How would you feel

aliasojo

pupsicola wrote: »

Dont know what advice I want really just wanted to get it out my system

I think you have every right to feel a bit surprised and peeved at this. It would seem she doesn't rate a step sister above a friend. Bit out of line imo but what can you do? Deep breath, post her a card and try to forget about it.


I take it putting her on the spot and asking her outright why she's not inviting you is a no-no?

nearlyrich

I would be devastated to be honest it can't be numbers really can it if all those people are invited ? My almost ex SIL didn't invite my children to their wedding they were 1 month and 19 months at the time and everyone I could have left them with were at the wedding. I was really upset that I didn't see my brother married and it has always been there between us.

polkadot

I agree with the person who suggested doing something nice on the day...I attended my stepsisters wedding,but was explicitly left out of "family photo's" as was my dad.Later on we moved to opposite ends of the world (literally)-I got married here in the UK and the only member of my family who made an effort to attend was my brother and one of my cousins...I recently learned on facebook that my dad is now moving to my stepsisters part of the world (and no, it wasn't in a message to me).

Inviting 200 guests to an evening do and "not you" doesn't sound like an oversight to me-but I may be projecting my own bitterness onto you:p

busiscoming2

If there are 100 going to the service, the couple either have a very large family or masses of close friends! I would feel put out and very hurt as well especially if you all get along well. I wouldn't even bother sending a card. It will be very awkward for her and her husband in the future to justify not inviting you.

pupsicola

zaksmum wrote: »

There was a similar problem with a friend's wedding. One of her aunts had been slagging her off for a few years to anyone who would listen. When the wedding guest list was drawn up, this aunt wasn't invited.

There was a huge protest from the aunt but my friend's response was, if you don't even like me, why on earth do you want to come to the wedding??

I'm not for one moment suggesting there's a similar reason for the OP not being invited by the way! Just that sometimes there's a fairly valid reason for the lack of an invitation.

I think your friend was right. If someone treats you badly and slags you off then of course you wouldn't want them at your wedding.

My step-sister and I have never had a cross word and get on well. I guess I am as worried about the reason behind it all as I am surprised by all this. I cannot think of anything I have done to cause this. Families are so complicated.

Sambucus_Nigra

I think you should ask her to be honest, if it upset you today then at least you would know why. Otherwise this is going to bug you for weeks/months...

I think it's a bit rude saying it is down to finance but then saying 'only' 100 people are invited to the wedding and 'only' 200 to the reception!

Bennifred

I don't think I'd be able to stop myself asking her why I'd not been invited!:p
I would say something like: I feel really awkward asking, but is there a reason I'm not invited to your wedding? I thought being family, and getting on so well that I'd be included in a family event! It was a bit upsetting/embarrassing when Dad said I wasn't being invited. Have I done something to upset you?

Better to clear the air, or things will be exceedingly awkward when you meet again on future family occasions!:(

littlekitty2010

I would be annoyed that 100 others are more important than you her step sister. I do understand the no kids as some people prefer children free weddings. How could your father and step mother think this was ok let alone your stepsister afterall your family:(

downshifted

Bennifred wrote: »

I don't think I'd be able to stop myself asking her why I'd not been invited!:p
I would say something like: I feel really awkward asking, but is there a reason I'm not invited to your wedding? I thought being family, and getting on so well that I'd be included in a family event! It was a bit upsetting/embarrassing when Dad said I wasn't being invited. Have I done something to upset you?

Better to clear the air, or things will be exceedingly awkward when you meet again on future family occasions!:(

Absolutely agree - it will fester if you don't ask.

If it is cost, I would say, "ok - you can afford 200 at the evening do, but you can't afford me, it makes me feel sad you feel like that but it's your wedding and your right to choose"

If you have upset them (unknowingly) it gives you a chance to put it right

chris_n_tj

pupsicola wrote: »

I think your friend was right. If someone treats you badly and slags you off then of course you wouldn't want them at your wedding.

My step-sister and I have never had a cross word and get on well. I guess I am as worried about the reason behind it all as I am surprised by all this. I cannot think of anything I have done to cause this. Families are so complicated.

I would bite the bullet and ask your step sister, I would feel upset and let down and would want to know the resaon why? You are upset as anyone would be. I guess you have nothing to lose in asking.

As for a gift or and a card, b u g g e r that. If you are not good enough to be a wecome guest then spend your money on your kids and have a lovely day out.

Have a hug I think you are in need of one xxxxx