Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

[Deleted User]

try getting her bin old fashioned terry squares, so she will feel when she wets.

cazziebo

Good advice from Pulliptears

I was reading recently that children are toilet training later because of the convenience and comfort of modern disposables. Both my two were out of nappies very early on (even tho' my mother told me they were "slow"!) and I think it's because I used terry nappies. I'd like to say because of the environment :A but partly the reason was also that I had no car and in those days nappies weren't vacuum packed so going into town to get them on a bus and a pram and baby just wasn't practical.

If she is wearing cotton pants like Pullip says then it's more likely she'll get to know when she needs to go - but yes - be prepared for accidents.

Good luck!

Millie's_Mum

My DD was not interested in potty training at all, when i tried the sitting on the potty and so on it never had any effect whatsoever until one day when she was 3years and two months and then she said I want to use the toilet and that was it, no training she just started using the toilet and has never looked back so i am a firm believer in leaving them until they are ready, cos one day it just 'clicks'.

I was lucky that i didn't have a deadline to train her to, though, could you speak to the nursery school about it? if they are offering places to kids who are only just three I would think there will be a few who aren't quite there yet.

If she is going part time, what sort of length session is she going to? Could you get away with putting her in knickers for the sessions as long as you are sure she has 'gone' before the session starts and again as soon as it ends? Maybe staff would be happy to take her in the middle of the session too?

pulliptears

From memory I toilet trained over the summer as well so drying the knickers etc was easier and the kids were warmer in just t shirt and pants.

Certainly when mine started the school Nursery wouldn't accept kids that weren't daytime dry, but that may vary.

Ishtar

We used the Gina Ford 'potty training in a week' as a reference book, rather than a structured system to follow. If you can borrow a copy, then all the better. We had a specific problem with DD which the Gina Ford book addressed - otherwise I wouldn't have bothered as in general I don't rate her systems at all (although I know it works for many others).

We still have one or two accidents, and she hasn't yet grasped the concept of using the loo to poo on, but the playgroup are really good and just change her clothes without a fuss.

You might find that your little one takes to it straight away - I've not had a chance to read all posts thoroughly, so apologies if already mentioned...We found reward charts to be very good, along with bribary with smarties!

The thing to remember is to remain calm - she'll soon get it...and don't worry about thinking you're 'late' training her, they all start at different times, and only you know when your child is ready.

Good luck!
D.

Nicki

I am SEN governor for a school with a nursery class, and would be very very cross if they told parents they wouldn't accept a child who wasn't toilet trained, as this is against government guidelines. My school will take children in nappies and I would kick up a fuss as a parent if any nursery told me they wouldn't whether or not my child had a diagnosed special need.

I agree with those who have said that children become trained when they are ready, and from what you have said, your child isn't. That's not anyone's fault and certainly not yours, and to be honest it makes no difference whether she is in disposable nappies, cotton knickers or terries. She won't get there until she understands the need to go, and that the toilet is the place (speaking as a mother whose DD took 3 years, in cotton pants to achieve toilet training at the age of 5!) Putting pressure on yourself, and her, will only make things worse, and I would have thought that you will not have a huge amount of time over the Christmas period to do this (and it will also be a problem if you are planning on visiting friends and family). She also will not want to have the stress of starting nursery (especially if this is the first time she has been separated from you) at the same time as increased expectations round toileting.

I would therefore suggest that you start toilet training her when you see signs that she is ready, and that in the meantime you speak to school and let them know that she is still in nappies and how do they want to deal with this. If necessary, you should take this up to governor level, as the school should not be refusing to take her on this basis.

pulliptears

Nicki wrote: »

I am SEN governor for a school with a nursery class, and would be very very cross if they told parents they wouldn't accept a child who wasn't toilet trained, as this is against government guidelines. My school will take children in nappies and I would kick up a fuss as a parent if any nursery told me they wouldn't whether or not my child had a diagnosed special need.

Im going back to when DD started Nursery (she is ten now), but I recall the nursery teacher talking to a lady next to me who said her child wasn't out of nappies. Teacher said that unfortunately they didnt accept children who werent toilet trained because they handnt got the staff to deal with accidents. This was a catholic nursery that was part of the catholic primary school.
I thought at the time this was a little harsh, so Im pleased to see government guidelines now take this into consideration.

You cant rush kids, parents are bombarded with targets and averages and Ive always felt it unfair to try and compare your child to an ideal. Children are very much individuals and what does it matter if they dont achieve milestones when the books say they should?!

gingababe

Nicki wrote: »

I am SEN governor for a school with a nursery class, and would be very very cross if they told parents they wouldn't accept a child who wasn't toilet trained, as this is against government guidelines. My school will take children in nappies and I would kick up a fuss as a parent if any nursery told me they wouldn't whether or not my child had a diagnosed special need.

Nicki, I was very interested to read about what you put re government guidelines!!! As I have been told that as my little one who is three, isn`t fully potty trained they wouldn`t take. The reason being in case of an accident re a poo, as they haven`t the staff & wouldn`t change ....

Thanks for that insight, I will be taking this forward.

Thanks
Ginga

zztopgirl

My dd goes to a pre-school, she is still in pull-ups but when she does a poo, they call me to come in and take her home. They have no facillities to change her. Its only been about twice since she started in september so we arent doing too bad. She refuses point blank to wear knickers yet, just have to wait til she is ready.

Anyone reading this who is being refused a place, as long as you are willing and able to drop everything to collect your child, then there shouldnt be a problem. Good luck.

funky-footprints

In our school nursery they will accept a child in pull ups however the parent has to write a letter to inform the class leader. There is one child currently in nursery whose mum thinks she is too young to be potty trained so the mum has to go to the school if the child dirties herself.

im suprised by the government guidelines actually, a local playgroup that started up closed down, as the leaders were tired of changing bums all morning.

I let my son and daughter run around with nothing on thier bottom half, it took hardly any time to potty train them, but going out fully dressed was a different matter.
id approach the nursery and find out thier guidelines.