Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

Merlot

My daughter was 4 and 1 month before she was fully toilet trained, we had her to the consultants at the hospital etc etc, as the health visitor was concerned she was a late developer, this was 6 years ago, and my nursery was more than happy to change her, I simply stated that she was under a consultant and undergoing test, although the private nursery in the same town wouldn't take her, i do think its down to the individual nursery.

Don't panic and don't rush her, she'll do it when shes ready, my Ds was 17 months, they will do it when they are ready.

don9999

Just wanted to agree with Merlot - she will do it when she is ready.

I really don't believe there is a 'right' time for anything - whether it be toilet training, learning to walk, learning to talk properly etc. etc..

Of course, by all means try the different methods - and I'm sure practically everyone will have a suggestion. But just because someone might say 'it worked for my child' it doesn't mean it will work for yours. Try them, but don't feel pressured that 'this time it HAS to work' or feel stressed at all.

I know in my case, my wife started to get rather stressed when our son was a late developer. But that does no one any good. Follow some of the ideas. Encourage your daughter. But if it doesn't happen for a while, then so be it.

My son wasn't toilet trained until he was past 4. My daughter didn't stop crying through the night until she was 2. My other daughter didn't learn to walk until she was almost 4 (though she has Down's Syndrome). Was I bothered? Well.....it wasn't easy getting minimal sleep for 2 years etc..., but there is absolutely no point in getting too stressed about things.

Take advice. Try things out. If they work, great. If they don't, then just wait until your daughter learns for herself.

Hope this helps.
Cheers,
Don

f1re_cr4cker

my tips (going through this at the mo and dd is doing v well bless her) are NOT to start off in pants- they can get them confsued with nappies. id recommend staying at home indoors if poss for a week and just let her run aorund the house naked so she has easy access to the potty and can see what happens when she has an accident.

Minerva69

Thank you so much for the helpful replies everyone. I think the best thing to do will be to contact the nursery and see what they say. I should have asked when on the phone this afternoon but I was that gobsmacked they had offered her a place I didn't think of any questions to ask until afterwards They have recently become a Sure Start children's centre so perhaps they will have some nappy changing facilities. I only live 5 minutes walk away so it wouldn't be a problem if I had to go there.

My DD was a late developer in both sitting up and walking, she was almost referred to a physiotherapist last year by our health visitor because she was nearly 2 and not walking, then one day she just stood up and walked across the room. I think it will probably be the same with potty training.

We told her we were going to take her shopping tomorrow to buy another potty and some "big girls pants", and she seemed quite interested so I think we'll follow through with that and see what happens then!

merlinormartin

According to my friend the best advice she was ever given (by a paediatrician) was to put pants on UNDER the nappy so the child feels wet and make her more aware of what she is doing.
New legalisation does not allow settings to discrimnate against children who are not toilet trained and if they do they are in breach of several standards, discrimination, child protection (neglect not to change them), working with parents, being just some of them

i also found this
"It is clear therefore that anyone with a named condition that affects aspects of personal development must not be discriminated against. However, it is also unacceptable to refuse admission to other children who are delayed in achieving continence. Delayed continence is not necessarily linked with learning difficulties. However, children with global developmental delay which may not have been identified by the time they enter nursery or school are likely to be late coming out of nappies"

Thats not to say your child suffers from such a delay, i was just highlighting another reason nurserys can no longer refuse to admit a child who is not toilet trained.

emmaroids

i can sympathize with your situation.

our DD starts nursery in january and we were so worried that she wasn't out of nappy's and it seemed to take forever to try and get her to sit on the potty, but one day it just clicked and she has been dry ever since.
try letting her be round the house in just pants and keep asking `do you need your potty?`
i will happen, good luck with it.

and to the above poster, a school can refuse a child who is not out of nappy's. they may not have the facility's or the extra staff to change nappy's all day. at least that what i have been told :rolleyes:

Nicki

emmaroids wrote: »

and to the above poster, a school can refuse a child who is not out of nappy's. they may not have the facility's or the extra staff to change nappy's all day. at least that what i have been told :rolleyes:

So because someone refused your child, and you didn't know any better, this means that the two posters, of which I am one, who know the law on this subject must be wrong

People do discriminate for all kinds of reasons in the world, and are often not pulled up for this, but it doesn't change the law. You presumably would have raised cain had you tried to enrol your child in a state nursery and been told you couldn't do so because they were black/catholic/had homosexual parents and recognised that this was unlawful. This situation is no different.

Here is a good link which explains the legal situation in detail and is categoric that a school cannot refuse a child on the basis they are still in nappies.

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=9358&hl=nappies+school

As for not having enough staff - the staff child ratio for children of this age group by law has to be very high, and so it is frankly just an excuse to say that no member of staff can be spared to change the nappy. It might present problems if all 30 children in the nursery class are in nappies, but the worst year in our school's nursery was when there were 5, and the staff coped very well with this. Usually there are none or only 1 or 2.

nej

pulliptears wrote: »

From memory I toilet trained over the summer

Damn, you've got a good memory! I can barely remember going to school!

maverickangel

It's probably worth speaking to the nursery / preschool to find out what their policy is. Staffing ratios are very strict for pre-schools, and whilst they can't refuse a child on the basis of incontinence, they can ask you to come in and change your child if necessary. Two staff are needed to change a nappy, due to child protection, which in some settings can leave insufficient staff to ensure the appropriate ratio of staff to children "on the shop floor" is being maintained.

Worst case scenario would be you might have to go in and change her, but some pre-schools will change them no problem. It depends on the number of staff and the number of children still in nappies.

In terms of potty training, what I did with DD is let her run round indoors with no bottoms on for a week and trailed her, potty in hand:eek: , ready to slide it into position at the crucial moment. We had a few accidents and one of my rugs has never been the same, but she got the hang of it pretty quickly. I did have a definite cut off for nappies though. When we went out after that first few days she wore pants, we went only short journeys / distances and I took piles of changes, towels and so on, but no nappies.
We also went out and bought pants she choose herself (with cats on the front), which helped, as she didn't want the cats on them to get wet

I would say give it a go, even if she hasn't been that interested, but if she's not into the whole idea then leave it for a few weeks and try again. Don't make a big deal about it.
Best of luck.

maverickangel

Sorry, i'm telling you wrong about you having to come in and change DD - have just read Nicki's link. It appears you can send her in nappies and the nursery have to change her if necessary or it contravenes the DDA (Disability Discrimination Act). :j

Hurrah! No worries then.