when he just doesn't reaslie the kitchen bin needs empting so will carefully balance stuff on it, instead of changing the bag. it so annoying , and put take longer to balance stuff than change the bag, but i wouldn't have ti any other way. ( he does change the bag, he not useless, just sometimes it almost like he is obvilous to the fact it needs empting, lol. i wouldn't have him any other way, i love him just excatly the way he is.

One of THE most annoying things is that when I am annoyed at him for whatever reason....... he just has to give me a hug and I cant be annoyed anymore...... Aaaargh... not fair!!:mad:

hot.chick

never MAKE DO - you will regret it in the long run...

you only get one life and you can't get the time back if you waste it with the wrong person...

And to be honest he sounds like a lovely guy - who deserves someone to REALLY want him instead of setteling for him in the abscence of anything better...

it works both ways x

Nottoobadyet

I think we all dream of having a love like thorsoak's.

jcr16

Jinx wrote: »

One of THE most annoying things is that when I am annoyed at him for whatever reason....... he just has to give me a hug and I cant be annoyed anymore...... Aaaargh... not fair!!:mad:

i know ! or you really want to argue and they look at you and smile, your knees go week and you completely forget what you were mad at them, so then in turn i say , please don't look at me ,i wanna be mad, and we both start laughing,:rotfl: but i wouldn't have it any other way. he knows he just has to do a crab dance ( don't ask,think albert in hitch lol)and i'm in stiches, he has a great way of being so annoying to the point of me absolutly loving it.

but then i can be just as annoying i'm sure. he doesn't annoy in a nasty way, it just him being him. and i love everything about him.

tara747

thorsoak wrote: »

At first, love and lust do go together....I still remember when I could get all gooey at the knees just thinking about getting home and having the evening together - and that's after nearly 48 years!

However, lust does die down - you begin to get bogged down with humdrum every day life - children, chores, bills and sheer tiredness take over - and even love can start to slip slowly down - and I can also remember groaning inwardly every time the door would open and he'd come in! But life changes and turns,the spark of love/lust can and does reignite - and so can passion - and although 6 times a night might not happen anymore, it can still be great. Love, lust and respect all go together though - and I think that as long as one or two of the strands remain, the bond is still strong.

I should know - I miss my man like crazy - he was buried on Friday last.

I am so sorry for your loss thorsoak, and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

tara747

hieveryone - I feel like this every so often - my OH is a good guy (most of the time!) and can be really very thoughtful, but there are times when he is not so great and I wonder if he is the one for me. At the wrong side of 30 (!) I do panic as well, thinking about my biological clock and that there aren't any decent men left!

And then I wonder if I'm just being daft, and if my age is making me feel a bit 'now or never' about my relationship i.e. I need to decide whether he is the one sooner rather than later (oh to be 23 again).

hieveryone

tara747 wrote: »

hieveryone - I feel like this every so often - my OH is a good guy (most of the time!) and can be really very thoughtful, but there are times when he is not so great and I wonder if he is the one for me. At the wrong side of 30 (!) I do panic as well, thinking about my biological clock and that there aren't any decent men left!

And then I wonder if I'm just being daft, and if my age is making me feel a bit 'now or never' about my relationship i.e. I need to decide whether he is the one sooner rather than later (oh to be 23 again).

You're exactly right! I just don't have that 'adoration' feeling for him. And surely you should adore someone you're going to spend the rest of your life with?

thorsoak

hieveryone wrote: »

You're exactly right! I just don't have that 'adoration' feeling for him. And surely you should adore someone you're going to spend the rest of your life with?

Adoration is for gods - and all men (including mine) have/had feet of clay - and even I didn't adore washing smelly socks & worse!!!

So no - adoration isn't essential all the time!

Pixiechic

Hi,

Any relationship has its ups and downs and anyone comparing their relationship to some blockbuster hollywood romance will come away feeling a little disheartened!


Take a leap of faith, I think it will be worth it. Good luck