How would you feel

tara747

pupsicola - I have only read page 1 but just wanted to say that you are totally entitled to feel like that, I would too. Hope you do manage to do something else nice with your kids on the day, and think of the money you will save by not having to attend the wedding, not to mention the hen party! xo

tara747

Ooops... just saw the post above mine and then read the rest of the thread.

Glad it's sorted between you two, let her sort things out with your dad and SM and just relax. Have a lovely time :0 xoxoxo

belfastgirl23

It is really early for invites to go out - maybe they were 'save the date' type cards which don't necessarily go to close family because they already know the date IYSWIM

Well handled though Pup!

Hectors_House

I can only imagine how cut up you must feel about this, but I imagine it *really* is about cost and nothing personal.

Maybe you could send them a small gift after the event wishing them all the best?

Please don't take it to heart. These are bad times for everyone and I think your father was being honest but a kind word from you, with a small gift in these austere times will mean so much in setting this couple on their way in what is (lets face it) a really crap time to splice the knot.

Ms_Magnetite

I think the question is more whether you have done something to upset either your step mother, or whether the bride's father has done something to upset the woman. Exes aren't above saying 'well, as he's your Stepfather, I can see why he is going to be there, but there is no way I want to be dealing with his daughter and her kids as well' and, as it is so important for a woman's Dad to be at her wedding, Mum has thought it best not to invite you, whilst not being exactly straight with your stepsister why she thinks you shouldn't be invited. Then the line about not being able to afford it comes in as an attempt to save your feelings.

Maybe hold fire on ripping your Dad and stepmother's heads off?




*******
Exe's sister didn't like me. Went to the wedding as her brother wouldn't take our daughter and go without me. Excluded from all photographs of the event. Probably not a loss.

Boyfriend's brother got married and neither he or his sister were invited. However, his brother is a professional musician, his fiancee a dancer and they had a load of friends and business contacts that had gone on to be friends at the wedding. The trouble wasn't with my boyfriend, but his sister has a brood of complete brats, a stroppy boyfriend who can't hold his drink and her favourite pastime is starting beer fuelled fights with other women for looking at her man (and he isn't that much to look at, either) when she isn't attacking him herself.

Had we been invited and not her, she would have gone spare and gatecrashed. Probably would have gone for my boyfriend as well. Which would probably have destroyed both their careers as well as ruined their day. So the official story was it was an adults only wedding and there was not enough money to pay for the seven of them to stay in a five star hotel for the weekend (plus buy their passports as the wedding was in France).

We weren't offended as we knew why. But the sister has never forgiven him for not having a child friendly wedding. If only she knew!

ailuro2

Well done for asking the question beforehand instead of letting it fester and end up affecting your relationship with your step-sister.

I'd get a special wedding card made up ( MoonPig.com??) and make sure it's addressed to "my step-sister AND my friend". That way there won't be any ambiguity for anyone who cares to have their nose out of joint... you are reminding folks that you are FRIENDS as well as step-sisters.;) And of course giving your Step Mother a reason to tell her family why your there... as she obviously hadn't thought you'd be there as a friend rather than her husband's daughter.;)

redpete

concerned43 wrote: »

Gosh, I admire your restraint! When that was done to me by my brother (SIL decision) I punched her and never spoke to either of them again - turned out "I had once looked at her the wrong way" - bloody nutter, tho his life with her has been hell :eek:

You punched her and she's the nutter?

pupsicola

Thanks for all your help and advice guys I really appreciate it. Am going to leave it all to my step sis to sort out as far as family are concerned. I dont like confrontation and dont want to get into any argument with my dad and step-mum. Alot of posts on here have really made me think and who knows what the real situation is.

For now it seems we are invited and I will just wait till nearer the time, get the invite and then look forward to the celebrations.

Am having a lovely relaxed sunday with the kids, roast in the oven, glass of vino in hand (already) and for once seem to be on top of things

meritaten

I have read a lot of your posts pupsicola - and think you are on top of things! by the way, I too am having a nice glass of wine and chilling! so cheers!

downshifted

Brilliant news - and very well done for being brave and handling it so well.

I'm glad you had a great day and hope you all enjoy the wedding too