Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

Justie

To start school then yes she'd probably have to be dry but nursery I don't think the same necessarily applies. Presumably the nursery will have made it clear when she applied.

mykidsmum_2

Is the little girl going to actual nursery school or a playgroup within the school, I ask because my DD is the same age (3 in oct) and has just started playgroup that is situated with in the school where she will attend nursery next september and reception in 2009. At my DD's palygroup they are quite happy to change nappies and help with potty training if the need applies.
children really do vary, my oldest wasnt toilet trained till she was 3yrs 2 months, my youngest was dry by 2yrs 4 months
hope that helps?

grannynise

To the best of my knowledge, which is only local, I don't think that schools or nurseries CAN refuse to take a child due to not being clean and dry. If your friend is concerned that her child might not be given a place she should contact the Chidlren's Services department of her local authority who have a responsibility for all the providers whether state funded or private.

Spendless

mykidsmum wrote: »

children really do vary, my oldest wasnt toilet trained till she was 3yrs 2 months, my youngest was dry by 2yrs 4 months
hope that helps?

That was my experience too. My son took off his nappy also at 2yr4 months and announced he wasn't wearing them anymore and that was it. When mums started talking about 'potty training' I had no idea what they meant cos I thought all kids did same as mine had.:o My daughter tho was a complete nightmare and eventually when I changed her private nursery a couple of months short of her 3rd birthday, the new staff asked me if I'd like them to help and they acheived within a few weeks what i'd been struggling with for months. Incidentally my sister has twins and one of them was potty trained a year before her brother. He did go to school nursery too but was put in pull-ups. Your friend needs to ask the school what the policy is for hildren still in nappies, but it might just be her daughter isn't ready yet.

webbie

grannynise wrote: »

To the best of my knowledge, which is only local, I don't think that schools or nurseries CAN refuse to take a child due to not being clean and dry. If your friend is concerned that her child might not be given a place she should contact the Chidlren's Services department of her local authority who have a responsibility for all the providers whether state funded or private.

I understand they can refuse to admit a child in nappies, if they have not proved to Ofsted that they have the correct facilities. The nursery needs to have private changing facilities and the staff numbers to cope with taking a child out to the changed. However, they have to by law provide this facility for special needs.

bestpud

Do you actually like this friend at all? It seems as though you are secretly hoping she gets what's coming to her and the nursery refuse to take her child?

Also, how is the fact that you paid for a private nursery relevent? Should those who don't pay expect less basic care for their child?

However, that aside, if the nursery are happy to change nappies and help out with potty training then I don't see this is a big issue - certainly not 'disgusting' anyway! That's a bit harsh imo.

At the age of three, and in the company of other children using the potty, her daughter may well learn very quickly. Some are just quicker than others and some respond better to 'peer pressure' than others.

Perhaps your friend has tried and feels embarrassed that it is not working but, realising you are a covert judgementalist, doesn't want to admit it?

annaangeluk_2

tiamai_d wrote: »

Yes, they will expect her to be dry unless there is a medical reason for her not being toilet trained yet.

She has to make an attempt and if she is having difficulty, speak to her HV, GP etc. The nursery can ask for a letter from her GP detailing why toilet training is not in place.

However, I think that before you slag her off you should make sure you have your facts correct. Any reason for a lack of senstaion will hinder toilet training and there may be no signs at all.

Either way its not really any of your business if you are just finding out to sit on your high horse. If you intend to help her, then fair enough.

I'm quite disapointed that people think I'm "slagging" this woman off just to "sit on my high horse." I know the mother and the child very well and there is definitely no reason why she can't use a potty. In fact I have heard her ask her mum when she can have "big girls knickers" and used a potty at another friends house without any help.

I have offered to help the mother, and asked her if she would like to have a potty training dvd and chart I was given when my dd was little. The mother's response?? Not "no thanks I've got it covered or Yes please or even, it;s none of your business!" Her response was, (and this is a direct quote) "Why should I bother? Nursery get paid to do these things." So forgive me for calling her lazy!

annaangeluk_2

bestpud wrote: »

Do you actually like this friend at all? It seems as though you are secretly hoping she gets what's coming to her and the nursery refuse to take her child?

Also, how is the fact that you paid for a private nursery relevent? Should those who don't pay expect less basic care for their child?

However, that aside, if the nursery are happy to change nappies and help out with potty training then I don't see this is a big issue - certainly not 'disgusting' anyway! That's a bit harsh imo.

At the age of three, and in the company of other children using the potty, her daughter may well learn very quickly. Some are just quicker than others and some respond better to 'peer pressure' than others.

Perhaps your friend has tried and feels embarrassed that it is not working but, realising you are a covert judgementalist, doesn't want to admit it?

Yes I do like this woman but that doesn't mean I don't find her attitude very strange. And no I don't want her to lose the nursery place as her daughter will be heartbroken.

The reason I mentioned that dd went to a private nursery was to make the point that they had way more staff per child but would not do all the potty training. The school she is putting her child into has less staff therefore presumably less time to potty train without any help from the parents.

This mother had admitted that she doesn't want to start potty training as it's "too much hassle!" How does that make me judgemental??

dizzy_lizzie

I work with year 1 and year 2 children in a primary school and worked in the nursery department for 5 years. Most of our children were toilet trained but to be honest those that weren't had special needs and we changed their nappies. Those that were just out of nappies we would always ask very regularly if they needed the loo just to stop any accidents. The amount of children that did have a mishap was a lot but we always asked parents etc to keep a spare set of clothes in school just in case. I'm not sure regarding the law now if nurseries can refuse if children aren't toilet trained. I think at one time, a few years ago, they could. We never did but then the nursery head and nnebs like myself just accepted it as part of the job we love. x

mrcow

annaangeluk wrote: »

I'm quite disapointed that people think I'm "slagging" this woman off just to "sit on my high horse."

What was the point of starting this thread if not to do exactly that?