How would you feel

Teenie_D

I would be so hurt if that were me and really peed of tbh. Could you maybe ask your dad if there is a reason behind it, without making a big deal about it so he doesn't feel bad? If he doesn't know then it might prompt him to ask your step mother.

I think your step sister is downright rude to be honest, she could have had the decency to at least give you a reason. I would send a card and if you really felt you had to, a little token gift but that would be it.

I really feel for you actually

celinepatricia

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I think you should ask her to be honest, if it upset you today then at least you would know why. Otherwise this is going to bug you for weeks/months...

I think it's a bit rude saying it is down to finance but then saying 'only' 100 people are invited to the wedding and 'only' 200 to the reception!

I agree with the above.. If you dont find out the reason behind why youve not been invited but others have will eat away at you and spoil the good relationship that you have with your family now..

Nicki

I wasn't invited to my brother's wedding. It was a shotgun affair and only my sister and mum attended, no friends or other family members. I was still hurt not to be invited though.

I guess in your shoes it would depend on how close I was to my stepsister. Were you brought up together as children, and have a sister like relationship, or did your parents only get together when one or both of you were adults? Do you keep in touch outside of organised family get togethers or is this the only time you see and speak to each other? If it's more of a friendly acquaintanceship relationship with you only knowing each other because your parents are married, its more understandable than if it is a real step family bond IYSWIM.

Hope you do find some peace about this.

pupsicola

chris_n_tj wrote: »

I would bite the bullet and ask your step sister, I would feel upset and let down and would want to know the resaon why? You are upset as anyone would be. I guess you have nothing to lose in asking.

As for a gift or and a card, b u g g e r that. If you are not good enough to be a wecome guest then spend your money on your kids and have a lovely day out.

Have a hug I think you are in need of one xxxxx

Thank you, your post has made me cry, but I guess that is a good thing. Doesn't do you any good to coop up feelings. I feel knackered and upset and have a headache coming on. Not sure what to say to my kids about this as they have been looking forward to it too. Just feel uneasy that we are all left out of something so important. Will definately do something lovely with them both on the day now though.

I will give it a couple of days till I feel less emotional about it and then give her a call. Its completely up to her who she has at her wedding. I will just ask if everything is okay between us and let her do most of the talking. How awkward is that gonna be.....

Sambucus_Nigra

pupsicola wrote: »

Thank you, your post has made me cry, but I guess that is a good thing. Doesn't do you any good to coop up feelings. I feel knackered and upset and have a headache coming on. Not sure what to say to my kids about this as they have been looking forward to it too. Just feel uneasy that we are all left out of something so important. Will definately do something lovely with them both on the day now though.

I will give it a couple of days till I feel less emotional about it and then give her a call. Its completely up to her who she has at her wedding. I will just ask if everything is okay between us and let her do most of the talking. How awkward is that gonna be.....

Very - but not as awkward as never mentioning the fact that she got married, or the kids asking after the event when their wedding is going to be...etc etc

pupsicola

Nicki wrote: »

I wasn't invited to my brother's wedding. It was a shotgun affair and only my sister and mum attended, no friends or other family members. I was still hurt not to be invited though.

I guess in your shoes it would depend on how close I was to my stepsister. Were you brought up together as children, and have a sister like relationship, or did your parents only get together when one or both of you were adults? Do you keep in touch outside of organised family get togethers or is this the only time you see and speak to each other? If it's more of a friendly acquaintanceship relationship with you only knowing each other because your parents are married, its more understandable than if it is a real step family bond IYSWIM.

Hope you do find some peace about this.

We didn't grow up together but ive been related to her since my late teens. So known her 20+ years. We socialise alot. I email her and she is on facebook. Hence me posting here and not there. Will wait and see what she says. Dont want to make her feel bad, just need to know all is ok between us.

chris_n_tj

Aw I am sorry I didnt mean to upset you.
Families can be a pain in the butt cant they. I do feel you need to get to the bottom of this though, as others have said it will eat you up.

It wont be awkward for you sweetie you havnt done anything wrong, just remember its their loss not yours. xx

*max*

pupsicola wrote: »

Thank you, your post has made me cry, but I guess that is a good thing. Doesn't do you any good to coop up feelings. I feel knackered and upset and have a headache coming on. Not sure what to say to my kids about this as they have been looking forward to it too. Just feel uneasy that we are all left out of something so important. Will definately do something lovely with them both on the day now though.

I will give it a couple of days till I feel less emotional about it and then give her a call. Its completely up to her who she has at her wedding. I will just ask if everything is okay between us and let her do most of the talking. How awkward is that gonna be.....

Aww bless! I would be really upset too in your position. I think you have been handling it brilliantly though, much better than I would have! I applaud your self-control.

I agree with others who said you need to find out why, because it will be bothering you for a long time and will put a shadow on your relationship with her now. Better to know the reason than let it stew and build up resentment.

Sambucus_Nigra

'Hi Sis. I understand that you don't want ME at the wedding, but I'm completely flummoxed as to what to tell the little ones, they are really excited and I haven't the heart to tell them that Auntie doesn't want them there. If you could let me know why, and I'll try and manage their expectations and let them down gently. Kind Regards. Pups.'

concerned43

Gosh, I admire your restraint! When that was done to me by my brother (SIL decision) I punched her and never spoke to either of them again - turned out "I had once looked at her the wrong way" - bloody nutter, tho his life with her has been hell :eek: