Love, lust and the percentage of each...

sarah*a

hieveryone wrote: »

...... I'm sitting having a wee tear because I'm worried I won't ever lust anyone again.. :o

'course you will - you are over Mr Butler aren't you

Don't settle hun - you're still young - I didn't meet my OH until I was almost 30 - plenty of time yet to start 'worrying'

Nottoobadyet

The needing it, of course! It's a healthy part of life and you have every right to keep looking until you find someone who meets your needs for this time in your life.

burnoutbabe

doesn't matter so much if no PWHOOOORR, feelings of lust etc, as long as still happily enjoy having sex together, like each others company etc.

But you say he makes you a sarky/moany person? Which is not good.

thats more your issue, not the lack of "lust/butterflys" (which may not be as strong when older as when 17, we may well be looking for a more mature relationship when older), but the fact he makes you moany/miserable and not happy/content.

Poly,put_the_kettle_on

Lack of chemistry can be a killer. If you're resentful after 7 months, amplify that to 7 years...It'll only get harder. If you do end it though, try your best to leave him unscathed- he sounds like a good bloke, just not the good bloke for you.

gratefulforhelp_2

I think sex is the glue that "pair bonds" us...and if its no good, then how do we stick together through tough times? Of course it doesn't mean that it is always great, but it has to be good enough of the time.

Six months in, I would be worried...

Tish_P

Set him free to find someone who actively wants to rip his clothes off. He'll be happier. You'll be happier.
And don't start the "maybe I'll never find better" thing because a. You're in your 20s, woman! and b. From the sound of it, however much of a decent guy he is, your relationship sucks. He deserves better than to be silently seethed at. And it's only 7 months you've been together, it's not going to break your hearts irreparably.

And if you don't like going out on the pull, don't do it. There are other ways to meet people!

jcr16

i still have alot of lust for hubby and i know he does for me, lol.

we've been together 10 yrs this yr, married 9. got together when i was 19 he was 20.

not sure i see the attraction with garred butler, but my hubby still give the OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!. god dam if he walks around in just his henley boxers jeees i'm week at the knees, gorgeous sight i'll tell ya.

when we were first together we were at it about 5 or 6 times aday, unfortunatly thats changed, no on his part but more more. now it prob works out to about once a day. and s e x has never been boring with him, we both love to try new things, experiment and have alot of fun.

but i also have alot of love and respect etc for him. he truly is my soul mate. i love everythign about him and i just look at him to go week in the knees and my tummy still gets though butterflie feelings when he gently touches my skin , or kisses my neck. the feelings haven't died , they are just the same as when we were together.

Of course having 3 kids means things change, you can't just do it on the stairs like you could before kids were born, as there likely to catch ya,lol. but it means you can be more crafty and more inventive.

but i would say if after a few months the spark has been lost already then maybe it's not the right person for you.

burnoutbabe

but not everyone is a 6 times a day person. Or even a once a day person.

as long as your both happy with your love life, than doesn't matter how often it happens, hopefully there is also other affection - cuddling and holding hands as well.

jcr16

there is for hubby and i , we cuddle on the sofa nearly every night. once in bed we cuddle and he holds me tight till morning, or i snuggle up to him. as for holding hands , we always hold hands. it alot easier now not pushing a buggy all time, as pushing buggy one handed was awkward,lol. but if all our children are with us, then we end up holding the childrens hands and not each others as much. but we wouldn't dream and walking for even a short distance without holding hands. seems weird when i see couples who never seem to hold hands.

thorsoak

At first, love and lust do go together....I still remember when I could get all gooey at the knees just thinking about getting home and having the evening together - and that's after nearly 48 years!

However, lust does die down - you begin to get bogged down with humdrum every day life - children, chores, bills and sheer tiredness take over - and even love can start to slip slowly down - and I can also remember groaning inwardly every time the door would open and he'd come in! But life changes and turns,the spark of love/lust can and does reignite - and so can passion - and although 6 times a night might not happen anymore, it can still be great. Love, lust and respect all go together though - and I think that as long as one or two of the strands remain, the bond is still strong.

I should know - I miss my man like crazy - he was buried on Friday last.