Real Life MMD: Should I continue buying my god-daughter presents?

Losinmoney

And we have thanked assiduously for them all!

gaily

In response to the most recent post - I spend no time at all at charity shops or taking things back.

My family and I ask each other what we have one our 'wish lists' at Christmas. We all know approx how much we will spend on each other, and therefore know which items to pass on to which relatives. If we know we want something expensive, we let people know that we would be happy with money towards it.

My sister in law and I swap Argos pages (other catalogues are available!!) for the kids, which means they get what they want, but not 3 of the same thing!

I normally write the Thank you letter for my kids (they are only 4) on the computer, and let the family know what we've been doing for the past few months. I always enclose a disk or photos of the kids and make them sign their letters with thier Initials (we're not quite up to the full name yet). I will then add a handwritten note to those who have given us adults a present as well.

I work full time, have 4 year old twins, and a husband who doesn't know where the kitchen or laundry rooms are, so don't have much free time, but I know my family appreciate the 30 or minutes it takes to put the letter and disk together and print off X copies.

Saz97

When you agreed to be a god mother you take on the role of helping the parents to provide a moral up bringin for that child and if the parents don't have the same values as you maybe you should gentle ask the child to call etc on receipt of the pressy just to let you know that its arrived and hopefully a thank you would accompany this. As to giving expensive presents, i think that is entirely up to what you can afford and we all know the money saving experts mantra probably time to start using it!!

clairehi

I think the OP has to realise that some people just dont do thank you notes, and its not the 10 year old's fault if she has not been brought up to it. If the OP cant afford to send a £20 present she should not send one. If the OP feels that strongly about getting a thank you, dont send a present. If the recipients dont send a thank you, maybe they are just not that bothered about present exchanging.

I used to leave it up to DH to sort out cards and thank yous for presents from his side of the family, and I would do mine, as it seemed like a fair split of the effort. however he never got round to doing it. Several months after our wedding, I found a load of written but unsent thank you notes for wedding presents that he had just put in a drawer... ) Therefore its become yet another job that I now have to do - unfortunately my DH just cant be bothered to make the effort.

As a result we probably have caused offence to his aunts/uncles. not sure whether they blame him, me or both of us.

birkee

On second thoughts, MISS a gift on one occasion, and see if the family notice, and contact you to see if everything is alright with you. If they appear not to notice or care, you are just wasting money and emotions.

Losinmoney

Gaily, you're so lucky they will listen!

killielila

after my ex and i split up there was a rift between myself and my daughters 'godmother' ( i broke up with her dad before we ever had a naming ceremony but we had spoken to our friends about being her god parents ) but for 3 years she always got a xmas birthday and easter gift from her 'auntie *****' my daughter was 4 and the hurt feelings on my part were dying down she came home from her visit with her dad with a gift so i asked "oh how is 'auntie ' ? "
" i dont know who auntie ***** is mum she said"
i called her dad and not only had he made no effort to keep in touch none of the gifts had ever been acknowledged by him on my daughters behalf! I made the call to god mother and told her i had just found this out and would like to come for tea and spends some time with my daughter . she was in tears she loves my daughter and still stays in touch never missed any event . I am not really one for thank you cards ( my parents only ever sent them for BIG events like wedding and births ) but we always call or at least send a text . if its an item of clothing or something to use we will often send a picture of her wearing it or using it . now DD is 15 she her self will text or call every few weeks to keep in touch and ALWAYS makes a point of visiting with one another even going for a hot chocolate or something whenever she is in town

mike99f

No, No, No!

JSS

Yes, you should carry on, spend what you can afford. As for the thank you, well, we all KNOW it's polite, and I always made my kids send letters or emails, or phone up, but not everyone manages it. I questioned my friend once, about how come her kids (my godchildren) rarely send thanks, although they do always say it face-to-face - and she said oooh, we're just not as well organised as you, we always mean to but somehow we don't seem to manage it. I realised then that there was no point feeling any resentment - nothing was going to change, so I might as well accept it! I still love my godchildren so I still send gifts!

Taffy99

starjumper wrote: »

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Either that or your next present should be a stationery set complete with a pack of thank you cards!

Genius idea, gets my vote :T