Real Life MMD: Should I continue buying my god-daughter presents?

Ebenezer_Screwj

If this were my god daughter I would have stopped buying the ungrateful, ill-mannered girl presents years ago. Just stop doing it and if the parents raise the matter say that you thought she never received your gifts because there was never a thank you letter.

icepopboogie

No, you should stop buying gifts now, you are being taken for granted. I certainly would not worry about your friend being upset, they do not have the same concern for your feelings, 10 years of no appreciation is enough, it's rude, hurtful and downright bad mannered.

prudence41

My god-daughter who's only two sends me thank you cards for all sorts of gifts - however I think her mum addresses the envelope!

I think it's just bad manners for a 10 year old not to say thank you for any gift. However as the OP is a god-mother, I would suggest she spends only what she can afford and perhaps the next gift should be a batch of thank you cards and a nice pen. After that, if there is no response, the next birthday should only be a card.

zeegoman

You should stop because your motivation for giving is all wrong!

clairet1961

jayjones wrote: »

Genius idea, gets my vote :T

great idea!!
I'm not sure what i think about this dilemma...i have the same prob with my nieces/nephews. I send them vouchers for birthdays/xmas and although their dad (my brother) usually lets me know by text/facebook when they have arrived, the kids themselves never say thank you. We don't see them often due to logistics but they are all old enough to read and write!
I remember spending lots of time when i was a child writing thank you essays and hated it, but i don't think it's too much to expect at least a little thank you card.
I would go with the next present being thank you cards!!

stmartinsdiver

I'd say that if no one has ever bothered to say thank you after 10 years of receiving presents every year then it is perfectly reasonable to stop. There is never any excuse for not taking the time to say thank you - email, phone call, in person or even a good old fashioned letter. They may not notice that you have stopped but I rather think they will and wonder if it has been sent or got lost. It would then put them in the position of wondering how to ask which may perhaps make them think about taking things for granted.
If they did ask, you can simply say that you can no longer afford to send gifts but will of course keep sending a card. It would also give you the opportunity (which you will probably not take) of mentioning that you've never known if the gifts have been received or appreciated as you never heard back.
You have no reason to feel guilty for stopping now.

freddy27

I was always sat down on Boxing day to write my thank you letters. Having made a note of what I'd recieved. It became part of after Christmas "Things to do". I never resented having to do this, afterall I did like getting a present. My Son did the same. However, it does not continue to this day. These days it seems increasingly prevalent that his children do not even understand "thank you" never mind a letter of thanks. So this last Christmas, they got nothing. My Son was furious. So I told him he should have brought his children up properly. They seem to think it is only rite that they get what they want. Well no more!

Gina_of_course!

My Godchildren are now 21 and 24... I live 300 miles from them and have done for the past 10 years, prior to that I lived a few miles away and consider myself really lucky that I got to spend a lot of time with them, doing things together, crafting, day trips etc.. As my god daughter reached her teens she would ring me and tell me stuff that she felt unable to tell her mum... which her mum was fine with and never felt left out, if anything it was good for her to know that youngster had someone to confide in.. They have always said thank you for gifts and were the ones who when they were late teens asked me to not buy them for them at Christmas ( had some serious health issues which impacted on my finances)

I think if anything the OP would be better off during this year cultivating a closer relationship with the 10 year old.. She will look back with good memories on her time with her god mother... and its the getting to know each other that will lead to a natural 'thank you'

I may only see them once or twice a year now but nothing changes.. apart from we go the pub instead of Mcdonalds ;-) They keep in contact via facebook.

Even when I have soppy moments they don't mind... as they know.. its in the job description.. .Godparents get to do fun stuff and are in a very responsible position.. after all should anything happen to the parents, you could be having to step into their shoes so to speak. I think I struck lucky in being chosen to be their godmother and the role wasnt taken lightly nor was it given without thought or discussion. Sadly my ex husband has had nothing to do with them for almost 16 years...

I've gabbed on a lot to say..... get to know youngster, don;t just be a present giver... write her letters if you live far away, suggest she sends you some photos and you can do the same... fave places, fave things, etc...

LisaLou1982

I never made or sent thank you letters or cards, but always always said thank you when i received the present. If the person wasnt there when i opened it then i called and said thank you over the telephone. I still do it to this day.

I find it terribly rude that someone would receive a gift, or money and not thank the person who sent it to them.

Im in a similar position myself to the OP and have now stopped sending money as the recipients children have never once called and said thank you for the money. I personally find that exceptionally rude and i dont care what anyone says about being too busy - theyre not! If i can find the time to do it then so can they

viclspence

I have a 3 year old and an 8 year old, I always make sure that any gifts received are thanked for. My 8 year old does her own, my 3 year old I do it for. This is how I was brought up. It rattles me when I buy a present for someone and don't get thanked, not even a text, this happens with my 'nephews', I say 'newphews' because me and their dad (my half brother) were separated when we were young (i was 3 when i was adopted and he wasn't born at that point), and found each other again 2 days after my little boy was born. He only ever contacts me when it is xmas when he asks what we want for Xmas!