Real Life MMD: Should I continue buying my god-daughter presents?

tallgirld

So how does your god-daughter receive these gifts in the first place? If you are handing them to her and not being thanked then they are just rude! If you are sending them through the post and never being thanked they are just rude! I wouldn't say you should stop but you could say something to the mum like "Do you not teach your child any manners?"!!!

I sent my friends son £20 for his 16th birthday and didnt hear a thing from him. When I saw him I said "Did you get that £20?" and he replied "Oh yes thanks" I was irritated that he didn't ring or even text me when he received it!! I'm not saying I wouldn't give him £20 again but I would think twice.

I have 5 god-children and they always thank me if I give them anything no matter how large or small. It's just plain courtesy to say please and thank you isn't it? What is this world coming to people???? :-)

rolokate

I think that the pleasure is to give the gift not moan about a lack of a thank you ,Just because there is no thank you doesn't mean it's not appreciated children just don't do it these days manners or not .
If you need to have a thank you, then don't give the gifts Simple

ey_up_mi_duck

Just a thought..my 12 year old daughter is dyslexic and detests having to write anything other than schoolwork. I was brought up 'old school' by my parents where thank you letters were a must and not too much effort for me & my sister, but for my brother (undiagnosed dyslexic) it was pure torture.
I'm not sure if this applies to your goddaughter (or her parents - dyslexia is passed on to children through one or both parents' genes), but as 10-15% of the UK population are dyslexic I felt compelled to respond to my first ever MSE dilemma.
Dyslexia is nothing to be ashamed of, but this isn't how my daughter sees it even after years of additional support in but mainly out of school (the latter thanks to Dyslexia Action, a national charity). The more people who know about it & understand it, the better.

pennygripper

You're her godparent, so you are taking responsibility for her spiritual welfare. A large part of a relationship with God involves asking and receiving, thanking and praising. Why not have a chat with her about how you respond when you give and get a present, and how that makes you feel? Let her know that you think about her and enjoy your interactions. Help her to make that contact a source of enjoyment for both of you. New habits don't form overnight, but need constant positive reinforcement. Find out the easiest way for her to respond.. texting? a phone call? fb? This is part of what you signed up for - treat it seriously and you both get huge benefit from the relationship. :T

Dyson

I read this reader response to the exact same issue in a newspaper etiquette column years ago, and it is exquisite (assuming you send present through post) ...

Either write or, next time you're on the phone to your friend, mention that you sent a present but are surprised not to have received a thank you note from your god-daughter. Since you are sure your god-daughter would have the good manners to thank you for a present, you can only assume that the gift has gone astray in the post and therefore it is no longer advisable to send a present in the future.

The reader noted that she received a swift thank you letter.

Hope it helps!:)

JulieGeorgiana

rolokate wrote: »

I think that the pleasure is to give the gift not moan about a lack of a thank you ,Just because there is no thank you doesn't mean it's not appreciated children just don't do it these days manners or not .
If you need to have a thank you, then don't give the gifts Simple

Where is the pleasure when you post the gift and don't know it's been received.

I know people say 'don't give to receive' but the OP isn't after a £20 gift in return... but a Thank You! Manners cost nothing....

And I think EVERYONE should expect a 'Thank You' for their gift.

You gift to make someone happy, it's nice to know if you did just that!

JulieGeorgiana

ey_up_mi_duck wrote: »

Just a thought..my 12 year old daughter is dyslexic and detests having to write anything other than schoolwork. I was brought up 'old school' by my parents where thank you letters were a must and not too much effort for me & my sister, but for my brother (undiagnosed dyslexic) it was pure torture.
I'm not sure if this applies to your goddaughter (or her parents - dyslexia is passed on to children through one or both parents' genes), but as 10-15% of the UK population are dyslexic I felt compelled to respond to my first ever MSE dilemma.
Dyslexia is nothing to be ashamed of, but this isn't how my daughter sees it even after years of additional support in but mainly out of school (the latter thanks to Dyslexia Action, a national charity). The more people who know about it & understand it, the better.

Although you raise a good point. I have a dyslexic friend... who picks up the phone and says 'Thank You' for your gift....!

Its not how the Thank You is given.... the point it that a Thank You is given at all!!!

birkee

STOP!
My impression is that somone has been used as a Godparent to fill the roll at a Christening for appearances sake.
That job done, you no longer feature in this families life, and could disappear without being noticed.
I've been that sort of Godparent myself, where the family moved to another part of the country, with no forwarding address.

Sure, it gives me pleasure to give presents, but without a "thank you" in return, you don't even know if they WANT you to give presents, because your goodwill is of no consequence to them, or, the responsibilty to say 'thank you', is a burden they don't want.
Goodwill is two way traffic. Goodwill unreturned, is seed on stoney ground.

bennett2kuk

Just tone it down, if you're giving with no gratitude just start sending cards. I don't like the culture of spending where you feel obliged to give to everybody you know.
I'm pleased in my family we buy cards for one another but I only spend money on my nephew, that's pretty much it. My Dad and I will exchange xmas gifts to the tune of around £20 but that's it.

kellym616

If it was me I would continue.As like you said its not the childs fault as long as she says thank you on receiving it.also you dont have to spend that much as well ,there is a forum on here call grab it now has loads of bargains may be this might help you as every one knows times are hard both my children have godparents some spend alot of time with them and buy presents all the time and 1 or 2 of them i might only see then twice a year.I always get xmas presents for them bdays i some times forget.If your friend is a real and true friend talk to them as well good luck