How would you feel

pupsicola

gingin wrote: »

Is there a chance that this woman might be jealous of you and you don't realise it? Maybe she feels she can't live up to you and doesn't want reminding of it on Her big day?

I dont see what she has to be jealous of tbh. My marriage fell apart 4 years ago when I walked away from domestic violence. I am a single mum, getting by, doing okay. Nothing special or intimidating about me.

chris_n_tj

Pups first of all I am so proud of you, secondly I am so glad your Step Sister wasnt the one that didnt want you and your kiddies being at her special day. She sounds a lovely lady by the way.

I bet your Step Sister would be so sad not to see you all there. Why not leave it for a few days and see what happens.

Your Dad and step mum have only themselves to blaim, (acting like bloody kids) their unkind words have jumped right back and biten them on the bum. Serves them both right.

Hold your head up girl, remember its your step sisters wedding not her mums, so what the bride wants the bride should get. xxxx

Teenie_D

Jeezo families eh. I am happy for you that it's not that your step sister didn't want you there but what on earth was your dad and step mother thinking about?!!

Good on you for phoning her it must have taken a lot of guts, and your SS obviously DOES want you there, by the time September comes all of this will hoepfully have been forgotten about and you will all have a wonderful day!

Bennifred

Well done, pupsicola! :beer:

Now I think I'd leave it to your step-sister to sort out any issue with her mother. Definitely accept the invite coming your way, and have a fantastic time on the day!

meritaten

I had a funny feeling pups it wasnt down to your step-sister. DONT bow out hun! it sounds like your step sis wants you all there - now its up to her to make sure her wishes are taken into account! keep head down - I am sure that your stepsister will sort things out and get back to you. if the venue etc has been booked and she cant uninvite people - at least you will know that she wanted you there!
((((hugs)))) bet you will sleep better tonight knowing that your sis had nothing to do with you not being invited! but I wouldnt be happy with your dad tbh! why didnt he give your step-sis the heads up that you and the kids werent invited? he knew didnt he?

onlyroz

Well I think you did the right thing by speaking to your step-sister. It did sound very strange that you wouldn't be invited when 200 other people *had* been invited. I could understand it if they were having a very small wedding - we only had 20 people at our wedding, but invited 50+ to the evening do. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the day, and don't let any other family members upset you.

**curlywurly**

I'd like to add my congratulations for dealing with a difficult and emotional subject so directly and calmly. That is something I would have struggled with. I hope it is all sorted out and that you all enjoy the wedding.

Nicki

Before you go off on one with your dad and step mum, maybe take a deep breath. I've never heard of anyone sending wedding invitations out in two waves - friends earlier than relatives. Nor to be honest have I ever heard of anyone sending out their invites 8 months in advance, 6 weeks beforehand is usually the norm surely.

My guess is that there had been a conversation about whether or not the step family should be invited, which may or may not have resulted in a final decision, but that when she realised how upset you were going to be she decided that you would be invited. I very much doubt that your dad would have deliberately wanted to upset you about this, so I would guess either no final decision had been taken on the issue and he was forewarning you that you might not be invited so it didn't come as a massive shock, or that the decision in principle had been taken that the step family not be invited so he was coming up with an alternative explanation to save your feelings.

Either way it sounds like there was nothing personal against you and family. If forced to choose, you'd expect the bride to choose her own father over a stepsister surely? But faced with your obvious upset, she's decided to have you there, which shows she does care for you as much as you care for her.

A very difficult situation for everyone, but I'd say don't wade in and shoot your dad and step mum. After all they didn't volunteer that you weren't invited, you raised the issue with them which no doubt put them on the spot.

Money_maker

My advice would be to have a glass of something relaxing and sit back and wait.

Regardless of the outcome, you have been very brave raising the subject with her and the ball is now in her court. Wait and see what happens but should an invite arrive then do go.

And have a nice time!

kerri_gt

Wow, just came across this thread and I just wanted to say hats off to you for dealing with this so rationally. OP on here mentioned that they haven't heard of people sending out invites in 'waves' or so early, but I have a wedding in march and got an invite in Dec. For our wedding we sent out invites about 6mths before I think, as people had to make travel arrangements so it is possible. also, if she invited friends or people she doesn't see so often (judging by the size of the wedding) then she may have sent these earlier as people may not necessarily been so aware of dates and such as close family.

Regarding the conversation that may/may not have gone on between your dad and her mum, I think that you just need to let her deal with this and accept that you will be going to the wedding and she does want you there. I'm sure she'll deal with it as she sees fit.

Now...you just need to get a new outfit and enjoy the day